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dentist tech says doesnt belive in fibro one of worst days

Discussion in 'General Symptoms' started by hurtingallthetimet, Dec 29, 2011.

  1. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    i have so much anxiety with getting out and cant take medications when drive...i hate going to dentist but hadnt been in awhile and my daughter needed to go and i hate filling out paperwork and putting down illness and currtent medications but afraid i might need something that will interact ect...sometimes i dont put them all down because ive been made to feel embarassed before but i did this time at my hubby urging because of worry in case in future i need medicaton from dentist..

    the dentist tech who reviewed my illness history and medications..off the bat tells me im on alot of medications and her mother was diagnosied with firbro and she doesnt believe in it and its a bunch of bull...
    i just ignored her...then she tells me of someone she knows a much much older lady who has a bad back...{ive had two what they called small surgerys and alot of back problems and cant afford the surgery they want} she tells me this much older person uses hot patches and hot muscle rubs to point where its caused huge sores to take care of pain to work....and then ask me if ive ever done any kind of work..i put down home maker as occupation....i told her yes id worked my whole life and that i cant take pain and cant put myself through huge sores on my back on top of everything else...

    i was about to cry by the time i left...she was very nice and talked a mile a minute about alot of things maybe she didnt mean to offend me but i found waht she said offensive and hurtful..was i being too sensitive?

    on top of that i get home and my other childs neck is huge and i have to find a doctors office and had to wait along time since it was last mintue appointment...then wait at drugstroe for medications...

    im wiped out...my back is killing me...the dentist tech kept asking if i needed anything for my back i dont know what she meant i guess a pillow..but i was too upset and just said no...im not going back there again for myself...

    this has been one of longest...hardest...days in along time...i know i will crash as always and wake up tommorow alot worse...its that same pattern we all know to well....i tried to stay upbeat for my kids espically the sick one and try to pretend everythign was ok...but it wasnt..then a family member miscarried and i was asked to call and check on them and i couldnt say no..so its been very long very stressful and very sensitive....
    i was just wondering if i was being over sensitive to her remarks....
     
  2. Kina

    Kina Moderation Team Lead

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    :eek: I think your dental tech was over-stepping her boundaries -- massively. I don't believe a dental tech should be commenting on the number of medications you are on. The important thing in denistry is to know what medications might be affecting your teeth or might have an effect on a procedure you are having. It is highly unprofessional of her to comment that any illness is "bull" and that she doesn't believe in it. It is also none of her business as to whether you work or have worked. Her comments were insensitive and I would have been extremely upset if I had been in your shoes. I would have immediately complained to the dentist or person who she works for.

    Nobody has the right to make you feel upset. If you are so upset that you won't go back, maybe a letter regarding her unprofessional behavior is in order. She might think twice the next time she comes across a patient with ME/CFS/Fibro etc.
     
    justy and ggingues like this.
  3. Sallysblooms

    Sallysblooms P.O.T.S. now SO MUCH BETTER!

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    Yes, not her job to comment on your meds and health. Some days you might be less offended by her and others you might feel worse... but it really was not nice to keep talking like that about your meds etc. Hope you feel better soon.

    What is wrong with your child's neck? I hope that is fine.
     
  4. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thanks for your reply that helps me to feel better...im very sensitive espically after becoming ill and i wasnt sure if i was being over sensitive....i was to point of tears by time i left...and with so much that went on today i broke down at home....it was a very very busy and hard day all around...

    i dont understand how she could make the remarks...do you think i should just stop putting down medications and illness all together for the dentist i see next? i sometimes do skip at eye doctors and such but hubby had thought i should put them down i wish id not listened then again there would probably have been thrown in with the work questions..why didnt i work...

    thing is she dosent know how hard i have worked my whole life while doing so much other stuff at same time...that i miss work dearly...and feel ashamed that i cant work for my family...i dont want to put down homemakeer again..but id feel bad lying...ive thought of lying to family members thoguh that dont understand and that keep asking me when am i going to get a job...they know im sick but dont get it...why is fibro treated so badly? its as deblitating as many many illness that if someone even says they think they have people give help and advice and show caring...say you have fibro its like having leprosy back in the olden times or something..its sad....i wish like others ive seen post that they would come up with a new resepected name or something...

    thanks again for for your thoughts i feel better about it the day has been one of busiest and i tried hard to stay strong and put on my pretend face for my child who was sick and act happy..it was a very stressful day all together too many things going on....just got off phone again with the family member who lost baby and i really felt i needed to talk to them becuase they are going through so much.. and thoguh i took my medications it is really hitting me hard with the pain and fatigue...i dread how i will wake up...my back feels like it is breaking into...

    thanks for asking about my child who isnt feeling well...swollen lymph nodes they think mono...did blood work and hopefully thats what it is and gave anitbiotic...
     
  5. Sallysblooms

    Sallysblooms P.O.T.S. now SO MUCH BETTER!

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    I hope your child responds to the medicine and heals quickly.

    Just try not to worry about that tech. It doesn't matter what she says or thinks. I think you will not be thinking about her in a few days. I have learned to really speak up for myself and dismiss people that know nothing about me.

    Listing meds is good in case another medicine doesn't work with it. I give them SOME of my supplements, but not many, ha. I do tell them if I take a medicine.

    I have not seen fibro treated badly. I am so sorry you have. Just keep your chin up and never give people like that your time. Just move on. It is best for your health. :)
     
  6. ggingues

    ggingues $10 gift code at iHerb GAS343 of $40

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    1) Homemaker is a tough job, I figured (been ill going on 9 years) that I have trouble taking care of myself, and raising kids is very demanding, so I am not going to do that.

    2) Not sure if you have another dentist, but I would say something or completely move on from the place, and let the dentist know they lost your business.

    3) Mono is a Virus, antibiotics are for bacteria. If your child does not have a bacterial issue, do not have them take antibiotics. Some Drs give because patients demand or feel duped, they want to feel as though they accomplished something by going to the Drs. But we know that is not always the case!

    4) you should list all your meds. Some meds can have effects on gum/tooth health, and in case you are prescribed something, they need to know what you are on.

    The overuse of antibiotics is believed to be behind the spread of MRSA.

    GG
     
  7. Snow Leopard

    Snow Leopard Senior Member

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    Did you tell her that you don't 'believe in' rude and ignorant people? ;)
     
    alex3619 likes this.
  8. Mya Symons

    Mya Symons Mya Symons

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    So she is one of those. I always wish I could go back in time in these situations. I will think of a good response afterwards but cannot think of it then. I have kind of a standard response to these people now (who are not doctors). I tell them it is not up to them to decide whether or not Fibromyalgia exists or is a "real disease" because they don't have it, I do. And, it is none of their business. I still have not figured out what to say to doctors since they are the people who get to decide whether an illness is legitimate or not.

    I think a lot of women feel guilty when they defend themselves because we have been taught it is rude. I know I do at times. I go by a personal rule that if a person is rude first, it is o.k. to tell them off. I am always baffled that people who say these things cannot understand why they get told off. They really do think that they did not do anything wrong.
     
  9. Calathea

    Calathea Darkness therapy

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    Fibromyalgia is a medical condition, not a religious system. It's not a matter for belief. I'm more familiar with ME, but last I checked that was definitely declared a genuine physiological condition decades ago, and I'm reasonably sure that fibro was as well. It is also nobody's business whether you have worked or not. I haven't worked except for a couple of summer jobs when I was at school, because I got ME during my first year at university: does that make me less deserving of healthcare, money to live on and basic human compassion? That woman was being completely unprofessional, was medically plain wrong, and was being highly unpleasant as a human being. I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that.

    Complaining about doctors rarely works in my experience, they just back each other up and blame the patient. The one time I got a complaint through was when I complained about a simple matter of not getting fed in a hospital (they swore blind they would stock up on vegan meals for me in advance), and even so that took six months of repeated complaints and having to push through a lot of ridiculous excuses. Since you seem to have quite a high level of anxiety already, I wouldn't do it.

    However, I would suggest finding someone to go to medical appointments with you if you possibly can. If you can't get support from family, friends or care/support workers, there are various voluntary organisations that do advocacy and so forth which may be able to help. It'll provide much-needed moral support, you'll have someone to yank you out of there if it all starts going horribly wrong (either because the medical professional is being an idiot or because you're crashing), and they'll be able to take notes and remind you of the things you're too exhausted to remember to ask.
     
  10. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Member

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    I've found that if someone starts talking about something like that that they have no idea about, if I just say "I disagree" and "I'll just stick to talking to my doctors about that," I feel fine about how things go. Because I've ended the conversation, made clear I don't agree with the person, and let them know I don't want to hear on that topic from them but only from my doctor who knows what he or she is talking about in terms of the condition. They can have whatever opinion on my health that they want, I just don't want to hear it from them and I don't have to hear it.

    Of course you can't go back in time, but maybe in the future if something like that happens you could just say "I have a doctor that I see for this and prefer not to discuss it with others unless it's relevant to my care here" or something like that. I've had a doctor say something similar to me but since he was not my doctor for CFS I do not believe it was in his place to comment.

    p.s Sorry you had that experience. I know how upsetting it can be when things like that happen.
     
  11. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    I agree. She was completely unprofessional and out of bounds and many would put in a complaint over her conduct.
    ...

    Be aware we should tell dentists and our doctors that we have ME/CFS as there are certain anaethestics etc ones with this illness shouldnt have. My dentist gave me a dental injection of the type which isnt recommended in ME/CFS and I had such a severe reaction it is lucky an ambulance wasnt rang. I now have all that info in my notes.
     
  12. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thank you all for your replies and kindness.....i have been in a flare since that long long day....thankfully my son is feeling better....but i still hurt alot and very tired from it all...

    im not going to go back and have any dental work done for myslef maybe will go ahead have a cavity for my other child fixed not sure...leaning towards not even doing that...i only told my hubby ouside of the support board what the lady had said and he dosnt want me to go back eiter and he wished id told her off...

    just wanted to check in hope everyone had and has a wonderful New Year and hopefully this will be a New Year that is great for us all with lots and lots of great days...
     
  13. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Member

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    I'm glad your husband was supportive. That's the most important, to have those closest to us in our corner. Hope you're starting to feel better from your flareup.
     

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