Severe ME Day of Understanding and Remembrance: Aug. 8, 2017
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Can anyone relate to feeling bipolar-ish???

Discussion in 'Post-Exertional Malaise, Fatigue, and Crashes' started by Mesurfer, May 2, 2017.

  1. Mesurfer

    Mesurfer

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    When I am feeling well I am excited about life. I want to make plans to do all sorts of things, and I fully intend on doing all of them. Then the bottom falls out and PEM sucks the life out of me, and everything I wanted to do just a few days before is no longer possible for me. Everything that I was hoping and dreaming to accomplish all of a sudden seems overwhelming and too big to tackle.

    When the CFS crash hits, it is as if those days never existed and all I can concentrate on is how bad I feel. I hate life, I hate everything. I just want to die. The crashes take longer and longer to recover from the older I get and they seem to come closer and closer together.

    Depression is normal in people with chronic illnesses like CFS. I have been dismissed many times as just having depression when it was so much more than that. But bipolar disorder is a whole different story from depression. I feel like two different people at times. Does anyone else feel bipolar-ish
     
  2. Skippa

    Skippa Anti-BS

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    Yes I feel like that a lot - I get the "two different people" thing.

    I was investigated for cyclothymia and working with the psychiatrist and keeping mood diaries and things, she concluded it was a physical problem and NOT psychy,..

    Which is a strange state of affairs to say the least... the situation in the UK... psychiatrists who you would assume know all about mental stuff saying I have a physical problem... and GPs and everyone else implying it is mental. WTF?
     
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  3. purrsian

    purrsian Senior Member

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    Yes, I think it's to do with changes in chemicals in the brain. Our moods and the way our brain functions depends on the balance of neurotransmitters and all those kinds of things, like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, etc. I really do feel that when I'm in a crash, my brain is not letting me feel good - I literally try so hard to think positive, be realistic and talk through things with my fiancé, and I even realise that I would be feeling and thinking those positive and realistic things if I was not in a crash. But during a crash, I just can't get my brain back on track.

    I also think this is connected to my condition because I feel/think so negatively when I'm crashing only. The "normal me" feelings/thoughts are present when I'm doing better, and then "negative me" feelings/thoughts are present when PEM arrives and it's intensity correlates to the PEM intensity.

    Then also consider that when we feel good, we get excited about all the things we might do, giving us an adrenal surge that makes us feel even better (temporarily). Which makes it even more depressing when we get kicked back down to crash town and remember we can't do those things after all.
     
  4. Forbin

    Forbin Senior Member

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  5. Mesurfer

    Mesurfer

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    Im so glad I'm not alone on this. I started seeing a therapist and am trying to explain what it is like to him but I think unless you experience it ther is no way anyone can truly understand the ceoncept of PEM and PENE. He is giving me relaxation techniques and helping me deal with anxiety and I was really hopeful but then I hit the wall again and it made me realize all of these techniques are basically useless for PEM. I really just wish he could stop me from having M.E. crashes. I wish there were answers and treatments. Good luck to everyone how is going through this. I hope one day they will figure this all out.
     
  6. wastwater

    wastwater Senior Member

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    I was assessed for it but don't have it, there is tired and wired state,anxiety and also ADHD states to consider too
     
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  7. Johnskip

    Johnskip Senior Member

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    same here exactly
     
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  8. Apple

    Apple Senior Member

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    I can absolutely relate to this. When I feel good physically, my mood is great, super happy, super high, loads of ideas and plans annnnd then I crash, and feel horribly depressed.

    I'm 100% certain that I don't suffer from Bipolar disorder or depression. For me, my mood is secondary to how i'm physically feeling, not the other way around. Everyone feels miserable when they feel like they have the flu, and for us, experiencing that day after day after day, I think it's then normal to be happier and more excited than usual when you get a break from it.

    I wouldn't even call these mood swings, i'd call them health swings.
     
  9. Jessie 107

    Jessie 107

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    Yes I too feel almost excited when I feel ok, my brain fog lifts and I remember how nice it feels to be back in the land of the living. I start to think about the things that I am going to do, then like today the crash hits and I am back to feeling worse than ever (I always feel like this crash is worse than the last one!) everything becomes negative again and I want to give up on life. I am definitely not bipolar, it's just this damn illness and the devastating effect it has had on my life that gets me down.
    You are not alone in feeling like you do.
    Jessie
     
  10. flitza

    flitza Senior Member

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    I have this too. And was asking myself exactly the same questions. I've been taking LDN, took it for about 9 days and then had to stop it because of an operation requiring opioid analgesia post op, but it was helping a bit with this.

    I still had times of day when I felt anxious and down and times when I really felt better. I'm sure it's all neurological.

    gotta hang in there through the down times.
     
  11. xebex

    xebex

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    Yes, I can relate to this, I've always had mood swings in my life even before I got sick 7 years ago. Pregnancy and breastfeeding seemed to reduce my mood swings, but now my daughter is 3 those hormones have long gone. Last year I was having terrible aggressive outbursts, screaming matches with my husband running away in the car, all sorts of craziness. But this year things are A LOT better, and this is my bizarre theory on why: I have alwasy had a sensitivity to onions and alcohol (i haven't drunk alcohol in several years now) and the onion sensitivity got worse and worse over time to the point where I couldn't even smell cooking onions without becoming really irritable (or falling into a sleep coma) Back in November I competely cut alcohol, onions, sluphites and nitrates out of my diet and I haven't had a tantrum in 5 months! I'm not saying that cutting out onions is the asnwer for everyone, but i do think that certain food intolerances mess with hormone balance. Back in March, I had had my worsh crash yet, but I have dealt with it a lot better than lesser crashes that i've had in the last two years. Maybe i'm learning to accept, but I think i'm just not getting as hormonally messed up as I was before, even though physically I seem to be worse. I truly believe that my adjustments in diet have been the most beneficial changes I've made in dealing with my condition.
     
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  12. Mesurfer

    Mesurfer

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    Interesting, I met a Vietnamese couple who had a doughter with an onion allergy that would really effect her quite a bit, but Ive never heard of it other that that though. So many hints we could be allergic to... Anyway I'm glad your doing somewhat better!
     
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  13. Mesurfer

    Mesurfer

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    Yep, I'm hanging in... Interesting, I gave it a try a while back and didn't notice much but maybe all have to revisit this....
     
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  14. Mesurfer

    Mesurfer

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    Thanks, it helps to know I'm not alone bc it sure feels like it sometimes...
     
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  15. flitza

    flitza Senior Member

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    I think we're getting much closer, with recent research to understanding the cause(s) of this and to a treatment. Things are really heating up. We've just got to hang in there!
    I know exactly how you feel. I go through exactly the same thing.
     
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  16. Learner1

    Learner1 Professional Patient

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    Read William Walsh's "Nutrient Power" and Patrick Holford's "New Optimum Nutrition for the Brain."

    Almost all bipolar type symptoms are due to imbalances in methylation (methylfolate, B12, P5P, B2, B3, magnesium, methionine, TMG, etc.), histamine, and zinc/copper, as well as a leaky gut.

    I had a close family member almost commit suicide several years ago after seeing over 20 psychiatrists and many psychiatric medications who become totally cured after removing gluten and dairy from diet, fixing the gut, and industrial strength, customized nutritional supplementation under the care of a functional medicine doctor.

    A 23andme test, Genova Diagnostics NutrEval and GI Effects would all help you figure out what's going on.

    My body has been through a lot in the past 3 years, and I'm to the point, because of what I've learned, that when my mood starts to go. I can figure out what to supplement.... SAMe makes me irritable, while TMG and l-methionine help, folate cures me being weepy and depressed, B12 gets my brain working, etc.

    And if you do feel its a neurotransmitter imbalance, tyrosine, tryptophan, and GABA can be quite powerful. I had no dopamine and 6g of tyrosine daily got me off the couch from an unmotivated slump recently...

    You don't have to feel anxious and depressed. You do need to figure out what's throwing your mood off and fix it. It is NOT a deficiency of any psychiatric drug, that's for sure....
     
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  17. SueJohnPat

    SueJohnPat Sue

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    I feel this often. When I feel well I get excited . Had 2" normal" days . Then crashed Sat when weather changed . Recovering today.
    I have been doing better but ... then I overdo it . Ugh. I am not that severe anymore and have been slowly recovering . When I feel well I " forget" and just want to get every once of joy from a good day.
    I get excited that I can go to the supermarket by myself
     
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  18. tudiemoore

    tudiemoore Senior Member

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    Wow! I didn't know I would find this!
    I have an appointment in two weeks with a psychiatrist, referred by my neurologist!
    I actually laughed when he brought this up. Don't you think I would know this by now?

    I can understand his thoughts on this. Just exactly as you have said, I am very, sometimes very, upbeat about plans and coping with all of life's issues when my fatigue and brainfog are not around. And just as you say, these swoop down and I see the realities. I am prone to mentally elaborate so I take the reality and expand on it.

    My doctor asked if I would see the psychiatrist for a onetime appointment to review my medication (Adderall for my ADD). I must say, I respect him for this. I was taking this medication when I when I moved here so he continued this.
    He is not a new kid on the block, medically speaking, and that makes it all the more interesting to me.

    Earlier in my CFS, I would call friends to make plans for entertaining and activities in my upbeat excitement.
    Then I called on the planned day and explain that I couldn't do these. Never had any real questions.
    Another of the realities of being "bi-polar", no questions.
    I truly hope you are enjoying days on the upswing, for whatever anyone wants to call it!

    tudiemoore
     
  19. SueJohnPat

    SueJohnPat Sue

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    I am now doing mold avoidance.
    If I start feeling lousy I " decontaminate "take a shower change clothes leave the house. If the sun is out this makes a big difference.
    This i know is almost impossible to do in a crash but it has worked at times.
    I am just starting out doing this but I am improving. If I have really bad " crazy" mood sometimes I now associate it with exposure.
    I did have success with a " sabbatical" .
    Had no problems at all for 3 weeks in Death Valley area. Then back to NJ three weeks later CFS back.
     
  20. Pen2

    Pen2 Support, Good Medicine.

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    ember: 11795"]When I am feeling well I am excited about life. I want to make plans to do all sorts of things, and I fully intend on doing all of them. Then the bottom falls out and PEM sucks the life out of me, and everything I wanted to do just a few days before is no longer possible for me. Everything that I was hoping and dreaming to accomplish all of a sudden seems overwhelming and too big to tackle.

    When the CFS crash hits, it is as if those days never existed and all I can concentrate on is how bad I feel. I hate life, I hate everything. I just want to die. The crashes take longer and longer to recover from the older I get and they seem to come closer and closer together.

    Depression is normal in people with chronic illnesses like CFS. I have been dismissed many times as just having depression when it was so much more than that. But bipolar disorder is a whole different story from depression. I feel like two different people at times. Does anyone else feel bipolar-ish[/QUOTE]

    Your bi-polar statement was one that got me looking into PR! Yes I feel the same way. On better days I'm so sure I can do all these things, get excited, happy, love the birds, the blue sky..etc etc. I even get ready to call my friend for a horseback riding lesson. Than I crash....to much emotion I guess..., I can't do horseback riding, no way. Feel down, sad. We try to be positive but many realities kick at us....so making us feel down. Oh Ya, I relate!
     

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