Hi all, I'm new here and feel pretty desperate. Not sure if Im posting at right place but here goes. I wonder if anyone can help me. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. For the past two and a half years I have been very ill with cfs, bed bound for one year but mostly housebound now. I initially had treatment with OHC in London doing their 90day programme which consists of 'stops' (like lightening process saying stop to thoughts), meditation, eft and relaxation. I've paid a small fortune and none of it has helped. In fact I developed a phobia to m.e thoughts and still can't get it out of my head that thoughts about m.e are causing the m.e. and if only I could stop thinking, I would recover. I am in such a stressed out state about it all and get such bad anxiety every time an m.e pops up, its just making me feel so ill. I've also spent the best part of two years meditating and relaxing which isn't working at all. I came across this website and realised that maybe it's not all my fault after all. Maybe im not responsible for causing m.e with my thoughts. I definetly won't be helping myself being in an anxious state all of the time but it seems to me that you guys on here have so many other ideas about what is causing m.e. I've tied myself in knots for years about this trying to get out of my head by practising mindfulness and the power of now by being present fully but I just can't do it. Maybe this illness isn't my fault after all? I'd be so grateful if anyone could help me. Warm wishes.