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No Longer Naive in the Ways of The Beast
After having lived for years with ME/CFS, Jody Smith learned there's more to this beast of an illness than she realized, and that what might help one person may not help others ...
Discuss the article on the Forums.

Dating...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by Christopher, Nov 15, 2009.

  1. _Kim_

    _Kim_ Guest

    I actually met one of my boyfriends while he was stopped at a red light and I was coming out of a store. He flirted, I flirted back and then he drove off. I was thinking, "why did I let him drive away" when he circled back around and parked to talk to me. Ya never know...
  2. sarahg

    sarahg Admin Assistant

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    Well, I'll see your red light and raise you lounging on a hammock in my yard.
  3. Christopher

    Christopher Senior Member

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    lol you think a strapping lad is gonna walk by and fall in love? :)
  4. sarahg

    sarahg Admin Assistant

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    It's a busy street!
  5. sarahg

    sarahg Admin Assistant

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    I should clarify that I live next door to our town's community center/municipal building/recreational complex. I'm forever chasing people OUT of my yard, actually.
  6. BEG

    BEG Senior Member

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    Christopher, Kim, sarahg --- you make me laugh until the tears come. thank you! thank you! thank you! And good luck with red lights, grocery stores, and hammocks. I'm sure it won't stop there.
  7. Sammy

    Sammy

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    Ounch! that would have hurt :(

    And sadly enough, i know how that feels...

    I am optimistic though, with time, things will change, wait and see...
  8. Marylib

    Marylib Senior Member

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    for Sammy

    Yep, it hurt alot. Thanks for your kind words. Onward and upward from here...sort of :)
  9. Sammy

    Sammy

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    Any time Marylib, and absolutely :)
  10. Kati

    Kati Patient in training

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    Ah the dating world. In the past I have met my bf (noth that there are many) doing activities I enjoyed doing- hiking and cycling- it gave us something in common and made us realize we indeed liked one another.

    Now, unless I get into a fender bender that would actualy cause more grief than love connections- the chance to meet someone is probably 0.01%

    One point I would like to bring though is there is nothing wrong at all with being single. Like the song says, can't hurry love-


    Mistletoe anyone ?:p
  11. Sammy

    Sammy

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    Good points. Your funny Kati :)
  12. Cloud

    Cloud Guest

    Thanks for the thread Chris.....Since becoming more severely ill and my marriage ending because of it 6 years ago, I have had this feeling that I just couldn't do that to myself or another person again. I wanted to get well before starting any more relationships. And maybe I'm fortunate that in spite of being in many serious relationships in my life, I have never felt like I had to be. I'm comfortable in my own skin and maybe that's been a blessing for the last 6 years of being mostly home bound. Most of my relationships didn't require a lot of chase and maybe that's because most of the girls I have been with were in my immediate proximity practicing the same interests with work and play.

    I doubt the stats that ME/CFS relationships fail more than "normal" is true of the ones who get together after onset....because both people know what they are getting into, and they would be more empathetic and supportive of one another. It's when the magnitude of the disease obliterates the hopes and dreams of the unsuspecting couple that there are devastating problems. Well, that's my story anyhow. I personally think it could be a good thing for 2 pwc's to get together. Of course there would have to be chemistry and compatibility like with any relationship.....but I think it could be good. People say that Internet dating is bad because people can lie......Well, they seem to do just fine with that in real life as well. Besides it's the illusion in my own head that I need to be more concerned with regardless of whether it's the net or real life. Seems to me it could be good to get to know someone on the net, then the phone, then dating in person. You don't have to marry them...just have fun. The internet has been a lifesaver for me when I became to ill to leave the house. It became my social life and playground. It has kept me sane. But even though it's not for me, I think meeting the right person on-line is entirely possible.

    I am almost well enough now for some romance and even feel that I want it.....I am starting to think about it more. I know for me it's just a thing of practicing who I am and what I love and that will put me in the right arena for the best match. It's always worked that way before. Most often rather than being out "Looking", I was doing what I love and it just happened. The women I have chased were a hell of a lot of fun, but ultimately dangerous.....but then, I like danger. Thought I might outgrow that someday.
  13. kristin

    kristin Guest

    I think I remember.....

    Before I was ill, I used to date quite a bit. For now it is only something I dream about frequently. Thank goodness for dreams!! :D
  14. Maybe as Cort has organised and built this amazing website for us all - we could have a dating site oneday? I wanted to build one for years, but I don't have the web skills to do it.

    We'd have to pay of course but it would be worth it.

    I haven't kissed anyone for nearly 5 years, quite ridiculous we all have to live like this. Other disabled people are allowed partners. Ages ago, a woman kissed me on the cheek as a kind of 'thanks' for something (a good deed), just that touch was quite incredible, and all the memories of a partner came flooding back.

    I'm sure we'd all appreciate just being able to hold someone's hand, never mind bedroom Olympics. Touch is so special, and hearing someones voice that comforts you.

    It's so horrible you, me, and everyone else on here is desperate to meet someone - yet there isn't a facilty to do this on the entire internet for people with this disease.

    Think how much good we could bring to each others lives.
    Think how much better we could cope.

    When you wake up in the morning and know that at least you have someone who loves you - it's an incredible feeling, and keeps you going the whole day.
  15. Sue C

    Sue C Sue C

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    So it is what it is... after weeks slowed to a near halt, am uplifted and even amused by the candid, heartfelt contributions. Its like old war buddies sitting around the campfire but in this case smoke and marshmallows aside. Thanks, Chris, for your start with this thread as my holiday induced sadness sure needed the reality check. It seems that being open, accepting , in the moment, surprises do happen, no matter in what form. Yes, I admit that the vegetable section at the grocery has brought some exciting moments on a hot summer's day. Chemistry happens all over the place; once I met someone while doing laundry......spoke on the phone and we had dinner. The challenge was not to futurize it. Its the times that my life has slowed so that my focus goes inward
    [deep breath] and somehow change happens, coping becomes possible and hope arrives....even in the darker moments, light dispels the darkness. Had to join in and acknowledge the gifted, talented loving group here, Appreciate the respite! SueC.
  16. jenbooks

    jenbooks Guest

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  17. Cloud

    Cloud Guest

    I can outrun you

    Thank you Jen.....very touching story
  18. Lily

    Lily *Believe*

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    Awwwwww....too sweet

    how appropriate - thanks Jenbooks.
  19. shrewsbury

    shrewsbury member

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    Thanks for the link jenbooks. Made my day!

    islandfinn:)
  20. Sunday

    Sunday Senior Member

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    That was an honest and beautiful story.

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