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I can't afford living on the east coast

Discussion in 'Finances, Work, and Disability' started by Vincent, Sep 27, 2012.

  1. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I could not agree more with this statement. I live in a 'food desert' so to speak. There is a Safeway across the street. Their produce and service suck. They have little to no organic. One thing I really liked living in York pa was a small organic store. Their prices and selection were excellent; they even had a huge selection of vitamins and literature.

    Safeway (the one here) routinely list things right before expiration or sell potatoes that are already sprouted, etc. Without getting into all the politics of it there was a guy in line one time and he said something like 'it's these damn unions we have to get rid of, that's why this store is X, he was angry and unfortunately rude to the staff'. After the guy left the employees literally said 'we don't care what you think, don't shop here'. They are union, and I agree that a union is needed to counterbalance corporate power, it's just shame that the side effect can be total and complete apathy on part of the employees.


    Yes I've also thought more about the tornado question. I believe the media only shows those areas designed to scare the daylights out of you. I've also read that the dangerous place to be is in a trailer, in a house you are much safer. In reality in a tornado situation I would probably just need to stay indoors or in a basement, etc. It's probably more of the news media programming than an actual reality that a tornado would cause me any harm.

    In an idle setting I would live in a area where I could ride my bike most of the time. Where the driving is not insane like it is here, in the WABASH area, and organic produce is readily available. It is available here but you have to drive 18 miles on the kill or be killed highway to get to Trader Joes, there is also a Whole Foods but that is in the city of Baltimore. I'm open to driving, and actually don't mind it, like when I lived in Pa. I do like using my bike but living in a place where I can ride my bike to most things might be too expensive.

    I posted on another fourm called city-data, it's a forum that's all about cities and moving. They have forums for every state and every city; it's a great resource. Anyway the consensus when I posted 2 years ago (yes I've been trying to figure this out for quite a while) was to move away from any coast and move to the south or the middle of the country, avoiding all coasts.

    I have thought about Portland at one point but I figured since it was on the coast it would be too expensive. I also probably looked on craigslist to see sample rents, since statistics will only get you so far. That is one of my main barometers for cost, craigslist. Their methodology for cost of living might be different than what I might consider, since some things aren't as relevant to me.

    My number one thing is can I afford it and can I get around and not have to live on top of people. I have severe anxiety and I don't like living in claustrophobic environments. For example I will not live in an apt complex, I will only live in small 24 or less units type things. I also will not live on the bottom level anymore because all you here is STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP. For example here where I live I can not sleep in the room that is designated as the bedroom because if I hear any noise at all I will not shift out of hyper-vigilant mode and allow sleep. I don't need to live in or next to a corn field per say, just not in a congested area.

    I do believe that it's just like this here since it's east coast and the high population density. If you look at the country as a whole most of the country does not live like this, at least that is my take on it.

    I tried to respond to everyone; I would respond by name its just I'm so tired I don't remember who said what and I don't want to have to go back and figure it out. I do appreciate everyone for their suggestions.

    I will also keep this thread updated as any new information or suggestions come my way, hopefully I can bounce it off some of the members here.

    I would also like to add that I first state with the states that do not tax SS, then I move from there. How it is even moral to tax people on SS is beyond me. I also look at taxes in general, states that tax food, which is also totally immoral. TN looked like an ideal state but their sales tax is almost 10%.
    Jarod likes this.
  2. PNR2008

    PNR2008 Senior Member

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    Vincent, I lived in Lakewood, OH for 33yrs and I loved most of it. Public transportation is great, it's a diverse community, great music and art, yet folksy with parades, car shows at picnics and nobody realizes how great Lake Erie is. My problem was my old house with three floors that was killing me so I moved to a 55 and over community with ranch type homes and is more country. Lakewood has organic food co-ops and weekly farmers markets, a great hospital and police and fire service. It's also a walking city which I loved when I was well, even driving everything is so close that gas isn't a big deal. The best place to live is a double house probably on the top for a good rent and spacious rooms on a quiet street. So maybe Bedford would be a good place to start. It's inexpensive except for heat in the winter but that doesn't last forever. Take care and good luck with your search.
  3. caledonia

    caledonia

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    Cincinnati, OH, USA
    I live in Cincnnati. I have also lived in Cleveland and Columbus when I was back in college and co-oping. Of course, I'm partial to Cincinnati because I grew up here, but if I had to pick either Cleveland or Columbus, I would go with Columbus. Lake Erie is cool, but you get huge lake effect snows and the wickedest lightning and thunderstorms I've ever seen. On the plus side, summers are cooler.

    In Cincnnati, due to global warming, we've moved from a Zone 4 to a Zone 5. This is the little planting zone you see on seed packets that tell you when the first and last frosts are so you know when to plant. The planting season is several weeks longer than it used to be.

    Our winters anymore are no big deal. Snow never amounts to more than a few inches. Which is not to say we couldn't get a big dumping once every 5 years, or a major ice storm with a similar frequency, but it's pretty rare any more.

    We do get the occasional tornado, but I don't think we've ever gotten anything above an EF 3. Out west is where you can get those monster EF 4s and 5s.

    There seems to be a certain track that the tornados go on, so if you decided to come here, I can tell you where not to move to avoid tornados. They take weather reporting really seriously here. We have stations with triple Doppler radar. I'm waiting for someone to get quaduple Doppler radar next - lol.. Anyway, the radar has become so sophisticated, that they can tell you down to the street and the minute when and where the storm is going to hit.

    There is a nice arts and entertainment scene here - lots of great local music, lots of free festivals in the summer. I live near a Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Kroger with decent health food section, and a health food store. Plus there are neighborhood farmers markets in the summer. A little farther away is Jungle Jims, which is a huge international market which will boggle your mind. So lots of selection in the organic and specialty food arena, if you can afford it.

    Traffic is a lot more congested than it used to be. We try to get any shopping done before rush hour if we have to use the highway. They've installed video cams and electronic traffic signs to notify you of any delays.

    The only big negative is lack of doctors. My naturopath is here, but my main CFS doc is in Akron.

    What else - summers can be really hot and humid. I don't do heat well, so I stay in the AC a lot in the summer. It seems like they're only getting hotter and longer.

    I used to do a lot of biking (before). There are several dedicated bike trails, but for the most part you would be riding on the streets with traffic aka no bike lanes. The city is hilly in parts which is more fun going down, than up. I had a preferred biking area all scoped out with residential streets and low traffic and flatter, with less hills. There is at least one bike club where they go riding as a group. So that could be a way to meet people.
  4. PNR2008

    PNR2008 Senior Member

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    Caledonia, Since Elise asked about a CFS doctor in OH earlier can you give us the name of your
    doc in Akron? Is it Dr.Pellegrino? Are you happy with him? This info would bequite helpful.
  5. MEG

    MEG Senior Member

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    Asheville, NC
    When I built my home in 2008 (just in time!!!!) before the 'collapse', I did ONE thing right. Or at least I think so. I built an apartment downstairs with it's own access. It is just one bedroom, a bath and family room and it's own covered deck. I also put a gas fireplace down there in case someone wanted warm and I wanted cold! Then I did the same with the upper floor....bedroom, handicapped bathroom, family room and a small deck/balcony and it's own heating/cooling zone. Hubby and I are on the main floor...same thing, bedroom, handicapped bath, kitchen, family room and laundry and a dining room that is my sewing room...ooopppsss! I knew I would want to have a place for someone to live with me as my husband is quite a bit older than I am. But now, I am so darn disabled and sick I swear he may outlive me.

    I know that there is no way I could live alone. I would die of loneliness. I am just one of those people who hates being alone! Plus I get frightened alone out here in the country.

    So what do I do with all this 'house' since it is only Hubby and me here? I started a part-time 'Hostel" as the Appalachian Trail goes right through my little community in several places! The hikers love it...and if someone can't 'pay' they do chores for me. I love having them, and every time last summer the girls cleaned my kitchen and the hikers bathrooms before they left...it was wonderful until late in the summer when I crashed and could not get out of bed for several weeks.

    My dream is to make my home into a 'group' home for 'us' if I can talk Hubby into it. Right now he wants his privacy...and the hikers are enough. But keep posted...it is my dream.

    PS I pray for all of you who have to even THINK of moving...reading this thread had touched my heart. Most of us live on a shoestring, myself included, so please know my heart goes out to anyone who has to try to find a home. And I like the idea of one of the big CFS associations starting group homes around the country.
    August59, taniaaust1, Vincent and 3 others like this.
  6. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I'm still looking for an area. I was thinking if I could attend a senior seminar or something, that could help. I know there are resources and planners of this sort for those who are about to retire. If not it'll probably come down to me just picking an area based on craigslist and other data, and wing'ing it. If it doesn't work out then I'll just book x days in the next hotel x amount of states away.

    On monday I see my therapist again and I'm going to get a better idea of where I'm going and when I will be doing it. I might even stay here longer but I know I can not stay here forever.
  7. Jarod

    Jarod Senior Member

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    planet earth
    Hey Vincent.

    You may want to consider the benefit of living near friends and family. Unless you can make friends easily.

    I think it is important to have a social network if possible (which I don't). I know many of us don't because we don't have the energy to get out.

    So if you have a friend in an area already, that may help you get established and be a good place to start.

    However, I've traveled by myself to strange places where I don't know anybody and it seems to eventually work out with time. There are good/friendly people everywhere.

    All the best.
    Jarod
  8. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    So I met with my therapist and the only real conclusion I came to was if I want to continue living here I will need to make drastic financial changes; the largest of which would be selling my car and getting a 50cc scooter instead (no insurance, or tags needed).

    I'm sick and tired of this, excuse my french, ass expensive state. It's 125% the national average to live here, and I see the writing on the wall. I can either buy time and 'hope' something or someone comes along and helps me or I can just leave, no matter how hard it'll be.

    Jarod my family doesn't want to be inconvenienced by me and they are a lost cause. All of my friends have moved away. The only thing keeping me here is my therapist, nothing else.
  9. Little Bluestem

    Little Bluestem Senescent on the Illinois prairie, USA

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    Midwest, USA
    A good therapist is difficult to find, but is yours worth staying in an ass expensive state for? Once you sell the car, it becomes more difficult to escape move.
    Vincent likes this.
  10. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    Yes and that is the crux of the matter, if I did sell my car, I lose my freedom and become a second-class citizen. I hate to say it but unless you live in an area with a reliable, punctual, and safe mass transit you are in trouble.

    I'm looking at moving to Texas, I see it listed over and over as low cost of living, craigslist and grocery store circulars also reflect this.

    I've done a lot in 4 years, and even if I didn't find another therapist then oh well, at least I can function well enough. I can return phone calls, advocate for myself, I know how to say 'no'. It's getting to the point now where the sacrifices are too great, and I want to have confidence in myself and just go.
  11. Jarod

    Jarod Senior Member

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    planet earth
    I think you are taking a very realistic approach which is healthy. I lived in denial for years and was out of touch with the gravity of my situation. I think you will feel empowered once you make the journey and get settled in your new place.

    Go for it Man! Going to work out fine. Let me know where you land, I'm right behind you.
  12. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I have calmed down from yesterday. Yes I do want to leave, but as I've moved 11 times in 8 years I'm taking this one with as much diligance as possible. Yesterday just set me off financially. There is this new deli opened up a block away, called ravage deli. I was in route to get my normal 8 in cheese steak for 7 dollars and I figured I would stop in.

    I ordered a pork roast sandwhich, turns out all their beef is grass fed; I should'a known better. Normal was 7 I got the large for 10, she told me its the same size bun just more meat. What I got was smaller, and with less meat than a double whopper from burger king. I also paid 1.50 for an 8oz 'mexican coke'. I didn't complain, I figured it was my fault for ordering it. It just went to show me how ridiculous it all is in my present location.

    After talking with the front desk lady briefly about grass fed beef and gmo etc, I realized how ignorant the general public is, then I realized how informed I was:)

    I'll just keep putting everything over budget on the credit card like I have been, and when I figure out where and when I'm going I will go.
  13. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Sth Australia
    :( sorry to hear that you are having to live off the credit card. I had to do that for quite while too and maxed it out (fortunately things better in that area for me now that I do get a lot of help).

    The weather here in Aust. is warming up and I got reminded the other day of just how sick I get when weather is warmer :( .. was so so sick, almost unbearable and it isnt even summer yet. Im so needing to move before summer comes... the house Im in now is always hellish in summer with me some days not even being able to be in the house due to it gets like an oven. When I was very sick from the heat.. I was suddenly thinking .. it matters not where I move as long as I get out of here.

    I dont know what to do, I need to move and I need to move ASAP but I cant get my brain around everything and what is best to figure it all out. (People who Ive been ringing up to find out if I can get extra help to move.. arent returning my phone calls..and Ive been ringing over and over again the support organisation..with each time being told that they will get the right person to call me but they dont, no one rings back even when they gave me certain day they would ring back. Im going to have to ring them YET AGAIN as Ive now waited a whole week again from when they told me they'd ring... this mentally exhausts me and is stressful.

    anyway.. just want to say Im thinking of you Vincent and the problems you too are facing.
  14. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I've decided to stay where I am at until I exhaust all of my financial options and then I will leave. Unless a see a life changing recovery (which could still happen, I believe I have not seen the right drs or had the right tests, many of which are listed on this forum) I will leave this area.

    After thinking about it more if this is just the way my life is, I would be much better served to live in a more relaxing area. The cost of living and congestion is rather high in the Baltimore area. If I try to fit everything into my meager budget, I'm afraid this will just cause more stress.
  15. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Vincent.. Im glad you have made up your mind what to do for now (indecision I find quite draining).

    I did end up moving as I had to do and the move was the nightmare I thought it would be. So many things went wrong and I got less help then people told me they'd give (afterwards they said they had no idea it would be that much work to help me move). A couple of months after my move.. I have boxes still all over my house.. only a small amount of my clothes unpacked etc etc. At this rate its going to be 12 mths of using the home support I get to settle into this house to the point where I dont have boxes laying around.

    The move has crashed me too so the home support which used to cover my needs, now doesnt and Im sicker and are lower then my previous baseline. I may be looking at 2 years to recover back to my previous baseline from where the move has sent me..

    best luck
  16. Shoesies

    Shoesies Senior Member

    The Northern mountains of Georgia and just over the line in North Carolina are extremely low cost comparative to Baltimore or even larger cities in Texas. There is no mass transit, you must have a car. When I moved here from Miami there were actually just two stop lights in this town and groceries were 40 minutes away. I find I do not miss the congestion of the city. I am able to live in a vastly larger home on three acres instead of zero lot lines. Rent on a two bedroom house on one acre in this town is 450 a month. Recently, a log home on a farm was offered 2300 sq ft, 700 a month including utilities and cable and you can ride the horses there for free. It is a trade off. I drive an hour for a good meal unless I make it here. My doctor is two hours away. There are 13 waterfalls within 8 miles of me and when I am not in relapse I highly enjoy them. Otherwise looking out my windows from the couch at the forest land behind me suffices.

    I pray you find someone to help you move. Being content in your enviornment helps so much with this illness.
  17. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I hope this isn't too late of a reply but I wanted to update everyone on what I eventually did. I looked at many areas and eventually wound up living with a friend in a suburb of Arlington TX.

    The problem with living here is the shear enormity of 'stuff': buildings, roads, and people. I thought rush hour was bad back in the Baltimore area, this is like that but on anabolic steroids.

    I drove 1400 miles over 4 days and thought it would be more fun than it actually was. Driving through VA and NE Tennessee was cool but after that you literally drive straight for hours on end, no hills, no turns, no nothing.

    After being here two weeks I'm not sure I can stay. 5 guys share a 2000sq/ft house. Sure the place is big but there is just too much noise and unpredictability and no room in the kitchen, especially the refrigerator. My stress levels have never been higher and I wound up in the ER yesterday and needed IV fluids to make the POTS-induced confusion to go away. Never mind have to fight with staff and Drs trying to explain this to them.

    I did drive back to the Cleveland area to live with a friend but when I got there after a week his girlfriend said it 'isn't going to work' with no further explanation. Further research and I zeroed in on Greensboro, NC for it's low housing cost and good internet speeds. I used broadbadmap.gov as a starting point since I can not live in an area with crappy internet.

    Have another friend who lives in Carthage MO and am now looking at that area. Right now I literally can't stand up since the pressure in my head is so bad. I'll expound on this topic in another thread.
    taniaaust1 and Little Bluestem like this.
  18. minkeygirl

    minkeygirl Senior Member

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    @Vincent Boy I feel for you. I'm in my own place right now but I worry every day about money. In fact right I'm freaking out now about some stuff that reared it's head late Friday afternoon, too late for me to resolve until this week.

    I tossed around a roommate and then think how could I possibly do that? I've lived alone for so long. I panic just thinking about it.

    FYI I was born and raised in South Euclid (east suburbs of Cleveland) and escaped in 75. I went back from 2002-2005 but left because it's like living in the dark ages there. No services for the disabled, no medical care.

    I hope you can get yourself settled.
  19. Vincent

    Vincent Senior Member

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    Baltimore, Maryland USA
    I'm pretty overwhelmed with the choices and just trying to live day to day right now. I don't want to get too invested in this area with doctors or anyone else, since I plan on moving. My search criteria:

    quiet (I don't want to hear anything that doesn't originate from within my apartment)
    cable or better internet
    under 500

    I wont live in an apartment complex because of noise, and I wont live on the bottom floor of anything with people on top of me. Will consider small, single floor, apartment complexs with a few units and then adequate space between the next set.

    Also need access to mental health services, which can be a big problem in more rural areas. Prefer a chipotle (only real place I can eat, food allergies) within 20 miles and costco within 35 but I think I can work around the latter. When I'm too tired to make anything, chipotle is a lifesaver. Can't reply on smaller outfits to literally even know what's in their food much less them explain it to me. Can't eat gluten, caesin, milk, or egg.
  20. minkeygirl

    minkeygirl Senior Member

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    Well good luck with that.

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