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Anybody Here Know the Tarot?

Discussion in 'Spirituality and ME/CFS' started by Dreambirdie, Sep 13, 2011.

  1. leela

    leela Slow But Hopeful

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    Hi Allie,

    That is from the Hanson-Roberts deck, I've had it since I was a teen.

    Once in high school, I was looking at the cards by myself, when a kid unfamiliar with Tarot came in.
    When I explained more or less what it was, he asked me to read for him. Using the "gypsy" technique we were talking about above, I laid out the cards and started talking. Suddenly he bolted up, furious, yelling at me about how could I know these things, what kind of horrible trick is this, etc. He didn't leave me time to explain it was *he* doing all the work (making the connections.) He stormed out really angry with me! That was my first lesson in the power of the subconscious, and how some minds keep it that way on purpose.

    And yes, for those of us trying to remain connected to our true selves, it takes time to relax out of the decades of habitually relying on our thoughts, feelings, and circumstances for comfort or assurance. We've had years of practice believing they defined us or would bring us comfort. Its really a moment by moment thing, and that's why we are all here together--to remind ourselves and each other continuously to return to the present moment and connect with our inner supermum :)

    We naturally stray in and out as we learn to drop the conditioning and connect to the eternal now. That's why it's so nice to wander into a "room" like this and see quite clearly my fellow companions on this path, and how easy it is to support and be supported as the tides of recognition and remembrance ebb and flow.
  2. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Hey Leela--

    I'm following most of what you said, except a couple things.

    "for those of us trying to remain connected to our true selves, it takes time to relax out of the decades of habitually relying on our thoughts, feelings, and circumstances for comfort or assurance." I don't understand why relying on feelings would be a bad thing or a false comfort...? (my word--false) In my case, getting RE-connected to my feelings, intuitions and instincts has been a big step forward in my inner process. Having grown up in an abusive home, and having repeatedly been given the message that my feelings were "WRONG," I had a lot of inner work to do to reclaim these lost parts of myself. Once I did reclaim them, and gave myself permission to own and express them as needed, it became crystal clear to me how RIGHT my feelings and intuitions actually were, and how much easier it was to move through life with them as my primary navigation tool. I rarely second guess myself anymore. I just "KNOW" when something feels right to me or not.

    Also, when you say "that's why we are all here together--to remind ourselves and each other continuously to return to the present moment and connect with our inner supermum," that word SUPERMUM really creeps me out. My association to it has to do with driving oneself too hard to be super-human and perfect... which really has been the kiss of death for me in the past. I confess that I once was a very driven perfectionist, and am so glad to have given THAT up. (Actually, this disease gave me no choice.) I would not recommend being a super anything to anyone. Being in the present moment, on the other hand is a much less stressful option.
  3. leela

    leela Slow But Hopeful

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    Hi Dreambirdie,

    I have a bad habit of over-editing myself. I distilled a much longer post to something that was perhaps unclear in my desire to be concise :)

    When I mentioned not relying on feelings etc, I meant to point to the difference between having a keen awareness of them (as you express, DB)
    as they arise within that very awareness, and getting so wrapped up in them that you go down a deep rabbit hole and see yourself and the world through that collapsed-in point of view.

    The sky is a good example: fluffy clouds arise and then fade, storm clouds gather, crackle and weep all over the place and then are dispelled by the sun. The basic pure expanse of sky always remains stable and the same through all of it--the sky never thinks, I hate this cloud, what if it lasts forever? Or, Oh I wish day would never end, why does night have to fall again? The vast, infinite sky never mistakes itself for the things and qualities that appear within it, and is never changed or altered by those temporary appearances. Nor does it shun those appearances, try to keep some secret, try to display select others, or worry about whether one is good or one is bad.

    I ought'nt to have used supermum as a metaphor, even with the winkie, b/c we all agree on not overdoing or overexpecting. I used it referencing Allie's post to distinguish between that expectation-y one, and our inner stability: our inner loving mother, our inner strength that never ever changes no matter what the circumstances, that wide-open, compassionate awareness that is able to see and include everything that arises, like the sky, without being altered or diminished by it. Even the thoughts about the thoughts (this feeling is bad, this is good, i am afraid of that one, this one makes me seem weak) appear within awareness, and when we rely on the vast openness and stability of awareness, all those things can arise without unsettling us, and we'll naturally know exactly what to do. We won't react, we'll respond easily and naturally.

    The very thing that notices the emotions, the challenging thoughts, the difficult circumstances, the happy ones--without that very awareness you would not be noticing them in the first place! The thoughts and feelings are themsleves proof of your awareness :)

    All kinds of phenomena arise within awareness like clouds arise it the sky. They are equally a part of it. What's up to us is what do we rely on--our innate stability, or the random, ever shifting appearances within it?

    So what I was talking about was how we support each other in re-learning to rely on the awareness itself, which includes everything that arises within it, without becoming identified with, or blindsided by, the phenomena that appear in that vast, unending awareness which is the basis of our being.

    Much like the sky, our awareness has no end, it is not separate from anything, not separate from the clouds, the earth, the rain or the rainbow that appears within it. All is included, nothing is left out.

    You are that awareness, that pure space. The stability you find in yourself comes not from the thoughts, feelings, and circumstances which are ever-changing, but through the clear awareness that perceives them. It gives you the option of responding rather than reacting. When you are stable in knowing your true self, you can respond to a feeling (DB, you might make art out of it) rather than reacting (mentally abusing yourself for having the feeling, blaming someone else, etc.)

    It's the difference between trying to constantly manage, label, sort, and control all the feelings and thoughts, and simply letting them be exactly as they are, while taking a moment to remember what is truly stable and constant and connect with that right in the midst of the maelstrom of feelings.

    Expanding the experience to rely on that vast awareness, instead of habitually contracting the focus to a particular point of view that arises within it, takes time. We've had many years of practice believing that these appearances define us, believing that we are all separate from everything else. It takes time and practice and the support of other awake people to continually
    return our focus to that incredibly powerful, totally stable, wide-open, naturally compassionate glorious being we truly are and always were.
  4. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Wow, Leela. I am so glad I asked!

    Thanks for such an articulate, poetic and inspirational response.
    I really couldn't have said it better (or as well :rolleyes:) myself, and am so glad I didn't have to attempt it. :cool::Retro smile::Retro smile:
  5. leela

    leela Slow But Hopeful

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    :yinyang: :D :yinyang:
  6. Lily

    Lily *Believe*

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    Me Too!!!;)
  7. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    I was thinking about this at the beach this afternoon--lots of fluffy clouds, like the one posted below. I will admit that I would have preferred less wind, less clouds and more heat from the sun buried in the (IMO obstructive) clouds... I did attempt at least for a while to accept what was before me without complaining too much about it, but in the end I FAILED. I got chilled (not good as I am fighting an infection), and had to go home because of the damned freakin' clouds. OH well!

    So... my thought, after pondering on my cold butt on the way home in the car, is that sometimes it really is okay to be a flawed and reactive human. Isn't it? In my ideal version of myself, I would like to always be willing to be in the present moment, and graciously observe (without too much editorializing and/or reacting) the stream of various images and feelings parading through my usually over-crowded mind. But then, living up to that standard of enlightenment can feel rather restrictive and even stifling at certain moments, especially when I am in an overwhelmed state. And then, I just want to VENT my piss off, or even send out a good wailing scream... which I am sure I will do when that need arises.

    I am so glad I am not attached to being perfect (or enlightened) any more. :Retro smile::cool::cool: What a relief!


    [​IMG]
  8. leela

    leela Slow But Hopeful

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    It's all perfect, just as it is, DB. "Enlightenment" isn't some thing out there, that you have to "get".

    Awareness is just noticing there are clouds, noticing you don't like them in that particular moment, noticing you feel cold, and then recognising that an appropriate response to that is to go inside.

    See, you are enlightened, just as you are :)
  9. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    I'm so glad it's that easy! :victory::victory::victory: :Retro smile:
  10. allyann

    allyann Senior Member

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    Fantastic discussion Leela and Dreambirdie.

    Living in the now and accepting what the universe has provided to me has been the hardest lesson of all for me.

    I was a control freak. I had a lot of perfectionist tendencies although only when I could do the job properly. I hated it if anyone criticised me or said I wasn't doing a good enough job.

    My spiritual journey has helped me understand that I cannot control life. I can however be a part of it and enjoy the things it gives me. Before I didn't have time to 'smell the roses' and so much of life passed me by.

    While my life is so much more limited now, I see far more in it that I am grateful for. Right now (and I mean this very second), I have a wonderful little person inside me poking and prodding me to let me know how wonderful a feeling it is to be creating such a precious life. I have a wonderful husband who holds me when I feel like crap and let's me cry on his shoulder until I feel better. The sun is shining and I have my beautiful beaglier Bella cuddling up to me.

    Gee those stressful work days full of meaningless politics and corporate greed seem so long ago :)

    Card for today is very appropriate. This is what I call my going with the flow card :)

    Attached Files:

  11. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Hey there Allie--

    I can so relate to the perfectionistic tendencies. I stuck to them even after my health collapse. Old habits, and the deeper issues behind them, die REALLY Hard! I was never a part of the corporate world, but I acted as if every thing I did (whether it was cleaning the house or planting a garden or writing a term paper) was going to determine my worth as a human being. It sure used up a LOT of energy, and was counter-productive to healing my body. AT this point I am very glad to have given up such high standards of perfectionism. My house is messier, my yard is full of weeds and fallen leaves, and frankly I don't give a damn! It's a big victory for me to just not care.

    It's great to hear that you have a lot of comfort and love around you right now. Good for you!
    And that 2 of Pentacles looks like a very harmonious and balanced card, like you said it's about being in the flow of the moment, which it sounds like you are.
  12. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Here's three card reading I did today... more complicated than just the one card I am used to. :confused:

    I am feeling a little anxious about my tooth extraction this week, plus I just found out my tenant is moving, so I will have to deal with looking for a new person, plus I am fighting off a bit of a cold/flu thing. SO I wanted a general reading on all this "stuff." I have been sticking to picking cards of the Major Arcana, so I can learn these, before I move on to the entire deck.

    The cards I picked are: The Universe, The Empress, and Strength. These are my own cards, from the Haindl deck.

    My feeling about the cards I picked is that I need to draw on universal (spirit) energy and inner strength, while staying grounded in a nurturing place for myself.
    Anyone else's input is welcome and appreciated.


    Tarot October 2 2011.jpg
  13. allyann

    allyann Senior Member

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    Very impressive cards. This layout tells a story to me. The universe is giving you the raw strength and support that you need. You need to use your Empress skills - third eye is really popping out to me, to draw on these messages and support from the Universe to give you the inner strength that you need. You are also right about The Empress also showing you the need to nurture yourself so I get the sense that you need to worry about what you can control and not exhaust yourself with the unknown.
  14. Nielk

    Nielk

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    Hebrew twist on things.

    The universe card has a Hebrew letter Tav which is the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It connotes the complieion of creation. The world was created with the attribute of truth. Therefore. the last letter of the account of Creation: rectification, the seal of truth.

    The Empress card has the letter Daled. Daled is the fourth letter - it connotes having nothing of her own.
    The Talmud describes a situation where one man is carrying a heavy object and another man appears to be helping him by placing his hands under the object, when in truth the first man is carrying all the weight. The second man is referred to as "a merely apparent helper." So are we, explains the Ba'al Shem Tov, in relation to God. Ultimately, all one's strength comes from Above.

    The Strength card has a Hebrew letter Tet. It is the 9th letter. The tet is the initial letter of the word tov, "good." The form of the tet is "inverted," thus symbolizing hidden, inverted good--as expressed in the Zohar: "its good is hidden within it."

    So I would read it as even if you don't have things of your own, The Universe will shine it's light upon you. It will give you the seal of truth an that is because you have the trait of inner goodness.
  15. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Thanks Allie and Niek, for your great insights.

    I am taking it ALL IN. :hug:
  16. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    I had my TOOTH EXTRACTION yesterday, which was, in a word, TORTUROUS. The tooth roots were curled toward each other with bone in between, and so it took an act of intense violent excavation to crack and yank it out of my mouth. The entire ordeal lasted 2 and 1/2 hours, luckily with some breaks in between the yanking. I had a long acupuncture treatment last night, which helped alleviate some of the pain and trauma. But in spite of that I still feel rather trashed today, toxic from all the exposures in the dentist office plus 4 injections of carbocaine, wiped out, and beat up.

    I actually pulled the HERMIT card again, but what I REALLY feel like is the card below.


    [​IMG]
  17. Nielk

    Nielk

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    Wow. Dreambirdie, that sounds awful. Hope you have a quick recovery. The picture above tells it all. I feel your pain. Hopefully, you can pull those swords out of you one by one - the great warrior that you are!:hug:
  18. leela

    leela Slow But Hopeful

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    So sorry to hear it was so hard, DB.
    We are sending you love, and etheric helpers to gently pull out those ten swords!
  19. allyann

    allyann Senior Member

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    Sorry to hear it was so painful. I hope it starts to feel better soon. I see things picking up for you now you have lost that toxic tooth :)
  20. Dreambirdie

    Dreambirdie work in progress

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    Thanks Allie, Leela and Nielk~~~for the kind and loving thoughts. Very much appreciated.

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