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Dealing with people who are "energy suckers/psychic vampires"

Discussion in 'General ME/CFS Discussion' started by Horizon, Nov 20, 2016.

  1. Horizon

    Horizon Senior Member

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    How do you guys deal with people who by just being around they suck any energy out of you, they call them in many cases "psychic vampires" google it. Obviously, if you can avoid these people or get them out of your life completely that would be best but it isn't always an option and some people you need to be around but they cause serious issues.

    I don't know how to handle these people. There are literally some people who have a burst of energy that is so powerful that upon seeing them and getting the first greeting im already immediately wiped out and others who are so negative that they further drain you.

    Any coping mechanisms?
     
  2. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    I avoid them as much as I can even if Im forced to deal with them eg horrible disability service. I have to deal with them but I get others to be my go between and wont usually speak directly to the phone to them. Im also doing this with a hard to deal with advocate..and asked for him to hand me over to another instead of him so his boss is being the middle man and phoning me instead today.

    You really need to learn to create some space between you and these types even if you need to deal with them. (others I will only see if certain situations eg if its someone who at times gives me a hard time I make sure i only see them with another present this usually then has the other not being so bad though that isnt always the case.

    Others consider going to "letters" only type of communicaton

    You can also protect your energy with "psychic vampires" by really owning your own space and disallowing certain things to come into it eg if its someone who constantly complains and whines about everything and all the little things in life, you can just break off contact whenever they start up. eg if they are at your home, just choose to go to the loo or something at that time. Just walk off every time they start up.

    Keep doing that till they get the message that you dont want to hear about it. (Ive actually had to tell some that I dont want to hear of their negativity as Im too sick to take it on). My mother was a real drainer but doesnt now dump on me so much as Ive directly told her many times now not to do this. I still though limit contact (even phone) with her.

    My mother though she's stopped her constant whining (she was going on about things which happened to her by others over 30 years ago every time we spoke eg someone who is actually now deceased, not returning some baby clothes 30 years ago..just constantly dumping a life time of negative stuff at me long in the past). Cause i got to the point where I will not allow her to go on like that, she seems to have changed tact now and seems to be going for sudden shock tactic now.

    I havent as yet got my head around this new thing which she may be doing for past 4 weeks to gain attention/energy eg telling me she feels like shooting my advocate and that she feels like ringing and abusing him (which she could well do), telling me she wont be coming to xmas as she's annoyed about something and if she does she will punch my father in the face etc, telling me she will kill herself (that was a good one, I told her I'd join her in that!!! and meant it when I said that.. so she then quickly stopped saying that). She's now hitting on purpose the things she knows will hurt or stir me up.

    id be able to switch off if I knew my mother better but I really do not know what she's capable as she's done some very bad things in the past so the shit she says is very concerning to me. so she can drain my energy with her shock tactic words. (i may have to go back to having hardly no contact with her again. I'd been trying to communicate with my mother well for the first time in my life but in reaching out with my issues I just made myself vulnerable to her.. and then she started doing that).

    I should just completely accept she's an energy vampire and is no good to turn to at all, she responds very badly to that. She needs the energy to be always flowing her way.

    On energetic levels Ive heard that crossing ones the arms and legs can help too and avoid eye contact with them can help too.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2016
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  3. Groggy Doggy

    Groggy Doggy Senior Member

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    sorry you have to deal with this. here are some suggestions: try to visualize yourself detaching from the dramatic person's energy. just let the energy fly by or around you; don't engage it. the energy is not yours to fix or analyse. let it go. if you feel the negative energy is still getting you down, then visualize pulling it out (of your space), putting it in a box, and giving it back to the person who sent it. hope this helps and you can regain some peace and calmness again.
     
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  4. belize44

    belize44 Senior Member

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    I read somewhere that wearing black clothing insulates you from negative energy; naturally you wouldn't want to wear it all the time, though. Also, envisioning an insulating, protective orb of light around you can help, too. You may have to practice doing this when you are not around the negative person, to get proficient at it. Hope that helps!
     
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  5. Dechi

    Dechi Senior Member

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    I stay away from these people as much as I can. I just can't handle it. Maybe if you meditate just before being in contact with them it would help. If you know in advance of course.
     
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  6. wonderoushope

    wonderoushope Senior Member

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    I don't know...I have been affected a lot by energy suckers, mainly me not realising how they were till I was sucked in. I got rid of these people out of my life as soon as I realised how draining they were. Illness starts up again because of their attitudes. At the moment I just don't socialise that much or I keep the socialisation to very casual.
     
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  7. Luther Blissett

    Luther Blissett Senior Member

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    You might find this article helpful, includes advice on how to deal with psychopaths.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199401/charming-psychopath

    Note, not all psychopaths are criminal, and not everyone who sucks up your energy is a psychopath.

    I would suggest looking for a forum to ask about any doubts or questions you have, and for emotional support if needed.
     
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  8. wonderoushope

    wonderoushope Senior Member

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    I think probably narcissism is more of a common occurrence in everyday life than psychopathy. Makes sense, as we all tend to have a bit of narcissism in us, but usually its a healthy amount.

    But yes, when I realised I had been duped I read up a lot on personality disorders. I guess the best way to avoid these type of people is to be educated and read books and articles on learning to set personal boundaries.
     
  9. Skippa

    Skippa Anti-BS

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    I have no tolerance now. Avoid avoid avoid.

    Or... find someone who can match or equal their powers to act as s human shield. Hehe.
     
  10. ash0787

    ash0787 Senior Member

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    Thats basically my nan and aunt and to a lesser extent my father, he quite obviously when he has a problem / isn't happy lets it affect how he communicates with other people whereas I been ill for over a year and always try not to do that.

    My brother and cousin tends to increase my energy level but in general I have not had much luck in life finding people that I like and keeping them in the long term ( usually find them in online games )
     
  11. Barry53

    Barry53 Senior Member

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    As everyone else says, avoid if at all possible.

    Where not able to, it can be useful to remind yourself that the one person they can never ever get away from - is themself. They are ultimately their own worst enemy, and will in time be their own downfall. To me it is a kind of natural justice that they are stuck with themselves for the duration.
     
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  12. Horizon

    Horizon Senior Member

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    Good tips and good to know I am not alone in dealing with this. It probably sounds a little wacky that someones energy or attitude could affect ours but it is totally real and I have dealt with that even before ME/CFS coming into my life.

    I have to deal with one of these people on Friday but I am going to try to employ some of these tactics of mental withdrawal and trying to not focus too hard with them, making little eye contact etc. Some people really demand you keep up with them and make eye contact so its tough. I kind of want this one person I know to sit between us to act as a buffer.
     
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