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exhausted from shopping...hate crowds : (

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by hurtingallthetimet, Mar 30, 2012.

  1. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    i had to get grocerys and easter shopping done thankfully one fo my kids didnt have class or work and went and helped with lifting etc..but i am sooooo worn out from it..it was rather busy too i guess from others easter shopping, i hate the crowds..the social anxiety makes it worse...its amazing how just doing shopping wipes me out...i see others some very old and feel badly for them..its hard when you have to do things even though you dont feel like it..hoping someday soon affordable delivery of grocerys to where i live will come...

    my daughter had went to get something and i was waiting..there is one bench in the walmart and i was almost to it..when a guy got to it and sat down right in the middle there was no room on either side of him to sit..i always sit as far on end as i can to be curtious to others so they can sit...i just stood and leaned on buggy..i couldnt bring myself to ask him to move though i really wanted to sit down..its funny the last time in a doctors office i got stuck by a talkey man...i was really embarassed he was loud and talked a mile a minute i dont know if he was high on something or hyper..but considering we were at specialist for back youd htink hed be in as much pain as me and shut up...he told me his life story how he met his wife online from austrila and how hed been in two car accidents in like a day or so..and ask me if id been in one and if so how much i got etc...it was weird..then the worse part was him saying he home schools his kids and to teach them the "right" things as he put it that shcools dont such as "the truth about slavary and the schools dont tell the truth" i about died...there were pepople of all colors around us and they heard him and one lady rolled her eyes and laughed..

    i was so afraid somone would think i actually knew him..i started to just answer yes, no and agree with the less embarassing stuff hoping hed shut up...he even got out his phone showing me pictures of his kids which i couldnt see but told him they were beautiful so hed be quite...i tried not talking...i tried agreeing..i tried to change subjects...i was so relieved when they finally called me back..why cant i get stuck by a nice talkey person lol...

    today after shopping i ended up laying down for sevearl hours..i couldnt sleep though dead tired...at least i got the kids easter stuff..that makes me feel like all the exhuasution was worth it but im so sore now from it all...

    hope everyone has a great weekend..
  2. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Maybe he doesn't get out much and is lonely :( But yeah, I hate that too. When they start talking about strange and offensive and boring things. I would just get more rude about it, if I was tired of this person. Once they say something like that, they deserve it. I would just start reading a magazine and barely responding. I don't have the energy to spare on someone.

    I hope you get some good rest.
  3. Valentijn

    Valentijn Activity Level: 3

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    Your exhaustion and needing to sit/lie down sounds like orthostatic intolerance (OI). This is a part of the disease that can be tested and treated (though not always successfully). It also causes me "anxiety" when I'm upright too long, but it's a very physical thing for me, not mental or emotional, except to the extent that I'm upset at feeling so crappy and unable to sit down.

    Grocery shopping is one of the most difficult things to do with OI. There's a lot of standing around, which is even worse than slowly walking, making it even harder to keep blood moving properly. I don't think OI should be pushed through any more than PEM should be, but at least with OI we get faster and clearer signs that we need to stop.
    taniaaust1 and ahimsa like this.
  4. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thanks for the replies...sickofsickness {think ive told you on threads or blogs of yours already} but i love your kitty picutre its so cute..is that your kitty? i tried reading magazines...i tried agreeing as i said to the less offensive things, tried saying yes and no tried not talking...nothing worked.. he may have been lonely and im bad to try to be nice to pepole even if they are driving me nuts because i feel sorry for them..but it was just really really weird..and the offensive things he said were embarassing and loud...its as if he went out of his way to talk very very loud, talk fast to overpower the conversation and too make me uncomfortable..made me very very uneasy and nervous..and it was draining i was so mad at my husband for getting uip to take phone call and leaving open chair for the quacky talkey guy to sit by me...i really felt harassed in an odd way..

    valentijn i dont think {at least i cant remember but my short term memory is shot} i cant remember ever hearing anyone talk OI before..really not sure what that is...like most im not well off enough to have a butler or maid to run errands..i dont live near extended family...and i have to get shopping done fro family...go to appointments etc. etc. and it is very very tiring...im still weak from yesterday...and exhausted...as i said though it made me feel good getting kids easter stuff i love doing things for them..

    i always think of my poor aunt when i go shopping...she lives alone far from me and i try to talk to her once a day..though as crazy as it may sound im exhausted just from talking on phone everyday...but she has alot of helath problems and goes shopping by herself lifting and pushing buggy...i figure if she can do i can...just isnt normal though i dont think to so exhuasted and sore from doing something...
  5. Valentijn

    Valentijn Activity Level: 3

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    Orthostatic intolerance means your body malfunctions when you stand up. With one type this happens immediately, and with the other type it can be delayed by 20 minutes or more. Basically your blood pressure is probably dropping too far for you too remain easily upright. This results in exhaustion.

    I don't have a butler either, but I do have a fiance that can take care of grocery shopping, now that I literally cannot do it. Most grocery stores also deliver now, for a few dollars extra.

    She may be old and sick, but she doesn't have ME. You do. We have unique problems that make us far more limited than even most elderly people, and it's pointless to compare ourselves to others when deciding what we "should" be able to do if we just suck it up and suffer through the OI and PEM. Doing this will almost certainly make you worse, and it won't alter the reality of the situation.
    taniaaust1 and ahimsa like this.
  6. Sushi

    Sushi Moderator and Senior Member Albuquerque

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    Hurting,

    Do read up about OI. It is very common among us and there are some pretty cheap and simple things you can do to help it...if not cure it. Stuff like ultra hydration with low or no sugar electrolyte drinks, licorice tablets, extra salt.

    Amongst this group, you will find a lot of experience with it--including just plain old sitting down on the floor in a store! I had a doctor tell me to do that anytime I really felt bad standing. (He also had OI and said he had sat down on the floor of the grocery store many times.)

    You can also get "cane-seats"--canes that fold out into a seat. Many carry one of these if they know they have to be on their feet. Then there are compression garments to push the blood back up to the head and heart. Lots of choices there. I use some great, cotton knee socks from Italy but many use thigh-high or full panty-hose types. These make a big difference.

    I wear a heart rate monitor a lot and have found that if my heart rate gets too high from the exertion of moving around, a quick squat will lower it 20 points in seconds. You can feel big relief from that.

    Best wishes,
    Sushi
    taniaaust1 and ahimsa like this.
  7. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Hi. Thanks, it's a pic I found online because I wanted to show a cute cat that was "sick of sickness" :)

    I know what you mean, I would be pissed too if boyfriend/friend left me and I got stuck with a bad conversation.

    I hate going out too, where I have to walk or stand in line, because of being more tired that day, and the next day. Driving also tires me.

    If I go out once a week, then it takes longer to do my errands. It's a pain going out 2 or 3 times, but if I keep the walking and standing amount lower, it helps. It depends on how much it adds to the driving. If I am driving to the city, then I have to get as much done in that day, so I push myself :(

    I think I have OI a little but it's also myalgias and muscle weakness and allergies.

    There is one grocery store I go to where one dept always smells strongly of cleaning chemicals. I need to not even walk through that dept anymore, it is so ick. Also smelling perfume or cigarette smoke on people, or the air fresheners or cleaning chemicals for sale.

    I try and buy everything online if I can, except when it needs to be fresh or refrigerated or frozen. It doesn't bother me to spend time on the computer. To get everything I want, I have to buy from a few different sites. I can usually save a little bit online too, and it reduces the amount of time in the store. If you don't have to half of the aisles anymore.

    One thing I never tried but I heard about is some stores will shop for you, and you pick up the groceries at the curb! I'm sure they would even load the bags in the car.

    Also if you are brave enough to try the motorized carts to drive around the store?

    If I had a little more money, I would hire someone to do some errands like grocery shopping. A lot of people need extra side jobs and I think I could find someone to do it for only $15-20 a week because it would not take them long. (I am only shopping for me and cats.) It may be worth paying more ($25-30) to use a more reputable service but it's just fetching some food from a store or two. I heard some women who do this will also provide their own coupons and save you money at the store. So if they save you $5 in coupons, it's like you only paid them $10-15.

    I usually get so tired from talking on the phone too :(
  8. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Yes, don't compare yourself. ME is really bad and it's crap that it's invisible.
    ahimsa likes this.
  9. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
    thanks for the replies and the info i will talk to doctor...im always tired in pain and exhuasted after doing shopping or whatever...just so hard...i hurt the whole time im in store and then i dread the carsh that alawys comes...they dont deliver grocerys in my area...i had checked at walmart and looked on line for any stores..walmart just said they dong have it in my area at the time..but hoping someday it will be and will be afforadable

    i have took peoples advice on the supprot groups im on and stoped loading the buggy so full i can barely push..im still working on the speed walking..its a nervous reaction thing...i dont notice it unitl im by someone and it looks like im racing them...because i know the soreness and pain and exhuastion will be worse later...also i dont go as much i use to break it down get as much as possible each trip..over do it...but still need to go back sometimes twice a month..now hubby does most thankfully and he understands...i feel bad putting more on him and kids but im at point im getting worse and cant help it..

    im not brave enough to use the electric scooter...because i look fine and normal and ive heard stories on support groups im on of people actually being confronted for having handicap sign but look so normal...its said any other diease that is invisible and just as debilitating as what we have gets support, understanding sympathy...we get nothing...its like we are expected to lay in bed 24/7 and not force our selfs to do what we have to such as get grocerys for kids...shopping..etc...unless someone with our illness is comatose its like its nothing...i really hate that..i had mentioned about overhearing some people talk about a person who looked fine and parked in handicap they had the sticker...it made me sick to stomach..yes the person looked healthy and normal but who knows what they go through...its not easy loading up a buggy full of food and supplies for you family and pushing it through a store..then to have to unlaod and throw in car...for me the whole time im hurring like a mad rabbitt to get in and out because of the social phobias..

    it takes alot of strength and courage to live like we do and then to get spit in the face for being ill...sorry to vent just talking about the scooter brought up the feelings of how ive been treated and others just for being sick..its sad...

    im tired of being sick...my days are all same..wake up lucky if sleep 5 hours straight...wake up stiff...lay there...dread brushing teeth...hate when have to bath to exhasting..if i have appointment for me or kids and i have to drive or if i go shoping for grocerys...only things i do.. i do less than i use to a year or so ago becuase i keep getting ill...but i pushed myself because it was last of things i had control over to help family..
    i cry and dread for week or more ahead if i have to drive to wheerver...grocrerys shopping i run in fast as i can...hurting all over...feel dizzy from panic...run out as fast as i can and run home to take morphine...
    i did go to a few garage sales at conselour suggestion to do something i use to love...hurt afterwards...the same painci and paranoia....oh forgot i took several walks with daughter after taking morphine..if i do housework its do some lay down do some lay down etc...i feel dead all the time..

    if people could walk a day in our shoes they may be amazed at how brave we are to just get out of bed...ive felt dizzy standing like im going to pass out..one doctor told me vertigo gave me medicaitons i took it a few times...another said inner ear...and another took bp laying sitting and standing and said dehydration and gave iv fluids...so i dont know about the oi i will ask doctor...

    my life is no longer fun...i dont see how my hubby stands me...but thank God he does...
  10. Valentijn

    Valentijn Activity Level: 3

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    I'm glad you're going to ask about it. It's pretty common in ME, but rare generally with vague symptoms, which makes it difficult for doctors and patients to figure out what's actually causing them to feel so crappy.

    I think you should try the electric scooter while you can, maybe with a friend or family member for moral support. I never did, and now I'm at the point where I can't even sit up at home, but have to lie down all day.

    My biggest regret right now is that I didn't get a wheelchair as soon as I was feeling too crappy to handle shopping. I could've been going out and doing more things, or at least suffering fewer symptoms on the rare occasions that I did go out.

    It's also possible that the little bit that I did push myself, such as going to doctor appointments, caused my OI to worsen. Maybe I could've avoided that if I'd hopped into a wheelchair while it was still an option.
  11. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    The truth of the matter is that most of us who have used a scooter, have found that people are often actually better towards us since we are in a scooter. Ive used scooters on a few occassions when out and I havent even got a dirty look from anyone.

    That sounds like OI.. could be POTS or NMH. Till you are getting whatever is causing the OI treated, you may be unnecessarily suffering from some symptoms which could be helped a bit if the OI wasnt being missed. Even some of your anxiety symptoms may be being caused by the OI.

    I was refered and got fitted for medical stockings last week due to the OI/POTS.... and they are really helping me quite a bit. I went to the library a couple of days ago without the head pressure and dizziness building up as they were helping the blood get to my brain better. It was so nice to actually go to the library without symptoms building up for a change.
  12. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    I heard the bad stories of handicap parking for people with invisible illness. But scooters are different like Tania said. And even if you got one bad look each time, it's their problem being judgemental or uneducated. It's worth it to feel better for hours.

    If you have a KMart in your area, they do online ordering of groceries, and you pick up. It looks like Harris Teeter does on the east coast and 4 Meijer locations.
    Googsta likes this.
  13. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thanks for the info and advice...i dont live near a kmart or any of the other stores you mentioned but hopeing someday soon a store will deliver in my area and be affordable..

    i need to go get prescriptions and been dreading it all week...as i siad i have been taking the advice of others i dont load buggy so full i can barely push anymore just so to not have to go back anytime soon and as much as i hated it hubby does most of shopping now..

    its sad that so many have seen or heard stories of people with invisible illness being treated badly....no one knows what is going on in someoenes else life and to treat others badly is just cruel..

    i dont try to explain to my extended family any more how sick i am....if they had a crystal ball they would see me getting grocerys/shopping for family sometimes...yes i do get in hurry and race around becasue of nervers but trying to stop that too...theyed see me doing some little houese work and sitting down and laying down in between...hmmmm...maybe see me take a walk iwth daughter...and i went to a few garage sales at conselour telling me to do something i use to love...

    but also what they would see is me crying before and after going or doing anyting...see me crashing every single time i do anything..see me taking pain medicatoins and anxiety medications...on couch majority of time or in bed...taking morphine to just make it through another painful exhuasting day..its not living...so i really wish others would just treat others with compassion and understanding...i feel sorry for those who park in handicap with invisible illness and get treated badly..anyone with any sense would know they wouldnt have a sticker if they werent sick...
  14. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    does anyone go to yard sales to shop? i use to love them, had stopped for along time, conselour suggested i do something i use to lvoe so i went to some...wiped out after and next day but did buy kids some stuff...one of my kids needs jeans has grown out of theirs and i was thinking of going to yard sales to buy...hundereds times cheaper...but its hit or miss with finding what your looking for..

    wondering any ideas on shoppping at garage sales for things you need?
  15. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Garage sales are too hit or miss for me, unless the ad says sizes and details of the clothing. If so, I still find misses because people will put excellent condition on something that is not. I went to one sale where the seller wrote she had lots of name brand excellent condition clothing, and at the sale she had no clothing out! She had not gotten to it yet. Luckily I did not go for clothing, but I did not find much else.

    A thrift store is better for clothing and common items. The average store in my area must have over 400 pairs of jeans. The ones with clear size labels or sorted by size are nice, but more expensive.
  16. Valentijn

    Valentijn Activity Level: 3

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    Yeah, thrift stores are great. They usually reject any obviously damaged clothing, and a lot of people get rid of things that don't fit or they don't like, so there's often some brand-new options. Plus you get to try them on, which usually isn't an option at the garage sales!
  17. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Yes, trying on is another great reason. Also most stores I go to will take an exchange, if you didn't try it on or changed your mind.
  18. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thanks for ideas i have been to thrift stores but yard sales are so much cheaper...i didnt feel like going today as i had hoped...had a bad last night not much sleep...and then had to pick up prescriptions which i didnt want to pick up but had too...so i am worn out...

    its funny someone cant remember who had mentioend how the world seems to change so much from the time they get out and its the same with me...i hate crowds and it seems the area grows up more and more so tired of it..i panic in traffic...and i can tell a big difference from 6 months to year or so in my healh harder to get out etc....its starteling to not get out much and when you do so much changes...so much growth, busy, traffic..

    im wiped out though..hopefully i will at least maybe sleep some better tonight
  19. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Yard sales are too hit and miss for me.. a lot of effort would have to be put into going to many (which wouldnt be worth it health wise to me) just to find the clothing you are after.

    I suggest to you to try freecycle. Ive got things Ive really wanted throu freecycle on occassions and everything is free (I got an excellent, good brand free washing machine throu there one time). http://www.freecycle.org/ You can ask there for exactly what you want someone to give you too.

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