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Depression? Adrenal Fatigue?...not sure.

Discussion in 'Adrenal Dysfunction' started by Misfit Toy, Jul 22, 2012.

  1. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    Well, after that awful vacation from hell and then problems with my apartment...if you recall, I wanted to move. I started looking, I started having panic attacks, I started becoming really sick. Many said on here that they thought I was grieving and that I shouldn't do anything. No impulsive decisions. I didn't. But, then I got a letter of eviction from my apartment complex because I didn't pay a full months rent due to the damage that was done to my apartment and the fact that I had to hire cleaners to come and clean the mess up in my apartment, which I had paid for out of my pocket.

    That was something I dealt with this week. That. The eviction, the staying, them not kicking me out. They made a mistake in sending it.

    Now, I am super sick. I can't function too well. All of the stress has taken me down completely. I cant' even make up my mind about simple things. I want to swallow salt or some quick fix for the adrenals. What fix is there for adrenals? I have pondered that before. Nothing has worked or it overstimulates them. I am exhausted and I feel like a crazy person. I am constantly thinking something bad might happen to me. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. I can't sleep or I can't get up. I am exhausted. I feel so lonely and yet I need the solace. Everything is a dichotomy. Nothing and I mean nothing is making me happy. I am too bone tired to be happy.

    Last night I went to a concert because it was a planned affair I had to attend and I slept all day to ready myself for it. Today, I am in horrible pain and I hardly slept afterwards. The show was great, but that deep energy in your bones wasn't there. It was adrenaline energy that carried me through. That's all I have.

    I am so depressed. I mean depressed. I don't want to do anything, but again that is fatigue and I am just too unwell to want to talk about "bullshit." I want to talk about how awful I feel. The "me" of a few months ago is gone, but I was struggling then too.

    I went to a new therapist the other day who told me, "you need to accept your illness." Well, guess what? I don't think that will ever happen. My illness is constantly changing. I am diagnosed with a new illness all of the time. This year it is chronic discogenic disease, on top of the CFS, IC and Fibromyalgia. There was a time I could date, go out, work a lot, have sex, and it wasn't that long ago and you bet, I am still grieving. BIG TIME. I feel like an old woman. I used to dance. I used to get jazzed up and put makeup on everyday. Those days are gone, starting only a few years ago. I am grappling with this new me. This exhausted, I can't sleep or if I do, I can't wake up self.

    I have no confidence anymore. Who am I? And why does no one really get my situation? Why do I always feel like I am having to explain myself? This lawyer asked me the other day, "Well, you sound so articulate to be on Medicare?" So, if you are on Medicare, does that mean you are supposed to be stupid? What kind of response, or question is that and why do "we" have to hear this everyday by some dumb idiot?

    I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel crisped. Like that is it. My life is over. Again, the fatigue, the listless feelings, the PTSD. Yesterday I had a dream about my ex boyfriend of years ago. It was so real. He was the one true love in my life. He met me before I got sick. We were together 2 years before I was sick and then 5 years after that. He couldn't handle my illness. I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone. I broke it off because I knew we weren't going to make it. He still thinks of me and I still think of him. Anyway, I miss those days and that relationship. I could sleep next to him. I didn't have IC then. I didn't have fibromyalgia then. CFS, which was plenty. He knew me and spent everyday with me, sick or not.

    I feel like he was it. He was the last. He was the only person who will know me and who I will love like that. He knew me. He was quiet. My mom is the other person, but she has dementia and is slipping. I am sad.

    I don't want to die alone. This illness keeps me alone. It keeps me in pain and feeling exhausted. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't feel that core personality because it's floating in fatigue and exhaustion.
    katim likes this.
  2. jeffrez

    jeffrez Senior Member

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    Have you tried a licorice extract? That can pull you through tough times, allow the adrenal system to rebound a little. Adrenal cortex extract can also help.
  3. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    I can't take ACE. I can't take cortef. I can take licorice. Maybe I will try that. Rhodiola never does anything.
  4. ggingues

    ggingues $10 gift code at iHerb GAS343 of $40

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    Thinking of you, and hoping you get better soon. This illness is so cruel.

    GG
  5. jeffrez

    jeffrez Senior Member

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    Why can't you take those items, Spitfire? Just curious what kind of reaction you get. Rhodiola gives me a small boost, but then I feel really irritable and depressed afterward, so it's not worth it for me.

    Withania (aka ashwagandha) sometimes helps people. Have you tried that herb?
  6. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    Hi Jeff, Cortef...years ago, I could take. My adrenals were better then. Then, in 2009 I took it and I was in bed from it. It completely made my adrenals stop functioning and I was only on 10 mg. Isocort was even worse. Again, I used to take this stuff and I was ok, not anymore. I feel delirious on them. Rhodiola has never done anything. Ashwagandha is also something that hasn't done anything. I have to do something though because I am just drained. It's not enough to rest at this point. I am even exhausted just from resting. So much has gone wrong this year and I have had so much pain with my neck and periods that are crazy, that my body is completely rebelling and burned out.
  7. heapsreal

    heapsreal iherb 10% discount code OPA989,

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    I think that anything that increase cortisol(initially) can make someone with adrenal dysfunction overstimulated and feeling aweful. My experience was to start with dhea as dhea helps balance out the effects of cortisol. i started with dhea in small doses like 5mg and increased it in 5mg increments every few weeks, this avoided any side effects for me. When i got to 25mg my dhea levels tested right in the middle of the range, prior they were below/outside the reference range. I dont use anything to increase my cortisol levels as i just feel crappy when i do but i have noticed now that stimulating things i can tolerate better now that my dhea is normal. just taking sudafed for sinus issues would overstimulate me too much and cause a worsening of insomnia, now its not an issue. Also for me pregnenolone increases cortisol but little effect on dhea(different to what i read) and pregnenolone overstimulated me too much unless i used very low doses but now with good dhea levels i can tolerate pregnenolone alot better. Now i no longer use pregnenolone as i dont find it as helpful now. Im just using dhea for adrenals now.

    cheers!!!
    jeffrez likes this.
  8. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    Hey Heaps...my doctor doesn't want me on DHEA because he is frightened I will turn it into estrogen. I am estrogen dominant with Endometriosis, so balancing hormones is a total nightmare for me.
  9. silicon

    silicon Senior Member

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    Hi Spitfire,

    I always feel depressed when my adrenals are low or exhausted...it's so hard for the emotions to rise above this sort of a physical depression...

    Please forgive me if I've forgotten...I can't recall if you have used Chinese herbs before...I have a vague sense that you had in the past but perhaps it was really hard to find a good practitioner in your area (and of course the expense adds up)...but my recollection may be way off. I'm just grasping at straws here--but my thought is that you might fare better with a gentle approach, ideally customized to your specific situation.

    I'm thinking of you...hoping that tomorrow is better than today...
    The Spitfire likes this.
  10. heapsreal

    heapsreal iherb 10% discount code OPA989,

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    Progesterone might be a better match as it can help improve cortisol levels but as antianxiety properties as well plus it helps with estrogen dominance. I think dhea converting to estrogen is mainly a problem that occurrs in men but if u have these hormones tested and then add a small amount of dhea like 5 mg and then retest, u might find it helps estrogen dominance especially in women as dhea is more likely to convert to testosterone. The only way to really know is to try small amounts and retest. But i think dhea is important to help balance out the negative effects of cortisol. cortisol and dhea is like a yin yang thing.

    cheers!!!
  11. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    Silicone, I have used Chinese herbs. Between the acupuncture and the herbs, it's too expensive anymore. It's about $120 a week for just one visit. I can't do it anymore. The biggest problem I had with it was that I have so many symptoms that the practitioner would become overwhelmed by me and change my formula every week. Not their fault. I agree 100% that this low adrenal state is the reason for my lack of happiness. Like I said, trying to peel me away from my bed in the am is almost impossible. I could sit around half the day just trying to rouse myself up.
  12. jeffrez

    jeffrez Senior Member

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    I think 7-Keto DHEA doesn't have the estrogenic (or testosterone) effects. Could be a tolerable alternative perhaps?
  13. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    I will ask my doctor. Here is a perfect example of what is going on. Went to bed, fell asleep in 5 minutes. Woke up sweating after 3 hours. Been awake ever since. Now, pain sets in. Can't sleep. Anxiety. A constant. Later, I will fall asleep and won't be able to wake up. Brain dead, pain, anxiety, exhaustion and depression. Vicious cycle. It's crazy. This is by far is the worst I have ever been. Sleep is a rarity and work has ceased. This is no life.
  14. heapsreal

    heapsreal iherb 10% discount code OPA989,

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    Just sleep deprivation could be doing this, i know it does to me, viscious cycle making pain worse that makes it harder to sleep etc etc. Why for me treating sleep is important.

    cheers!!!
    peggy-sue likes this.
  15. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    And how do you do that? I am on klonopin, restoril, ativan and I quit 2 of them because they weren't working. Sleep comes from a deeper place than just treating sleep. If you have chemical imbalances, adrenal disorders, pain; treating sleep is not as easy as taking a pill. You have to treat the whole problem . The hormones, the adrenals, the pain. So...sleep treatment is not cut and dry.
  16. Tito

    Tito Senior Member

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    Spitfire,
    Spiralling downwards is the cruellest aspect of this illness :( and sometimes it is good to get distracted from that awful state. Is there something you enjoy doing and still can do? For example, if I feel up to, I watch an episode of a tv series I like. I like sci-fi because it transports me into an imaginary world away from my bed and it gives me relief for 45 minutes. It can be very powerful. Anything that takes me away from my reality is just bliss.
    Good luck
    The Spitfire likes this.
  17. jeffrez

    jeffrez Senior Member

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    Your hormones are a wreck, babe. :-( It's causing your sympathetic & parasympathetic systems, neurotransmitters, etc. to get way out of balance. That's why you're experiencing all these neuro symptoms - the sweating, anxiety, depression, etc.

    Sounds like you are really super deficient in cortisol. Have you done the salivary adrenal panel? That would help identify the imbalance. Like you said, you have to treat the whole problem, and IDing the adrenal/hpaa problem would be a big help.

    Who's your doctor? An alternative/holistic doc, or a mainstream doc? Doesn't sound like he/she really has a handle on what's going on with you. Think you need some testing to identify these hormonal problems & rule out anything serious, start treating the adrenals to put those more in balance, and then deal with some of the peripheral issues symptomatically if you have to while the basic problem is being addressed.
    The Spitfire likes this.
  18. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    It depends on where I am with the illness. I have had no cognitive ability lately so TV has been a real issue. I like to light candle and relax at night. And even though this isn't relaxation, I like to clean. That gives me joy. Maybe it makes my crazy world seem "a little less chaotic." I went to yoga once last week and I loved it. It comes and goes with me. I like knowing that I am taking care of me. Whatever that means.
  19. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Senior Member

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    I agree. He knows my hormones are low. They are super low. But, the stuff he has put me on in the past made me sicker. The pregnenelone, the dHEA, the estrogen. I am in perimenopause. I get my period sometimes every 2 weeks. Problem is, I don't do well on hormones. NOT AT ALL. I can't take the pill. Miladregen can be too much for me, seriphos is too much for me. I go to Clymer Healing Research Clinic or Woodlands and I see Dr. Kracht. Unfortunately for him, I am not an easy case. Too much of anything can make me nuts.
  20. Ema

    Ema Senior Member

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    My DHEA all converts to estrogen and I am female. I know many women like this. We all wish it would convert to testosterone!

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