Depression? Adrenal Fatigue?...not sure.

I see. That's really rough to be that sensitive, I can definitely relate.

If you've gone to Clymer I assume they've done an ASI, then. Can you post the results, along with any other relevant labs you might have?

I had it done in 2009, so I have to have a new one. I will get one and post it. I see him on the 30th. He is really hard to get into.

First of all, if your partner died, I am so sorry. That's awful. I don't even know what to say.

Medrol is a drug that makes me full on psycho. I can't sleep a wink on it and i walk around talking to myself 24 hours a day.

If I have another ASI test, my question is...what will this show, other than what we already know? I know my adrenals are tanked. So, what is the point of the test?

Honestly, after my experience with cortef and the 10 mg dose, I wouldn't take it again even at 20 mg. I was so sick. After all of the crap that i was on, I was on a hormonal soup of adrenal crap, it took me an entire year to get better from the stuff they put me on. Rhodiola helped to some extent. I was on so much. Pregnenelone, progesterone, DHEA, Estriol, another form or estrogen, ACE and I was on isocort and cortef before that. I couldn't even get out of bed. I couldn't leave my apartment, I was so sick. I came out of it by isolating and not being around people and sleeping. I could actually sleep then.

I forget, why did Clymer people not put you on their licorice extract? Do you not tolerate that?

How do i do that, sleep?? I dont really know but putting it out there hopefully someone has a magic wand. I think if there was a way for us to improve sleep then the rest would improve. Its dam sleep that would help us recover. I think you did the right thing by stopping those sleep meds that werent helping. Maybe a long break from them and then trying them again later they will help u too sleep, tolerance to sleep meds is one of our biggest problems to using sleep meds, the only way i know to reduce the tolerance is to take breaks from the meds and alternate them with other meds,,non benzo meds. If sleep is really hard for you to get can i suggest to look into seroquel, it can be something to alternate with your other meds. its used for many hard core insomniacs.

dr lams web site on adrenal fatigue mentions those that are very low in hormones over respond to normal doses of adrenal hormones and adaptogen herbs etc, he recommends using very low doses and slowly increasing them. He is also big into vit b5 for adrenal fatigue.
http://www.drlam.com/index.asp i dont know if u have read his stuff but theres a link, hopefully it can help u some.

cheers!!

I can't remember if I tolerate it. I don't think I am too bad on it. I have DGL plus. Is that what I need?

As said by Ema...

"I was actually thinking of my grandparents who spent almost 60 years together before my grandfather's death. And now my grandmother is dying in a nursing home all by herself for the most part. She had a great marriage and still gets to face the end alone (she is far away from us so visits are not as frequent). It's so cliche but true that we all ultimately face the end alone.



Medrol makes me want to stick my head in an oven as well - even on a low dose - and I bet you weren't on a low dose. But I know plenty of people that do just fine on it. I felt the same way on Prednisone too except the suicidal depression started with the very first dose. You can imagine my desire to try a third steroid was pretty low but to my surprise, I trialed a low dose of dexamethasone and it changed my life for the better. If I had to pick one med, it would be a hard choice between dex and Florinef.



But do you know for sure they are tanked all day/night long? Your trouble sleeping would suggest otherwise. The ASI shows the rhythm and total production of cortisol. You could be very low in the morning and noon and high at night (which is a very common pattern). This would be treated differently than someone who is flatlined low all day long. The total production of cortisol is also informative as it gives another indication of the state of your adrenals. I think it's really hard to know what the adrenals are doing since so many of the symptoms overlap."

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EMA...sorry for the caps.

No, I don't know what my adrenals are up to. I know that I sleep better in the day. It's 8:44 pm here and I just took a nap...that's right, at this weird hour. I go into a complete slump around 6 pm. They seem to be higher at night because I am more awake later on at night.

I am not saying I don't want to treat the adrenals, I just don't know what to do. I had more hope years ago. I could tolerate more. It's harder now. Clearly, I have to do something. It's always a very slippery slope with the adrenals though. As far as going to another practitioner, I would agree if it wasn't for the $$$. Most docs do not take medicare-the holistic ones. And to be honest, they usually try the same stuff mine has tried. I don't have prescription coverage and the supposed good holistic docs are over $100. I called Dr. Lam by the way. Last year. His thoughts were the same as most. He really doesn't have a rabbit up his sleeve either.

As far as dying alone, I guess I really didn't mean that I don't want to die alone. I miss being able to have the choice to date. I can't date anymore and it bums me out. I am too tired to date. I am tired of being alone and wish I had someone who could rub my feet or have my back.

Ok. I just responded to your other post...I somehow removed the quotes. I am too brain dead to figure this crap out.

If you tolerate it, this is the stuff you perhaps need (depending ASI test, what your doc says, etc.):

http://www.guidance.org/store/product32.html

Thanks, Jeff. I will talk to my doctor about it. I know he uses it.

Thanks Ema...that's about 3 hours away from me. Yes, relationships are hard. And I agree, the type I went for years ago is not the same. I miss that type. More alive.

I need to find a doc closer if I am even going to look for another one. Not sure if it's the depression, the adrenals or what, but I am too tired and mostly, I don't want to be let down anymore by docs. I am sick of it. I have done BHRT enough. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it works any better. As I have been sick for 23 years, my body is less and less able to handle things. Hormones have always been a major issue from day 1. I need to do things slowly.

We shall see.

I probably wouldn't advocate as a first course, but have you tried any conventional anti-depressants, SSRIs, etc? Those can sometimes help to normalize or improve HPAA functioning, too. Might provide some relief in the short or medium term, and then when you were more stable medically you could wean off them.

I feel like I am being a pain in the a$$, but....I can't take SSRI's. They make me sicker than a dog. I can't tolerate them, I have GERD and they make me throw up. The last time I was on them I had to take Prilosec and it didn't work. It was awful. I have been to 2 different psychiatrists and they said, SSRI's are not for you and they upset many peoples stomachs. SSRI's work on Serotonin in the gut, hence my problem with them. I wish I could take an antidepressant. I would love to, but even when I was more tolerant of tricyclics, I still never felt less depressed on them. They just dulled my sadness and made me numb. I was on Remeron, which put 23 pounds on me and really did nothing for my mental state. I still have not taken the weight from the med completely off. All tricyclics don't work either. They drop my blood pressure to being too too low. I was on Elavil which made me manic. In the beginning it was fun, then I couldn't sleep at all.

That is really too bad, Spitfire, very sorry to hear it. You're not being a PITA (pain the a$$ ;-)) at all - we're all familiar with having weird sensitivities and reactions to things. I can relate perfectly b/c whenever I took SSRIs I got horribly depressed. Exactly the opposite of the intended reaction. When I finally found one I could at least tolerate, it wiped out my vit D and calcium levels somehow. And even on the one I could tolerate, I felt the same way as you described - just numbed basically, not "anti-depressed." I thought it might be worth a suggestion, though.

I really hope you can find something soon to feel better - sometimes just time can help, especially when dealing with adrenal issues. They need time, rest, and soothing activity to heal. Have you tried any basic meditation practices, progressive relaxation, etc.? Those can sometimes be more of a help than it would seem. Anything that shifts you out of sympathetic dominance and lets you relax would seem to be a good thing. Again, hope you pull out of this soon - and I think with time you will. Just hang in there.

Hey Jeff, I just got home from Restorative yoga. I am just taking it easy. I started seeing a new therapist who said something to me today that was actually awesome..."After all you have been through, do you honestly think you would feel any differently. You need to give your self some time, some much needed time to rest and take care of yourself. Even if that means you need to be alone for some time." WOW.....really?

So, yes, I am trying the whole relaxation route and just trying to go with it, be with it, etc. Thank you for all of your suggestions. I appreciate people on here listening. It makes me feel not so alone.