Hi PokerPlayer, it's funny what you say about D3 and MB12, because those absolutely waste me. But we're all different, not to mention these things change with time. Unfortunately in my case it's always for the worse. It would be interesting to compare illness details to see if there are common features along with this manifestation. For instance, from what I've read, it seems pronounced excitotoxicity is more common in those with gradual onset. Recently I've been communicating with another member on our forum here who's dealing with this too. His problems started literally overnight while trying to treat KPU with large doses of zinc and B6. I'd tried this protocol as well some time before my excitotoxicity began, though I can't say how close to my ET onset this was. I remember reading in Cort's story that it was large doses of zinc that he first realized were giving him that unsustainable energy. Though he doesn't describe this aspect of his illness as excitotoxicity, his symptoms are remarkably like mine: for the first few hours I feel much calmer and more clearheaded, then I get speedy, and then things really start to go off, then I get sweaty feet (that's an odd one). He also had his amalgams out a short while before it started, which was also the case with me. Maybe there's something to the zinc, or it has something to do with mercury mobilization; amalgam removal or the KPU protocol would to exactly this. The connection to depression, in my experience, has always been a sort of rebound. If I better my mood with evening primrose oil, meditation, earthing, homeopathy, or whatever, it's exactly that system that gets reversed, or so it feels. As if there's an energy problem within the cell and anything threatening it will be specifically resisted. When you stop the offending substance or activity you go down fast and hard in precisely the same way you were up. I have found myself in suicidal mode after such experiments, (evening primrose oil being the worst) and I'm not at all prone to serious depression. Sounds like you might have this one in spades. It's a good idea to have a routine to employ for gaining perspective in such times. Pushing through with meditation sounds scary. I've done three days and my symptoms were getting rather horrendous; hardcore twitching in the arms and legs, arrhythmia, and then when I stop, a serious crash. Do you know anyone for whom this has worked and gone on to improve?