Redrachel, think its a meditation on reality thing. The more you reveal of who you are and give yourself the space to be angry or upset and really hear your voice -- the less likely you will work on placating others around you. It takes way to say no and shut up to guilt or if you still have conversations with others, to turn that down and focus on the hurt.. I ask myself what is underneath that? Like I hate my brother. But I'm really angry with him talking incessantly and being an unsafe person. So I'm scared of him bullying me. I don't want to get hurt or have to be sucked into another's worldview but want to accept myself. Its vital to listen to yourself, even if no one is listening to you. I am unable to think with noise around me so it really affects me. I'm pissed at my brother but breaking it down helps me see why and let go better. Its his fault he's a prick but me managing what I will put up with is important too.