Lipkin's Monster ME/CFS Study: Microbes, Immunity & Big Data
The Microbe Discovery Project outlines an ambitious new study by top researchers that has collected patient samples, but needs desperately funds to complete the work.
Discuss the article on the Forums.

EEOC anyone?

Discussion in 'Finances, Work, and Disability' started by Hugocfs, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. Hugocfs

    Hugocfs Senior Member

    Messages:
    119
    Likes:
    114
    U.S.A.
    I returned to work part-time (2 hours per day) on November 1, 2013 and started 8 hours days on January 31st. Since then I have been gradually improving for which I feel truly blessed. However, little did I know the degree of hostility I would be facing at this point.

    When my star fell at work and I had to stop working, the stars of a husband and a wife at my place of employment rose in my stead. Even prior to my return to work, the hostility was starting. The husband said to at least one employee that he thought my boss's decision to let me return to work was wrong. There would be "too many cooks in the kitchen."

    Over the months as I began feeling better, the level of hostility has increased in direct proportion. The worst thing that has happened is that in October someone went through my briefcase on the only day I brought my bank statement and checkbook to work. Of course, I was upset at myself for being so trusting. A couple of weeks later another employee told me that the husband was unsympathetic. I asked what did that mean, not quite sure what the response was going to be since I wasn't exactly sympathetic towards myself. He told me that the husband said that he thought I was schizophrenic! I know I am not that because I never received that diagnosis, lol. I had to look it up on Wikipedia to find out precisely what he meant.

    Fortunately, these two individuals are willing to back up their accounts of what was said by the husband. Plus the husband has made a discrediting statement to my boss which he knows was incorrect, and I have some very hostile memos and emails from the wife. Also, I finally got my boss to concede that they clearly have an agenda. Up to this point, my boss has done nothing. But we are going to have a meeting probably next Monday when my boss is back in town. I am really dreading having to face both of them at once. I am thinking of trying to talk my boss into meeting with them one at a time rather than having a two-on-one situation. (And hopefully catching them in a lie in the process too.) Or else calling the whole thing off and getting an EEOC mediator involved. I have little confidence that my boss will give me much support in spite of him agreeing that they have an agenda. Generally his philosophy is that he doesn't care much if the employees are fighting as long as the work gets done. Plus I have heard the phrase "There are two sides to every story." come from his mouth too many times.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation after returning to work? Or has anyone had to call on the EEOC to mediate? Help! I have been having an anxiety attack for the last 12 hours. (There was another confrontation first thing this morning.)

    Btw, I think their agenda is to make life so stressful for me at work that I leave one way or another. And it is working. Bonus time is around March 1 and I am seriously considering hitting the send button on my resume as soon as the check clears. I would hate to leave after putting in 25+ years at the same place, but I can't take this much stress almost every day.

    Ps. The husband also said to 3 people at work that he knows my diagnosis since he figured it out on internet. And to think that I hired him 16 years ago. Backstabbing s.o.b. I was always on good terms with both of them prior my going out on disability. Clearly, their creation of a hostile work environment for me is related to my disability, which is against the law.
     
  2. minkeygirl

    minkeygirl But I Look So Good.

    Messages:
    4,678
    Likes:
    4,647
    Left Coast
    They hate you so much. I bet their little brother hates you.

    I'd get a mediator and even if you end up leaving, make as much trouble as you can.
     
  3. WillowJ

    WillowJ คภภเє ɠรค๓թєl

    Messages:
    3,763
    Likes:
    4,843
    WA, USA
    Sorry things are so rough. I don't have any advice, but it's nice to see you, and I hope things work out ok. I'm glad you're feeling better and I hope you are able to figure something out about work. It's really hard to be in any kind of place where you feel unwelcome.
     
  4. maryb

    maryb iherb code TAK122

    Messages:
    3,511
    Likes:
    3,096
    UK
    Of course you need someone in with you. And why should they be brought in as a couple they are individuals? make it very very clear that would not be acceptable, better you go through 2 meetings than one with them both there. In fact ask for 2 meetings, set the agenda ball rolling yourself.
    It does sound so stressful and maybe an exit in March would be the best thing, but I would let these 2 horrible ba***ds squirm a little, and who knows they may well show their true colours and get the push themselves. No-one is indispensable. Good luck and so glad to hear you've improved so much. Life does teach you though there are very few people you can trust, I'm older and far more cynical, unfortunately I've learnt these lessons on the way. Don't let stress push you back into bad health though please.
     
  5. Hugocfs

    Hugocfs Senior Member

    Messages:
    119
    Likes:
    114
    U.S.A.
    @minkeygirl I bet their little brother does hate me so much too.

    @WillowJ Thanks for the kind sentiments.

    @maryb I'll talk to my boss today when he calls in and insist on separate meetings. And today I will write bullet points on what needs to be discussed with them individually plus compile all of the evidence I have. If the meetings go horribly or if the outcome is not satisfactory, I will contact the EEOC then. And be prepared to start my job search around March 1.

    I know what you mean about not being able to trust many people. I had a revelation a couple of months ago. I finally realize why old people get so cranky. They just plain get tired of putting up with other peoples' $#IT after so many years.

    I don't think the stress will set me back ... or at least I hope so. Yesterday in spite of all of the extra adrenaline, I had one of my better days physically. I was on my feet over 7 hours and got a lot done.

    @all Thanks so much for your support and advice.
     
    maryb likes this.
  6. AbbyDear

    AbbyDear

    Messages:
    97
    Likes:
    42
    usa
    hey hugo, ya makes things even worse when you gotta put up with crap from others, specially when job is a stake (?), or even just the workplace environment/stress.

    For me, the FMLA leave was the kiss of death. After that, the company, HR, dept. manager, etc. was out to get rid of me... even to report frivolous things. I think you are lucky your manager is on your side, at least to some degree.

    I too had things stolen from my cube (100% not misplaced). My boss downgraded me in a meeting in front of my peers...

    Peoples opinion and/or jealousy seems to creep into the workplace. I know for me, many feel they are 'superior' and put others down. Respect went out the window, which I feel is necessary for a well run, well functioning business. Not sure why, or the motivation, but I suspect in many instances it is money - maybe they think of us as a draw on their profit sharing (even though we put in the time and effort for which we are paid, and work under difficult circumstance). Not thinking things through of course, but a reduction in hours probably resulted in less salary and actually saving them money. The bottom line is that compassion is hard to find when money and business are involved. Life isn't fair, not only do we have to deal with the illness, we have to figure how to survive in spite of it.
     
  7. Hugocfs

    Hugocfs Senior Member

    Messages:
    119
    Likes:
    114
    U.S.A.
    Abbydear,

    Everything you write is so spot on. It's almost like humans have this animalistic tendency to attack the weak one in their own herd. I don't get it. To me, it is just reprehensible and unforgivable.

    Fortunately nothing was stolen from me except information (take home pay for both me and my wife, checking and savings balances, and details of a major purchase made). After spending an hour outside, I came back into my office to find my briefcase was moved and checkbook with bank statement were slanted up at 45 degrees. Whoever did it wanted me to know my information was compromised. Being that this was the only day I brought my financial info to work, it is obvious to me that someone was going through my things on a regular basis. Needless to say I drove immediately to the credit union and closed out those accounts. And now I lock up not only much lunch but also my newer and smaller briefcase.

    I hope you are making some progress in recovering. It is a very slow process but possible.

    In the meantime, have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I will pray for you tonight.
     

See more popular forum discussions.

Share This Page