I send along my compassion.
If I replace your Berocca Performance with Country Life Coenzymated B Complex, many of my symptoms are identical--certainly the emotional instability, certainly the pain levels, many of the symptoms--and finally understanding that many of my issues most likely had to do with methyl trapping, a couple of months ago I cut back to none, determined to build up little by little, to get to that place of low lower Bs so I could move forward with B-12 supplementation.
But my body had other ideas. Heart irregularities, depression, despair and exhaustion moved in and only began to resolve as I re-introduced the old thing that had worked so well till it didn't. (sort of) In the interim, I tinkered with B2 (as FMN), B6 and B12, Potassium, and though there might have been initial good results, I continued to spiral down. Right to that place where I told my husband and son I felt like walking in front of a truck or driving off the road. Not that I believe I would ever do that. But still.
Yesterday, my (Ok,
@Gondwanaland, does DH stand for 'Dear Husband'?!) DH sat down with me and poured over the very careful spread sheet I've been keeping daily for the past couple of months. He was a physics major and understands well the scientific method. His advice to me was: there are too many variables. Go back to the place where you were the most stable.
So, I added another 1/2 B Complex yesterday, and while I was anxious and racy during the day, I was calm and slept better at night than I have in weeks. 2 hours + 3 hours + 1 hour. Wow. (for me) Of course, there was a headache, and my left hand Dupuytrens ached and this morning my sciatica is bothering me. But an emotional center for the moment holds sway.
From where I sit, pain is easier to deal with than all that sleepless emotional stuff.
I have the sense that more of the lower Bs may actually help me tolerate methylation.
@Sherpa has certainly commented on this, and I'm sure many others. On the other hand I was jarred out of complacency by all the talk of Vitamin D on this thread. It's actually one thing I am clinically low in. Over the past two months as I bought Fermented Cod Liver Oil, started and stopped it because of stomach upset, I realized yesterday that I'd completely stopped taking my vit D drops. Yikes! Thanks for that. I began with 400 whatevers yesterday, 4 drops. (I have to be careful about how fast I increase anything), so even that may have added to my better sleep/calm last night.
It isn't easy working these issues from the inside out. I really got your house of cards metaphor. I hear that even on your Berocca Performance, you aren't feeling well and I hope you find the combination that supports the methylation that so clearly helps.
Here's to strong foundations, wherever and however we manage to build them.