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Gabby's written comments to the IoM - first meeting

Discussion in 'Institute of Medicine (IOM) Government Contract' started by Nielk, Jan 22, 2014.

  1. Nielk

    Nielk

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    This is my draft of the letter I am planning on sending in.

     
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  2. justinreilly

    justinreilly Senior Member

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    Gabby, excellent letter! Thank you.
     
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  3. Keela Too

    Keela Too Sally Burch

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    One paragraph was confusing; "You might think why is this information relevant to me? The study is proceeding as contracted by HHS and I have been chosen as a panel member to contribute to this study to the best of my abilities."

    Can I suggest changing this to -you- and -your- I spent some time wondering how I had failed to pick up on the fact that you were on the panel. ;)
     
  4. Keela Too

    Keela Too Sally Burch

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    Perhaps it was just me and my woolly brain just now. I do see what you are saying.... it just interrupted the flow of what you were saying. The message is good... :D
     
  5. Nielk

    Nielk

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    o_O

    I felt like it was strange when I was writing it. I was kind of continuing with the idea of you might be thinking that.....
    I guess it sounds confusing though.
    Thank you, @Keela Too
     
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  6. Bob

    Bob

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    Great letter Gabby.

    If it was my submission, I would add a clarification: that 'ME' should be separated from 'chronic fatigue' and 'CFS'.

    (That would be my own approach, but you might not agree.)
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2014
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  7. justinreilly

    justinreilly Senior Member

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    My take on Bob's subject- "CFS" should be retired, not allowed to exist independent of ME.

    Just a suggestion on the point Keela made, maybe inserting a colon after think and capitalize the W in Why would help with clarity. It would then read:

    "You might think: Why is this information relevant to me? The study is proceeding as contracted by HHS and I have been chosen as a panel member to contribute to this study to the best of myabilities."
     
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