Having to move

[Misfit Toy]

I came home from vacation, which was not easy...more on that in another thread and I walked into a mess in my apartment. I needed to have my tub done. There was paint chipping and I was going to have to be out of my apt. for 2 days, due to the toxins of redoing a tub. I was gone for a week with vacation, so I thought this would be a great thing to have done while gone. I came home and I walked into my apt and there was dust and soot everywhere. My tables, picture frames, everything was loaded with it. A photo that was in the bathroom was ruined and there were paint chips all over. They didn't put plastic down. My bathroom floor is half gray from the paint...they didn't cover it.

I went to bed and could barely sleep. I started sneezing and feeling awful. I woke up after 5 hours with my heart racing and found that I couldn't take a shower because there was no hot water coming out of my tub. They didn't turn it back on.

I had to hire a cleaner to come and clean. Seriously, you should have seen my apartment. One of the workers/maintenance people came over and said, "Oh, I am not cleaning up this. This is a mess and would take forever. They would have to pay me overtime."

I wrote a letter to the manager of the bldg explaining that I want to break my lease and move out this summer. I have had nothing but problems here and I can't take it anymore. Twice my heat has run at 90 degrees during the winter and it won't shut off and they will tell me to turn on the air and open windows until someone can come. One time I waited 4 days. I walked around in shorts in my apartment during 30 degree weather with 3 air conditioners running.

Because I always pay my rent on time and I have lived here 8 years, they are letting me break my lease. They are also paying for the cleaner than came and any broken damaged items I have. I sent them photos. I am deducting it from my rent.

Anyway, I am nervous. You know how it is to move. There is so much to do, pack up and more importantly, I need to find the RIGHT place. A place that is suitable for one with CFS. Now, that is a fear. Will I be ok? Will the new place be ok? What I want and need is too expensive and before anyone recommends I move out West and live in a tent to avoid mold...ugh. That's a whole other rant. I am not moving from where I know and feel comfortable. I need to stay put, as in around here.

I just came home from a vacation that was somewhat lousy. The person I went with doesn't believe that my illness is completely legit. She believes that it is mostly anxiety. She expected me to keep up with her and she was a total bitch when I didn't. I was shocked because I have let her know for months about how I am doing. She has acted so supportive. I actually did a good job in doing a lot. I give myself an A!!! I swam, drove 5 hours to TN with her. What the hell??

I am exhausted.

 

[JT1024]

I am sorry that you are going through so much. It rots because people really do not understand what an effort simple things are.

Wish I could say (or really DO) more that might help but I'm heading towards a major crash myself. ((Spitfire)).

Hope you find a new place to live that is healthy, safe, and comfortable.

 

[Misfit Toy]

Thank you, me too! It seems many of us are crashed.

 

[GracieJ]

Spitfire, so sorry. I truly hope you are able to find a new place and settle back down. In the last 6 1/2 years, I have had to move 13 times over various issues. The first few, I would just cry. By the end, I had it down to a science... and most of my stuff is gone, having sold it off for food money at times. Move 14 is coming up and is a happy one, but no furniture!! Makes me laugh. I am moving into a place with running water and a working water heater, an air conditioner, washer/dryer hook-ups, a dishwasher, a walk-in closet, etc. and could just scream for happiness. Have been talking to the staff about smoking policies, as I am soooo allergic to cigarette smoke, so very worried. I am trusting it is okay and I will have what is needed and will not have to flee AGAIN for mold, or animals, or landlords that steal, or bad roommates, or whatever.

Your story is way too familiar. I am glad you had a place for 8 years, and hope you can repeat that, with better luck this time around, no misbehaving heat or anything. Hold out for your "shopping list." As for the logistics... that is way too familiar as well. Here is hoping you have all the help you need to relocate to a new place.

 

[Misfit Toy]

I know. I need a 2 bedroom because I have a business and work from home. I want hardwood floors, and a 2nd floor apt, or the highest apartment so I don't have noise above me. Noise is huge for me. I want it not to be painted because I can't take the smell. I need a washer and dryer in the bldg. I don't want to have to go to a laundromat. The places that I am seeing online are expensive and they want you to pay for utilities and there is a washer dryer hook up. Bullcrap. I don't want to buy a washer and dryer. A lot of these places (apts) are the same cost as a mortgage on a house. It's crazy. Apartment living is for the birds unless you live in a very affluent place with all of the bells and whistles and pay a heap. They usually have good noise insulation, which I wish for. I can't afford to spend what they want.

I have thought of having a roommate at times, but no way. I can't handle anyone around me for too long and I am too sick to pretend.

 

[taniaaust1]

Best luck with the move.

Sorry to hear that your holiday didnt go well.

 

[GracieJ]

Having roommates is for the birds for sure with CFS. The labels... lol I was known as "the witch" at one place... until people sat down and talked with me, and found quickly I was a warm and loving human being who just happened to be quite ill. So glad you have abandoned thinking of a roommate. PLEASE don't ever go there, you need your space in way too many ways. I do not have roomies this time, and that is the best part, I think. Too many years spending energy keeping the peace over the dumbest things. It is worth the extra expense to be alone, IMO.

Your new home exists. It does. I will be cheering you on these next days.

 

[KiwiOz]

Spitfire - My heart goes out to you as i am looking to move out of my apt building due to noisy neighbours & trades men doing repairs etc in other flats. Noise for me is a big problem too. I have another floor above me & have learnt not to live in another unit block!. I didn't have CFS when i moved into my unit 4 & a half years ago.
I wish you all the very best in your search for another flat

 

[Misfit Toy]

Ugh for all of us. Kiwi, I wish you the best in your move. I feel like I have so many requirements. I remember when I was looking for an apt. when I was 24, all I cared about was having my own place. I had furniture from people's trash! Or from crappy consignment stores. I had carpeting, it was painted right when I moved in and carpeting didn't bother me. Now, at almost 42...my sensitivities are so much worse.

This disease really makes me feel like a freak anymore, but whatever. If Marilyn Manson or Ziggy Stardust were popular and freaks, then I will be one too! Perhaps not popular.

 

[KiwiOz]

Thank U Yeah i feel like i have a lot of requirements in another flat too & so far i haven't had much luck in finding what i want, in the right area & at the right price! it appears that a lot of rentals are in unit blocks & i am looking for a single story unit. Fingers crossed we both get something we want ... & soon!!

 

[Misfit Toy]

Yes, I have thought about that too. Right now, I have no one next to me, just under me. The noise isn't the issue for me here. I fear any kind of high rise for that very reason. You have people on all sides of you. I am looking for a house probably. Like a duplex with a 2nd floor. Here's to both of us.

My superintendent is the laziest super I have ever had and he is never here. He is married and yet flirts with me all of the time. Not anymore, because I have acted completely aggressive with him and screamed at him like no tomorrow. I can't stand him.

 

[KiwiOz]

Yeah you are right to fear a high rise - i am on the 3rd floor of a 4 story block, 20 units in total. Never again & my ability
to handle the noise has gotten worse since i got CFS 3 years ago.

 

[SickOfSickness]

Yes rents are high now and most places are not going to be quiet and chemical free. If you find a good place with hookups, I wouldn't worry about the washer and dryer. You can get used w&d delivered for $200 or less, and when you are done, sell them for nearly what you paid, and make the buyer pick up. IMO it is too hard to find a place with everything. There is competition for good places in most areas. It is good you are shopping now and not in the fall. If you can get something soon.

 

[sianrecovery]

I think one of the most tiring things about this disease is having to assess and reassess the one place that should feel safe - home. I am currently in a similar process. I would happily settle for 'good enough' rather than perfect, as I am sure you would. With you on the holiday - I went away with a close, long term friend and couldnt stay in the uber moldy place she booked (even the sheets were mildewed!) and she was very sniffy about the whole thing. I think I had held on to the friendship out of habit, and history, and because getting out there and making new best friends isnt easy for us. But I decided to draw a line, and emailed her how I felt, and told her I wanted 'a break'. I feel freer for it.
Hope you find a lovely, light, safe, quiet home xxxxx

 

[Misfit Toy]

More on the whole vacation mess in a bit. The best vacations for me, are ones that are alone. No need to explain and all the rest.