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always feel like something bad is going to happen gloom and doom

Discussion in 'Cognition' started by hurtingallthetimet, May 16, 2012.

  1. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    anyone else feel like this? ive asked psych doctor he says its the depression and anxiety but i often feel crazy...

    i always feel like something horrible and bad is going to happen...gloom and doom and darkness..

    im on medications and they do help some...psych doctor acts like its just how it is with me and how i will probably always be...but i get tired of being scared..i didnt use to be like this before being ill...if anyone knew me before i was ill and now they probably wouldnt think i am the same person...

    i not only look a great great deal different..but i use to be so optimistic...i was the glass is half full...always look for the positive...everything even death has a positive lesson to learn...i was the person who tried to brighten everyones days...always smiling...and bubbly...

    now im just scared and tired and always feeling like something bad is going to happen...why did this happen after i got ill? wondering if this happened to anyone else..
     
  2. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Do you know if you were like that before those medications?

    I hate that the psych doc says that. IMO the doc should take it seriously and give you another med to feel better, or replace one of your meds. I would try another doc. IMO that's a big deal and you shouldn't have to feel that way.
     
  3. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    hello sickofsickness i have to say your kitty cat picture always makes me happy..

    i wasnt like this before i got ill...ive tried alot of medications the ones im on now work best with the least side effects..
    i like the doctor but must admit one of biggest reasons is he understands the social phobias and doesnt make me see him that often...im embarassed to say i have a thing about parking..i like certain places...certain time of day....on certain side of road...etc..its wierd i know.....and he has hard parking in my opinon...but hes easy to get to as far as my safety zone to drive...

    he says hes treid so many medications he feels its as good as i will get at this time...to go to another psych i would have to drive on interstate and that is a huge phobia of mine...its up there with my fear of snakes....and he has tried alot of medications and they caused side effects one of which sent me to emergency room twice. im weird with medications.

    i thought maybe these illness makes others feel the way i do with the gloomy doom feeling? as i said i use to be very optimistic very cheerful person...bouncy full of energy..happy go lucky...but when i got ill it was like so many different symptoms, medical problems came too...i just didnt know if thats normal...
     
  4. Ocean

    Ocean Senior Member

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    I also wonder is there any chance one of your medications could be causing this? I had that feeling once and it was from a medication. Did that symptom come on before you were on any medicine or after?
     
  5. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Yes I meant was there a time that you were ill, but not on these medications. To know if these medications are the problem or not. IMO it could be caused by meds. Some kinds of meds, with just 2 or 4 doses, change how I am. There are some where I am very irritable and it is so bad, like I would go around at least half the time very mad. Some where I can't hardly stop crying, like the entire day nearly crying. So I am sure there are some that could do gloom and doom.

    I get depressed and I have a lot of anxiety, and some paranoia. I like to avoid socializing and going out. I don't have the gloom and doom you talk about. Sometimes I might get more down and think bad thoughts like I'll never be healthy. That is like a gloom and doom but it only lasts from 1/2 day to a week.

    I am glad he is a good doc overall. It is hard when you need more than 1 or 2, to get a good balance and not have bad interactions :(

    Sorry about your driving and parking problems, at least you can drive some :) Some PWCs can't handle driving at all. I can understand that too.
     
  6. Sushi

    Sushi Moderator and Senior Member Albuquerque

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    Also, most of the neurotransmitters seem to come from the gut and most of us have gut problems (with or without symptoms) which could affect your neurotransmitters.

    Sushi
     
    ggingues likes this.
  7. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    hello ocean and sickofsickness...no it was after being ill...it wasnt after the medicaitions hard to say if some or one made it worse...but its like when i got ill....i slowly started being more depressed and anxious...like most didnt get diagnosed for awhile..and when did i was very confused by one doctor telling me these illness werent real..they were just depression, in peoples heads..others saying it was "fake" illness...so confusing..and i kept getting more ill...

    im nervous all the time...my kids driving i have panic attacks..its scary..everything changed once i got ill...the weight gain..couldnt work..couldnt do things i use to love...i was truly busy 24/7 before being ill...not bragging but i really was an extremely active busy person...now im in constant pain and exhaustion....so many other symptoms and problems came with these illness..

    thanks for the pep talk sickofsickness about my driving and parking..im so embarassed that i have that obession with parking a certain way...on a certain side of street...
     
  8. SickOfSickness

    SickOfSickness Senior Member

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    Well I think there are many who have anxiety and depression when they never had it before, with sleep problems, chemical sensitivity, other sensitivities, and the other nasty symptoms we know about :( Yours could be worse than just depression.
     
  9. nanonug

    nanonug Senior Member

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    Would you mind sharing the psych medications you are on?
     
  10. caledonia

    caledonia

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    It sounds like you're having anxiety. I have a lot of experience with it. Sorry you're having this, because it's certainly no fun.

    You could try either EFT or EMDR, both of which are good for phobias. You wouldn't need to take any additional medicine, which is a plus.

    You can learn to do EFT yourself for free. I use it to collapse anxiety/panic attacks as needed. Works great for me. http://eft.mercola.com/
     
  11. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    This illness can cause depression (esp situational depression) and anxiety. Many find that those symptoms too happen more when they over do things... this illness not only can be affecting our physical bodies post excertionally but our heads too.

    I too think you need to find another psych doctor.. sounds like he's given up on you. "Feeling gloom, doom and darkness".... someone needs to keep trying to help you there (and no that isnt a symptom most of us are left with). It is quite possible to be happy while still having ME/CFS.

    Be aware there are many different things in ME which can affect us emotionally (deficiencies, food intollerences etc etc, it may turn out to be benefitical to be looking into other areas for help too).

    Im with what the other said.. take care that your drugs arent making you worst in some ways.

    My own "feeling crazy" thou I didnt get depressed with it.. was more so about the neuroexcitability in this illness (something which wasnt treated by anti-depressants but rather in slowing down and protecting the nervous system reactivity).
     
  12. ukxmrv

    ukxmrv Senior Member

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    I get the impression from some of your posts, Hurtingallthetime, how alone and unsupported you sometimes sound. It's not surprising then I think that you would also feel this sense of doom.

    If you became physically well tomorrow by some miracle the doom and gloom feeling might go as well. Similarly if you have lots of loving support and less stress around you that might help.
     
  13. Googsta

    Googsta Doing Well

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    It is possible to have ME/CFS as well as major depression or an anxiety disorder.

    It is not helped when you have ongoing issues with family, friends, doctors, therapists & health of course!
    You have mentioned all these things in past posts.
    You have alot on your plate!:hug:

    Meds are sometimes necessary but they don't change the situation you are in.
    A persons problems will still remain, we all have to deal with them sooner or later. Sooner is better - believe me!

    Things I personally found helpful: self help books, Behavioural Therapy/CBT, Relationship Books & a good Psychologist. It can become too overwhelming for many people if they try to face these problems without professional support.
     
  14. Sallysblooms

    Sallysblooms P.O.T.S. now SO MUCH BETTER!

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    Being ill makes us use up Serotonin. Supplements work great for that.
     
  15. Christopher

    Christopher Senior Member

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    Examples?
     
  16. SOC

    SOC Senior Member

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    [quote="hurtingallthetimet, post: 266161, member: 4677"
    im on medications and they do help some...psych doctor acts like its just how it is with me and how i will probably always be...[/quote]

    Either you have a very bad psych doc or s/he's not communicating well with you. Gloom and doom is not normal. It may be that the psych doc is trying to say (correctly or not) that meds cannot do any more for you and that you'll need talk therapy to deal with the rest of your depression and anxiety.

    Or perhaps the message is that you need to change the situation you are in or you won't be able to get away from gloom and doom. Or... or... or... Whatever the message is supposed to be, it sounds like it's not clear to you.

    In any case, I suggest you find another psych doc or at least talk to a different one to see if you get a more productive treatment plan. It sounds like you are suffering from severe depression and anxiety. I doubt it has to be that bad these days with the various meds and therapies available.
     
  17. free at last

    free at last Senior Member

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    Im Glad this was posted up. Your not alone hurting all the time, im also another that is filled with doom and gloom. Even when i have long periods of better health, ( which i now have ) But as example recently after not having the fluey feelings for a long time. My chest suddenly went into irratation. The sound of my voice dropped from the chest ( more bass in the sound ) . And i fell asleep after feeling panicky because i know this chest irratation, its what started the bad flu attacks many years ago. I then awoke feeling those fluey feelings i hate so much. I thought i may have picked up a cold.

    But No the chest irratation improved quickly. Within a few hours ? ) The fluey symptoms took longer, at least a couple of days. The point is these symptoms are similar to when the illness started many years ago, with the weird chest thing and temperatures of 102f.

    The virus is still there inside me. Because of these thoughts, Im always on the look out for illnesses that will make me suffer. or lose control. Thats what this illness can do to the mind. after repeated attacks of whatever this virus is, and does to our bodies. Im terrorfied of those sever attacks where fever is high, even though now the attacks are milder. happen very infrquently, and i recover quicker. Never the less the fear just will not go away.

    To make matters worse, i had a bad flu attack, a few years after being really ill with ME ( i know this was flu because my partner caught it ) and it was all over the news with everyone coming down with it.

    That particular time, is etched in my memory, after i collapsed on the third day. and could not get off the floor for two days. it was awful. The panic of that time. ( and the many high temperatures i had when ME started years before this ) has left me in a situation where, i run from people coughing, will not go out for 6 months of the year for fear of getting bad flu again.

    When i had this mild crash days ago. the fear that it might be flu was so strong. i felt utter panic. I wanted to cry with fear. but im a man, and we are not supposed to be like this ? I went into 3 dreams the night of this crash, each one involved catching the flu. I felt ill in the dream. i felt ill when i awoke. ( weak arms and legs, bright blurry disturbed vision, slightly hot ) speech stuttering. staring a lot into blank space. the damm poisened feeling i always get with this illness when my immune system seems to swicth on. in response to something. in this case. the respiratory virus that started all this Whatever that turns out to be ( mr lipkin take note )

    So i understand your doom and gloom. To me its like a phobia that i can not shake. its always there. and will feel me with terror when i crash again. I often think, is it my ME ? or have i got flu. When i get no worse after hours of sleeping and laying down. i relax a lot. the terror subsides. But untill then forget it. i just want to cry in fear. I hate this illness, being raped by a torturer would be no worse.
     
    rosie26 likes this.
  18. hurtingallthetimet

    hurtingallthetimet Senior Member

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    thanks everyone fro the replies and advice i do appreciate each and everyone alot....i do listen and take what wisdom and knowledge is offered so kindly to me..

    .free at last im sorry to hear what you have been through....but it was like a llight bulb went off...maybe my feeling of gloom and doom and alwasy something bad is going to happen is from the phobia and fear of all the trauma and loses ive dealt with these illness..and like most there are many many many.....i keep getting sicker and sicker and the truth i am afraid i will die from these illness...and i love my kids more than i love anything in the world and i dont want to leave them yet....im tired of being ill....im tired of crying daily....im tired of the crashes because i need to get food for my kids or cook them dinner...im tired and embarassed of being ill....with an illness most dont belive in or care about....makes me feel more crazy.
    .and im sorry i dont know if i copied and pasted correctly but i wanted to highlight what you said becasue it really felt like maybe im not crazy, that someone else hit it on the head.... i was starting to get worried i must admitt when others didint have the same feeling of this with the illness because i really thought that it must be another symptom of these life changing illness...and that it come with the illness.....trust me i dont want anytone to ever feel lke i do...and i am truly happy that most dont have these feelings ...but thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with me...

    it makes sense.....doesnt mean i shouldnt keep seeking help i know ...but at least i know im not alone.....
     
    rosie26 likes this.
  19. taniaaust1

    taniaaust1 Senior Member

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    I know you've at least got one older child as you went to a graduation recently.... why dont you feel deserving to be looked after when you are ill? Children can do dinner and it teaches them good cooking skills.

    Is it embarrassment which is stopping you from handing your chores over to others? or do you base your self worth on what you are able to do? (Im not wanting you to answer these personally questions on the board or to me..but they are just things you could consider)

    Im wondering if you've tried working with your psychologist over the embarrassment you feel over being ill? (a good psychologist would try to help you with the embarrassment over something you cant change).


    It isnt unusual with this illness.. doom and gloom isnt unsual with ANY severe illness.

    I think everyone here probably has experienced some situational depression at times with some doom and gloom ..but for most of us its something we move throu when we learn how to cope better with this illness, learn how to have some control over our illness etc

    Does your psychologist work with you to help you develop good coping strageties for dealing with ME/CFS? (eg help you to learn to be okay with handing off your home jobs to your children and feeling okay about it.. and various other ways we all need to learn so we can deal with this illness better and be less sick). This is all the kind of thing your psychologist should be trying to work with you with.
     
  20. free at last

    free at last Senior Member

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    I feel your pain, i know what its like to feel scared sick, and alone with the illness. It might not help sorry if it does not but heres what i did when i was much nically worse than i am now. Sleep disturbance is one thing that helps the illness have total control. through the sickness, and anxiety that goes with it, often ME patients go into a bad pattern of very disturbed sleep. I did, it got so bad i was getiing about 4 hours deep sleep about every 48 at its worst. I wasnt a believer in anti deppresants helping. Mainly because even though yes i was deppressed ( how can someone not be when that sick ) If the illness was treated the depression would lift. So advice to take anti depressents felt like a insult to me. However, what i didnt bargian on was the drug amitriptyline. Has a chemical that mixes with our own bodys sleep chemical to produce a double knockout effect, But it only really works when taken just as you are about to sleep. if taken hours before it wears off and the effect im going to describe will not work. Right if 2 25mg Tablets are taken just as your going to sleep. If you then fall into a deep sleep. you will likely wake about 3 or 4 hours later, feeling like a tone of bricks. you will barely be able to lift your head off the pillow. just close your eyes and go back into a deep sleep. The first time this happened to me ( i was very ill and desperate at this time ) i got 6 hours sleep the first time. wow i thought, never knew that it had a side effect like that, so i did it again the next night, same thing happened. another 6 hours sleep. wow 12 hours out of 48. Well i kept doing this, and i kept sleeping. did it stop the illness ? no it did not. Did it help with the exhaustion, and lack of sleep collapse feeling you bet. and infact it was helping more than i realized even though i knew it was a miracle back then. Something else plz try. Every time the symptoms get worse. Fill a plate with many different types of salad veg, beetroot very red tomatoes, spinnach water cress, radish deep red pepper avacado. as may different types you can find and tolerate. with that put oily fish, i used smoke salmon, crab prawns ect,I also after reading how raw garlic was a natural anti viral, ( in a dish viruses will grow away from garlic ) chop one or two raw cloves on the salad. yes its hard to eat, but it will help against these viruses. If you cant eat a lot try half a tomatoe i radish small piece of beetroot, on and on untill all varities are on the plate. Its not the amount to start with thats important its the different types. as they each have there own chemicals and vitamins that can help fight viruses.. Do this everyday. or every other day. and especially when you feel really ill. eat as much as you can, untill you build up tolerance, I also too evening primrose oil. cod liver oil. a multivit. high strength vit C magnesium, and calcium. at first this should all be fine as your likely seriouly depleted in many of these things. but after a while cut back, because the food will also add these things. ( infact many other things the tablet form likely does not contain ) after about two years of this. i started recovering. it was slow, i didnt even realize it was happening at first, but it was, the combination of complete rest, natural anti viral ( garlic ) vitamin and chemical release into the body. will in time tilt the course of the illness. this will not cure cancer. but a persistent viral cause, will be eventually weakened. Because the body will become stronger, I got my life back hurting, i thought at one time i was going to die. In not positive out of this regime, what helped the most ( likely all of it ) but the food, and complete rest with hours and hours each day of deep sleep. repaired my damaged immune system. I know it did. Many say they can not tolerate amitriptyline, as causes drowsyness. well thats exactly what you want it to do. when you wake after taking it. it will take a few hours before that drowsyness wears off. do not be worried by that. those that tried it for a couple of days a few weeks can not comment on what it did for me. because it took ata least two years of doing all this to really start to make a big difference. At first it didnt stop the symptoms, but as the years rolled by. i noticed i was getting less crashes. they was weaker. and i recovered much faster. I can now go many weaks of being quite well. even though i still have the virus that started all this. But my immune system recovered. and sort of figured a balancing act with the virus. not allowing it total control anymore. I belive when the virus comes out of its dormant state. my immune system seems to put it back to bed, with just the right amount of immune attack. not too much. and not, less than is needed to do so. You will not be intirely cured if your ME was similar to mine. but you will recover 80 to 90 % If it works for you the way it did me. Sorry if my advice doesnt help. i belive it will. but i could be wrong. Sorry if im wrong. But i dont know how else to help you. and i can only tell you my life experiance. ive lived with this for about 17 years. the first 5 years were there worst. But people can recover from this. can recover from whatever i had. Be it ME/CFS PVFS or something else.
     

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