Thank you Island Finn, CJB, lisag and Kim. I knew if I waited long enough my sentiments would be expressed much better than I could at the moment. As a part of this forum with some strong feelings about this, it was difficult/impossible for me to employ my often useful and effective "ignore and detach" strategy. Thanks again, I feel like I can rest easy and let this go now. Lily ETA: Sorry that didn't all get copied the way I wanted, but I don't have the energy to fix it.