How do you deal with mess/clutter?

[otterjack]

Hi All,

Just wondering how other people are affected by clutter? Can you function in a messy environment? I realise that with M.E, often we have little choice as we have little enough energy as it is, let alone spare energy for cleaning! But do you find your mind functions better if the space you inhabit is organised, tidy?

I'm asking particularly as I've just come out of a relationship. My ex partner's home was rather cluttered and chaotic and I could feel my energy slipping away almost as soon as I entered the place. I think, as my brain fog can cause problems at the best of times, I can barely formulate thoughts in a messy environment.

Just curious as to other people's thoughts on clutter.

Thanks in advance )

 

[Mary]

@otterjack - I think clutter is draining. I feel more calm and relaxed in a clean, ordered environment, which unfortunately is not my house! (cannot keep it clean and ordered due to CFS, etc.)

One my sisters has an incredibly cluttered house and I can never really relax there - too much stuff everywhere!

I think this is true for most people, sick or well, but maybe hits us worse because we have no spare energy to waste dealing with messy environments.

 

[minkeygirl]

Clutter is very upsetting to me. Like @Mary said the chaos

I live alone so any clutter is mine but sometimes I just can't do anything about it.

I try to grab something If I'm going to another room and when I have energy I do what I can
Right now my bedroom is a mess but I can't manage to clean it.

Maybe if it's your own mess it'll be less upsetting.

 

[belize44]

I have a difficult time with clutter. It seems that I spend most of my limited energy trying to keep things neat and orderly because I find it draining even to have to look at it. My DH is a pack rat and very comfortable with clutter. He does help with chores, but seems to think leaving stuff lying around is perfectly fine. If I come into the kitchen and counter is cluttered, I often have to clear it first before I can fix my pot of tea or whatever. If the place gets too cluttered, I find that I am more tired and edgy than usual and even a little depressed.

One of the most freeing things that we have done lately is getting rid of a lot of stuff after our recent long distance move. The local thrift shops love us!

 

[otterjack]

Mary, yes that's exactly it - clutter is draining. Possibly particularly so for us as we have so little spare energy, like you say. It can take all our strength simply to function, so to have to wade through chaotic surroundings, mentally, can push us over the edge.

Minkygirl - it is hard when we're too exhausted to deal with our own clutter. I've been there and you just have to let it be. Yes, it's less problematic for me if it's my own clutter as at least I have an idea where everything is and where I'd start if I were to be able to tidy up, but in someone else's space, it's much harder.

belize44 - what you said about having to clear a counter before making tea - that's just what happened to me last week at my ex partners. It seems so ridiculous when he has so much counter space in a reasonable size kitchen to have to squeeze into a couple of square inches! When I came home , even though my place was relatively tidy, I went a bit OCD on it anyway...though my windows are still filthy and they may not get done this year!

 

[ahmo]

I've learned to live w/ a degree of chaos. I so want to dump so many things. It's a perfect time for a garage sale, but even thinking about it makes my arms hurt.

 

[Effi]

I'm like @ahmo . My focus is on ignoring it, or rather trying to accept the fact that there's always gonna be clutter. Unless it's in the kitchen when I have to prepare something. That never works well when the counters are cluttered.

 

[Tammy]

Don't do well with mess and clutter..........makes me uncomfortable...............which is why I have downsized to the very basics.............and I mean the very basics! I have never been keen on a lot of little knickknacks.......nothing wrong with them........just don't like to have to dust 101 different little things (when I do dust). If I feel like buying something different just for a change...........I will get rid of something else so I don't start to collect. I really don't have anything that I don't need.............well actually there are some things I probably keep around that I don't need to but I'll save those things for the next time my friend has yet another yard sale.

 

[SickOfSickness]

I'm used to it, but I wish I had friends to help me sort through, and I wish I had the money for shelves.

I'm trying to go through it myself, but it's not working. At this rate, it will take me the rest of my life.

 

[Toxed]

Once I got poisoned I found, to my surprise, that I have Aspergers. Its on the spectrum, but high functioning. When I'm Toxed Off My Ass (TOMA) I can't filter input. Everything from every one of my senses (except taste), including my emotional radar, bombards me all at once. So visually, auditory, aromatically, tactilely, emotionally, I need everything to be ordered, or calm. If not, I use too much energy to process it all. I can't eat or cook in a messy kitchen either. If I'm too tired to clean it, I don't eat.

 

[Snookum96]

I hate clutter and disorganization. I try to tidy where I can, it makes me really uncomfortable and I get overwhelmed.

Sometimes I just shove it in a cupboard until I feel up to it so even though I know it's there I don't have to look at it.

 

[Effi]

Sometimes I just shove it in a cupboard until I feel up to it so even though I know it's there I don't have to look at it.

And then six months later I open that cupboard and think: what is that thing doing here?

 

[otterjack]

Snookum96 - that's a tactic I've used often! And why not? As far as I'm concerned, it's still de-cluttering. It makes the space more relaxing, you're not constantly confronted with the mess, and you address the full to bursting cupboards as and when you feel up to it. Effi - yes, I do that! Find something I'd forgotten I had.

 

[otterjack]

Toxed - Do you mind me asking how you found out you have Aspergers? I think when we're already dealing with so much that the illness throws at us, we can't really cope with any unnecessary input. That's what I felt last week - it was simply too much to process. In the past, in his house, I would have started to make plans to clear and tidy (my ME is moderate and it's the Virgo in me!) but this time, because my mental health is so much worse, I just couldn't. And I though, what's the point? It will just deteriorate again when I leave.

 

[Toxed]

Several years ago my EI had me do a test (only done in the UK at the time) called a nitrotyrosine test. Heres a link about it, http://www.cellbiolabs.com/sites/default/files/STA-305-nitrotyrosine-elisa-kit.pdf Anyway, my results showed that I had "alzheimers, brain damage, and was "2 points above the autism diagnosis." I had a lot of symptoms of the others and I'd previously devolved into full blown, rocking, stimming, eye rolling, unable to communicate autism, right before my husbands eyes in the 20 minutes following taking a 1/4 dose of cipro. I no longer use any pharmaceuticals! Over the years I've read up on autism because it intertwines with so many of my conditions. Autism is a toxic injury. I became interested in the Aspergers category because I recognized so many of traits in my husband. i.e. In our 36 years together he has never spontaneously said "I love you." He has zero empathy. If you tell him a loved one dies, he goes right on with whatever's on his mind. Its not because he doesn't care, though. Its because he can't deal with it, and doesn't know what to do. I read some books on aspergers, I recognised MYSELF!!!! My EI confirmed yes, that what we both have, LOL read Aspergirls, http://www.amazon.com/Aspergirls-Em...=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=1849058261 and her other books. It was really empowering, and made feel much more comfortable in my skin. It helped me better utilized my strengths and weaknesses. It also helped me to understand my husband better.

 

[L'engle]

I have a real problem with clutter. I've been obsessively getting rid of things for the last few years and could do even more. All my family (most anyway) have the hoarding gene and it worries me. I've tried to clear some of the surfaces in my room, so at least when I look at them it is blank, not full of a thousand little things. It creeps up though, next thing there are clothes all over the room and dishes on the nightstand and there is nowhere for the eyes to rest without input.

It stresses me out more than it does my healthy relatives. It bothers them too but I think not in the same way. Also when I think about having to move my stuff, the idea of having tons of things that are too heavy to pick up bothers me. So I actually got rid of a lot of books and papers. The clothing doesn't bother me so much because it is not heavy and evaluating it doesn't require the cognitive drain of reading a piece of paper or book cover. Paper really stresses me out. I hate seeing piles of it or piles of receipts lying around. I avoid printing things out unless it is required for some reason.

 

[PNR2008]

OMG I could write volumes on this subject but just too damned tired after washing 2 loads of clothes, changing my bed, showering and still I just touch the surface but will be in bed for at least 2 days. This whole thing is a very bad dream.

 

[otterjack]

PNR2008 - well done with all that you've achieved. It is a bad dream at times. Rest, and I do hope you feel a bit better soon.

 

[Grigor]

Hmm nice topic.

I lovvvvvve a little clutter and mess . I don't do well when it's too clean and organized. I get a little stressed from it . So I need a little mess. It relaxes me . I love to photograph . Although I rarely do it because of obvious reasons . Half of my living room is a photo studio Really feel happy with it .

People do ask me how it's possible I don't get depressed with my M.E. And I always thought it did help that I am rather messy . I would really get frustrated if I needed my house to be clean and wouldn't be able to . I don't see the mess. Never did But can imagine how terribly annoying it must be not to be able to fix it when you really want to .

 

[Snookum96]

The weird thing is that I didn't care as much about clutter before I got sick. Now it drives me crazy.

One of my doctors once suggested it could be because since I got sick there is so little I can control in my life that I go a little overboard on the things I can control. I think that might be true.