Discussion in 'Institute of Medicine (IOM) Government Contract' started by Nielk, Jan 22, 2014.
This is my draft of the letter I am planning on sending in.
Gabby, excellent letter! Thank you.
One paragraph was confusing; "You might think why is this information relevant to me? The study is proceeding as contracted by HHS and I have been chosen as a panel member to contribute to this study to the best of my abilities."
Can I suggest changing this to -you- and -your- I spent some time wondering how I had failed to pick up on the fact that you were on the panel.
Perhaps it was just me and my woolly brain just now. I do see what you are saying.... it just interrupted the flow of what you were saying. The message is good...
I felt like it was strange when I was writing it. I was kind of continuing with the idea of you might be thinking that.....
I guess it sounds confusing though.
Thank you, @Keela Too
Great letter Gabby.
If it was my submission, I would add a clarification: that 'ME' should be separated from 'chronic fatigue' and 'CFS'.
(That would be my own approach, but you might not agree.)
My take on Bob's subject- "CFS" should be retired, not allowed to exist independent of ME.
Just a suggestion on the point Keela made, maybe inserting a colon after think and capitalize the W in Why would help with clarity. It would then read:
"You might think: Why is this information relevant to me? The study is proceeding as contracted by HHS and I have been chosen as a panel member to contribute to this study to the best of myabilities."
You can also try a Google Site Search
Separate names with a comma.