Hi Wayne--Me too. I appreciate your soothing and uplifting posts. Though I have to say that gratitude would be quite challenging under the circumstances where family members are wanting you to "institutionalize yourself or just commit suicide already." That's just incredibly cruel. When people's hearts are closed, expressing gratitude towards them is not always effective, and can make one vulnerable to further attacks from them. In my attempts to communicate in an appreciative open way with angry family members, I often felt like I was like reaching out my hand to to feed a wounded tasmanian devil... and I inevitably felt the sting of their teeth sinking into my flesh. It used to shock me how much rage would be directed at me in those moments, when my intention was merely to connect on a more human feeling level. I understand now that being kind to someone who is overflowing with hatred, and self-hatred, is a button pusher. It brings up all their unresolved pain, and those people who are in deep denial about their festering pain can express that pain only as rage. If I was a Buddha, I would probably know exactly how to deflect those kind of angry responses being flung at me in such hostile ways, and not take any of them personally, and let them roll off my duck-like back. But alas, I have not yet reached such a level of enlightenment, so my best option was to just get the hell away and stay away. When things get that bad, letting go is the most sane option. It's hard to be sick and alone, but it's worse to be connected to people who have nothing but resentment and anger to offer you. When I gave up on the abusive people in my life, I began to attract kinder ones, probably because I finally knew how to recognize them, and also because there was ROOM for them, once the dramas that had occupied so much of my existence had come to an end. I wish that for you, Zoe... that you find some peace in the letting go, and that it brings you what you really need.