Rarely do people talk about money. It's taboo to bring up worries about it. Many people don't want to admit that it's a real issue. I was just diagnosed officially by a cardiologist with POTS. I also have MCAS. All of the medications I am taking costs a fortune. I am going to throw this out there knowing full well I may be looked down at. I am not sure if I could continue on if I was broke, homeless and sick. To me, that is a fate worse than death. To struggle with that added burden when you are already so sick is just too much for me to handle. I recently went off of FB due to a woman who friended me showing what her life is like living in a van. She didn't qualify for SSD. She is so sick and she is homeless. We know those people. Many have this illness. No matter where she turns, she can't receive help. FB became so depressing to me with so much sorrow and sadness, I deactivated my account due to the anxiety it was causing. I would watch her videos of her in her van and cry for her and for anyone in this situation and have absolute panic about it. I admittedly couldn't handle it. I would scroll down and then a friend of mine would be in Hawaii after watching a homeless woman. I couldn't take it. Two opposing situations and it's not fair. To see someone have their life so hard followed by someone in Maui...I couldn't deal. I have wanted to move to a different less expensive apartment, but I am finding them hard to find where I live. The issue with money is a real issue for me. I own only one thing; my car. Oh, and myself and clothes. Work has pretty much ceased. I finally made a necklace after 2 months of not being able to function. I am eating only 9 safe foods right now due to MCAS. I am not so sure I am going to return to work this fall as I am far too sick and my doctor's do not think it's a good idea. Honestly, I don't see how I could. I am officially in menopause and I feel like the light has turned off. I am so depressed. I have calmed down the vicious night sweats due to progesterone cream, thank God. I am worried incessantly to a crippling degree about finances. I told a friend tonight that I would rather end my life then to go into poverty and be sick. I live outside of a major city. The housing or HUD or any of that doesn't usually have places that are nice around here. I can't find others who are dealing with the same fears as most of my friends who are ill live in a country where they are taken care of due to socialized medicine, or most of my friends are married and have husbands, or live with a parent. I am single and on my own. All of this has me really anxious and obsessed. My therapist tells me to not worry, but honestly she doesn't know much about what you do when you are poor. She has no patients who are broke, or on Medicaid, etc. I really like my therapist, but here was her idea on what I should do if I don't have a car in the future, "Uber it." In which I asked her, "You know Uber isn't free, right?" She doesn't get it. Does money trouble anyone else? Does it affect your illness? I am having a hard time getting a grip. I am thinking of relocating at some point to a different state that is less expensive. The problem with that is, the good docs are here. They are right here and when you move someone less expensive, you don't always have the luxury of good medical care. It's also a fact even if you have some money, you eventually will run out of it. I am only 46, any money I have will not last me too long and there will be nothing for when I am old. Who knows if Medicaid will even be around in the future in case I needed it. Not with how things are going.