@trishrhymes generally I do things in a way so as not to piss him off. This is how I've been living for the last year. I avoid cooking sometimes if I know I won't have the energy to clean it up the same evening, even if I know I do have just enough energy to do the cooking. So I end up eating something shop bought rather than freshly cooked. I'm changing what I eat - eating less healthily - because of him. Because I'm afraid. I already hoard plates in my room for sometimes 3 or 4 days when things are bad. It's not ideal... The real problem isn't the washing up, it's him being controlling. Me avoiding pissing him off - that's me living in fear. When I'm scared I focus on the washing up stuff because I'm thinking about defending myself. But really, washing dishes is just the vehicle for him to exert control. A normal person wouldn't act like he does, if they were pissed off about washing up. A normal person would not get pissed off at the scale of what doesn't get done. One dish every so often. (I know... there's no such thing as a normal person.) @Alvin2 I don't think my phone has that much memory! It's ok, we avoid each other, so interactions aren't happening every day thankfully. My phone is within easy reach most of the time. BTW guys - the plot thickens. A new person is moving in... a new person that the bully interviewed, without telling me and the other girl that he was doing house viewings at all. I seriously doubt this new person knows about what's going on. I've tried to meet her and let her know so that she could make an informed decision about whether she wants to move in, but it's too late, she's moving in tomorrow. I'm going to have to tell her... I feel really sorry for her. Who would want to find out that they're moving in to a flat share where there's bullying going on? I'm not happy that a stranger is moving in and I had no say over who was chosen... but I'm going to have to let that go right now, too much else to fret about! ...I could just not tell her what's been happening... she could be under the illusion that everything is alright and that might make her happy... I don't want to spoil her happiness. I just wish I could have warned her. What would you do? I should warn her eventually though, for her safety... and this is a big thing in my life right now, and it would be going on in front of her, so it would be hard to miss.