I am usually asking you guys how you cope with guilt, jealousy and other feelings but now am curious how you deal with finding the energy and motivation for literally endless paperwork and bureaucracy? I am dealing with bureaucracy from my employer, private disability company, soon-to-be social security application and finding a disability attorney, insurance company and Covered CA (Obama Care health exchange office), trying to get a new medication (Valcyte) and soon-to-be applying to Genentech to get financial assistance/approval of this medication. And this is just the bureaucracy related to my medical and disability issues, not to mention other issues like that we just found mold in our condo (rental) for the second time and the last time they remediated it, I had to move out for a month during the process. There are times if it were just me and I were alone, I would give up b/c I don't have it in me to go through the constant battle with all of these issues while feeling so sick. I asked my husband tonight if I still bring more positive to his life than negative and he said yes so this is the one thing that motivates me to move forward and push through all of this stuff. That and in the end when my long term disability is approved and if the new medication (Valcyte) helps me get better than it will have been worth it. But in the interim, there are moments when I feel like I just don't have the strength to do it . I know everyone has gone through this stuff, and there is nothing special or unique about what I am asking, but would love any support or feedback!