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Article: Person with ME/CFS Takes His Life: A Good-bye to Patrick Kelly

Discussion in 'Phoenix Rising Articles' started by Phoenix Rising Team, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. Phoenix Rising Team

    Phoenix Rising Team

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  2. Sushi

    Sushi Moderator and Senior Member Albuquerque

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    Thanks so much, Cort for writing this and linking us all pages that give everyone more appreciation of this wonderful man. I didn't know whether I could give his "real name"--I'm glad you did. It is another way of honoring this man who meant so much to so many of us and whose loss we can't accept.

    Sushi
  3. Googsta

    Googsta Doing Well

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    A beautiful tribute Cort, thankyou so much. I did not have the pleasure of knowing Patrick, but given the outpouring of greif on Phoenix alone, he was a very unique & precious soul.
    Little Bluestem and Firestormm like this.
  4. Sallysblooms

    Sallysblooms P.O.T.S. now SO MUCH BETTER!

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    Really nice Cort! Rest in Peace Patrick. I didn't know you but I miss you anyway....
    Firestormm and Googsta like this.
  5. Cort

    Cort Phoenix Rising Founder

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    I feel the same way...I feel like I wish I had known him....and his death is rather chilling honestly, given how talented he was and how hard he obviously worked at being well and keeping up as good a mindset as possible.
  6. Xandoff

    Xandoff Michael

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    Thank you Cort for sharing all of this with all of us. It is important that we all send peace and love to Patrick and his family.
  7. richvank

    richvank Senior Member

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    Patrick was the first person to try Valcyte and the methylation protocol together, back in late 2007. He found that the symptoms were too severe, so he dropped the methylation treatment until he had finished the Valcyte treatment. In 2009 he tried the methylation treatment again, for several months. I think he was still trying a version of it in 2011. He kept trying, because he read of the success that some others were having on the internet groups. Sadly, it did not seem to work for him. I don't know why. Perhaps his body was deficient in something that was needed. I hate it when we lose anybody, and he was really a wonderful guy. We have to figure this disorder out.

    Rich
  8. SpecialK82

    SpecialK82 Senior Member

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    What a beautiful account of Patrick's life, heartfelt condolences to his family and friends.
  9. Nielk

    Nielk

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    Thank you Cort for this write up. It gives me a feeling of getting to know him - in death - while I didn't know him before. I'm at a loss for words about
    How a young person who had such an uplifting attitude came to this desperation. Two days before, he wrote on his fb page - status: grateful? He must have already made up his mind and made peace with it. What a great loss!
  10. Cort

    Cort Phoenix Rising Founder

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    Rivka noted that when she had been doing better - much better! - and then pushed too far and had a bad relapse - that was really difficult to handle. I wonder if he experienced something similar? In Dec she said he was doing much better - even lifting weights.

    I remember that people engaging in torture sometimes give their prisoners great meals - and sometimes that's what gets them to break...its apparently devastating to go between the two states...you can get used to one state but to go through the highs and lows of both is really difficult.

    Who knows? It's something to consider if you start experiencing much improved health and then start fading...you may go through a really rough spot.
    Little Bluestem likes this.
  11. Esperanza

    Esperanza

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    This is devestating news. I exchanged a few posts with Patrick on another board years ago - he seemed a kind, funny and intelligent man. Such a great loss - terribly sad.

    My thoughts and prayers are with Patrick - may he rest in peace - and his family.

    Esperanza x
  12. InvertedTree

    InvertedTree Senior Member

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    Thank you Cort for writing this. This is such a loss for our community. I remember him well. When I was first diagnosed and started posting on prohealth he impressed me with how positive he was in the face of this illness. I don't really have words. May he be at peace...
  13. Carrigon

    Carrigon Senior Member

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    When I knew him, the thing we talked about most was the work and crash cycle. And how horribly depressing it was when you think you're getting better only to have the rug yanked out from under you yet again. But he was a fighter. And he kept on fighting. I don't know what happened. Somewhere in there, he just couldn't deal with it anymore. I hope he's at peace now. And I feel terrible for his family.
  14. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    Nods.. I agree. When I had complete remission for a couple of years then suddenly started crashing. The whole situation hit me FAR HARDER then it had the first time even thou I didnt go back to my original severe level.

    People may think someone was lucky to gone throu a level of improvement or even a remission but it soo sucks loosing everything all over again for a second time and esp cause you know more about what you are possibly in for again, second time round..

    I think there needs to be more awknowledgement of just how hard that can emotionally/mentally be and the possibility of maybe an increased suicide risk at that time. It truely just makes one want to just give up.

    No one seems to really know if that is what happened to Patrick or not and if it was what finally pushed him over that edge but its certainly a possibility.

    I cant remember ever communicating with Patrick but it is sad to hear he was trying so hard to find something to help... only to end up feeling he couldnt continue on any further.

    RIP Patrick and condolences to his family
    Firestormm likes this.
  15. Don Quichotte

    Don Quichotte Don Quichotte

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    Recovery, in itself, can be a hard and painful process.
  16. ramakentesh

    ramakentesh Senior Member

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    Sad news. Very sorry to hear.
  17. ramakentesh

    ramakentesh Senior Member

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    I have a relapsing remitting course and although i cant really speak for others, I do find that often you feel like your life is back on track and things are looking positive it can be a very 'oh no, not again' moment when it returns.
  18. sianrecovery

    sianrecovery Senior Member

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    I feel a great sadness on hearing this news - another kind, brave fellow traveller who quite understandably couldnt take anymore suffering. Travel on in the light Patrick.
    Thank you Cort for making sure his death did not go unnoticed by his community.
    Wayne likes this.
  19. Merry

    Merry Senior Member

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    My sympathy to his family and friends. By all accounts, Patrick was an exceptional person, very kind to others struggling with the same illness.
  20. BEG

    BEG Senior Member

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    Condolences to the family and those who loved him, in their time of loss. To Patrick, I'm so sorry you felt that leaving this earth was your only way out of your life. I trust you found what you needed.

    "So every soul goes on, learning what questions
    will count, seeing a life slowly take shape,
    placing light against dark, dark against light,
    patiently as a painter, always losing and finding."

    from Losing and Finding (the excerpt above from a poem of the same name), by Karen Fiser, also a PWC.

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