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Out of Darkness Comes Light - mysteriously beautiful photographs from a bedbound sufferer

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By Penny Clare



"I stayed alone in the darkness and the impossible became possible" - anon


The bedsheets take flight I

I was mostly confined to bed in a dark room - for years, and years, and years.

At some point, in this isolated sea, I started taking photos. From my bed, in the dark. And my relationship to my illness and circumstances took on a different meaning and found creative expression. It was my way of creating movement.

The vast majority of my photos were shot with no artificial or natural daylight, though daylight was occasionally gleaned from a small opening or crack in the curtains or door.

What had been an atrocious impediment, severe light sensitivity, actually became a wonderful asset as I started to perceive different nuances and subtleties of light, depending on the time of day, season or level of my light sensitivity in any given moment. I began to explore hidden possibilities behind the mundane (awful) reality of my day-to-day existence.


The bedsheets take flight II
In my exhaustion I made no attempt whatsoever to move objects or to compose pictures or prettify myself for the camera. The snapshots capture fleeting chinks of light and mysterious beauty that remained unseen by anything or anyone other than the camera. The highly energised and dynamic images appear as if they've come from another world. They turned the facts of my illness inside out and upside down. They express what ought to be clear to everyone but rarely is acknowledged in our culture, that the essence of a human being experiencing profound illness and disability is untouched and unconquerable. They make their statements silently, without words of frustration or protest, which by any account I was too ill to make.

I had spent what seemed interminable years in a state where living and dying had become so merged that I could not actually fulfil either condition. Creating photographic images with just a couple of seconds worth of 'energy' helped me to feel more alive, it tipped the balance giving me sensations of movement and expansion when I viewed them. There is an ancient Mayan saying "out of darkness comes light". I think of my photos and smile.

None of these photos were engineered using photoshop techniques, though 'light fill' was used to reveal what lay hidden in the shade of the room.





Crown of pillows






The bed deconstructing into its elements






A fingernail celebrates New Year






Journey to the centre of the futon I






Journey to the centre of the futon II






Sunrise over planet duvet






White flag above my bed (apologies to Dido)






Sense of self goes up in flames






Light's umbilical






Three wishes






The river runs through me
'The river runs through me' is a self-portrait: Penny's eye is in the top left corner. She said "This is the first image I took. I felt so ill it was as if I was dying and no one in the outside world could see me and I wanted a way to document the depths of suffering people can go through."



Tweets and Facebook shares of the blog are welcome :)
Penny really wants to share this photo blog so people can get a window into the world of severe ME. So please do feel free to post an individual photo on facebook and twitter with a link back to this blog and mention Penny as the artist, (the link will be enough on twitter, given the limitations). Thanks
The blog link is http://phoenixrising.me/archives/21305
© Copyright Penny Clare. Please do not reproduce any images without permission


Penny no longer uses computers, but this email address wil be monitored on her behalf and messages will be passed on to her.




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Penny,
it's inspirational that you could make these radiantly lovely and ethereal images with such minimal means. They are worthy of comparison with the work of any other artist. I hope you gained emotional nourishment and a feeling of self fulfilment in making them.
Best wishes for your health,
Lynne.
 
I really do think these photos are amazing, so full of life and light despite the desperate conditons in which they were made.

Phoenix Rising doesn't get a huge amount of traffic at this time of year so if you like these photos, and this blog, please do share them.

Sharing on Phoenix Rising for the uninitated (me, until a few months ago)
blindingly obvious for the rest

You can only share from the blog itself, not from the Article thread page.

1. Click on the "Share" tab that floats down the left hand side
2. Click again to share on facebook, twitter etc
share.gif

Thank you!

If you want to send a picture tweet, you could just retweet mine.

Disclosure: as well as being a fan of these pics, I'm a friend of Penny's and first saw these pictures year ago. I'm so pleased they are finally reaching a wider audience.

Happy Christmas all.
 
Penny, these photos are both attractive and intriguing.
And it's a thought provoking project that you've carried out.

It's a great collection of photos, and I have two individual favourites:

Sunrise over planet duvet
Journey to the centre of the futon II

I'd be happy to have these framed and hung on my walls.
(Apart from being great photos they'd also provoke interesting discussions.)

I'd love to see these photos gain a wide audience.
 
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mine opens in another window and is white background and the photo is up on the upper left of the page.
Maybe it's a mac thing ?
Thanks anyways.
I enjoy them very nicely here : )
I think it might be a browser thing.
Firefox shows the images in the centre of the screen on a dark background.
All the other browsers seem to show them in the top-left hand corner using a white background.
But still enjoyably, however they're viewed.
 
The highly energised and dynamic images appear as if they've come from another world. They turned the facts of my illness inside out and upside down.

The photos are amazing and inspiring. Creativity can do wonders for the soul. And this statement says it all:

They express what ought to be clear to everyone but rarely is acknowledged in our culture, that the essence of a human being experiencing profound illness and disability is untouched and unconquerable.

Yes!