Study now in motion
Yep the studys now in full swing it seems, i also got this message today, and am awaiting further information as you all are.
If i test positive i will be sharing this information with the group. I hope others who can, will do similar, as this will be a direct response to the two failed studys already done in the uk. Really have no idea whats going to happen here, If a large amount will test positive, But i trust Judy M, and i suspect we will.
I guess your all feeling the emotions i am, ( some probably more than others ) as my condition after 15 years has become fairly good now, I am partly recovered, but still get intermittent symptoms, But generally nothing like what i was experiancing in those very bad dark days at the start of this illness, If XMRV is the culprit i suspect my immune system has over time figured out how to control this sneeky virus. And if thats true, then i hope that will also be true for others that may just still be in those early ( really terrifying ) days of the illness.
Theres hope people, my terror got better. But i am still traumatized by those memorys. even though my life has improved so much.
You know in a kind of messed up kind of thinking, i almost want to test positive ( how nuts is that simon w )
Because when i go to my grave i really would like to know, why i suffered so badly, and what caused me to feel like i was going insane. and if i ever relapse, treatment might become available, if it is our destinys to have this virus, then no wishful thinking is going to make it go away,
If i test negative, then im back to square one, and i will be saddend knowing i may go to my grave never knowing why this ever happened to me. Maybe not knowing is actually scarier than knowing i have this virus.Though the virus is in itself quite scary is it not.
Yes im confused by these thoughts, i guess you all are too.
How many have this duel type of thinking here ? Most im guessing. Bring it on, im ready now, And Judy thank you from the bottom of my ( our hearts ) for giving us this chance. She is one special lady. Feels like she has been sent to us doesnt it folks. I will post when i know the results. Excited you bet. But worried and confused too. Judy xx