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Another "I'm sorry" post...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle Management' started by Raesiahna, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. bigbird

    bigbird

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    Hi Muffin,

    Thank you for your concern. Without going into it all I've tried living with family members here in Australia but it was worse. I have a difficult family and I have a difficult illness and it also makes me difficult and we just all don't mix very well.

    And no way could I afford to live alone even with the disability pension I would get should I leave my husband. It doesn't cover basic expenses let alone the medical care I'm able to access now.

    I'm looking at ways out and hopefully will find one but I have to get a bit better first. I can't leave now as I just couldn't cope with all that's involved. I could, when I'm a bit better, leave him, pack up a few things, get the disability pension and go live with my sister in Italy for a while. (Australia has a reciprocal health agreement with italy -- we are entitled to their public health care when there as they are entitled to ours). That would only be a rather temporary solution but as I said I have to be a bit better to do such a thing. I wouldn't be 'leaving him' per se. Just taking a break and hopefully while taking that break being able to see some more options for myself.

    Plus I still see parts of the man I married in him and am hoping that while I'm making my plans to leave -- trying to find a way -- that he will wake up to himself and stop what he's doing. But I'm not banking on it. No way.
     
  2. muffin

    muffin Senior Member

    Messages:
    940
    Likes:
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    USA!
    I already knew the answers on moving in with friends/family as it is very common problem. Family can make things worse. My family, though decent, still does not understand how sick I am. My mother has never read a word on my disease! My siblings don't get it and it seems they think I'm normal because I RUN when they all need me - and somehow I do get them back in shape and then collapse for weeks.

    Continue to look for ways out and away from him. He is not the man you married. Remember, "for better or worse, in sickness and health" - he's not holding up his vows, typical for many males with wives who have CFIDS according to my internist.
    But, you have to do what's best for you and see if you can't move to be with your sister in Italy. OR, in with a group of other sick people who are calm and nice. How do you do that? See about housing and finding those with ME (and NOT drug/alcohol/mental issues as you don't need that).

    I hate for you to be in this situation. But I know what goes on. Keep thinking of ways OUT and away from him. In Australia, would they provide the sick spouse with extra money? Does he make enough that that is an option or would he get nasty and quit his job just to spite you and keep money down low? What are the divorce laws in Australia and how do they play for you? IF you moved to Italy, what social services money do they have that you could tap into? Have to keep thinking on this one. Hugs.
     

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