I think it does make sense that you feel like you have died. I think it might be good to say good bye to your old life and try to accept your (our) new reality. It takes time, but I think this will be better for you in the long run (physically and emotionally). Good for you for getting some professional help, I have done that on a few occasions. GG PS I have been sick since 2003, but luckily I can still work part time, but I have still suffered lots of losses in these few years.