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Does your doctor shake you by the hand?

Does you doctor shake you by the hand?


  • Total voters
    26

taniaaust1

Senior Member
Messages
13,054
Location
Sth Australia
I have NEVER had a GP shake my hand thou Ive seen at least 25 of those. I have thou think experienced hand shake by a couple of specialists (a bowel specialist.. and I think it was an immunologist.. note never of these were at a public hospital, Ive never experienced a handshake at a public hospital).

How do I feel about it? Im not sure. I do like the physical contact and its a caring gesture but I probably too would wonder if the doctor has washed his hands after touching his last patient.
 

MeSci

ME/CFS since 1995; activity level 6?
Messages
8,231
Location
Cornwall, UK
I try to avoid it. It was only relatively recently that the medical profession accepted and understood germ theory. Some of the doctors probably haven't caught up yet. :p

You are so right there! Two experiences I have had with doctors:

Hospital doctor takes a blood sample. Goes to pick up a tissue with which I have just blown my nose, obviously about to put it on the puncture wound. Stopped her in time.

GP takes a blood sample. I accidentally drop the cotton wool on the floor after briefly holding it on the puncture wound as instructed. I pick it up, doctor tries to put it back on the wound! I stop him, pointing out where it has been. He does not acknowledge that this was a bad idea but mercifully gives me a clean pad of cotton wool.

However, as long as I don't have broken skin on the area being touched (and it is not an orifice!), I'm not too worried.
 

MeSci

ME/CFS since 1995; activity level 6?
Messages
8,231
Location
Cornwall, UK
Most of my doctors have been females and none of them were hand-shakers. I have had a few do so at the end of consultations regarding my daughter -- usually only met them once though.

The worst experience I ever had with a doctor was when he told me some devastating news and then he proceeded to pat me on the head as he was leaving. I think if he had extended his hand to me after that, I would have lost it.

As a nurse, dealing with palliative care patients, I used to hold their hand as a measure of comfort. It wasn't just a formal hello/goodbye gesture. I think lately, in Canada at least, hand shaking seems to done by the older doctors rather than the younger ones.

I'm only generalising here, but some men don't seem to be aware of how to touch a woman appropriately and what is inappropriate. There are some who think it appropriate to rub a distressed woman's thigh to comfort her!
 

MeSci

ME/CFS since 1995; activity level 6?
Messages
8,231
Location
Cornwall, UK
I expect Kina can say a thing or two about consultants and their god-like ways. I know my Mum - as another former-nurse can :) :)

I'm sure most nurses can. During my last hospital stay I was happy with almost all the staff, from the cleaners to the nurses, but not the doctors, at least the senior ones. The more senior they were the worse they seemed to be on average in terms of attitude, notably arrogance but also ignorance.

I was chatting with a nurse about it one evening, and was telling her this, and didn't even have to tell her which group of people I was not happy with - she finished my sentence for me!
 

maryb

iherb code TAK122
Messages
3,602
Location
UK
Now arrogance yes - the NHS doctors are up there with the best of them During my first hospital admission when I first got ill I was sitting on my bed cleaning my teeth, my husband holding a cup with some water in (I couldn't walk to the bathrooom)- halfway through this doctor comes to the bed with his entourage, instead of going on to the next bed he proceeded to start questioning me - I was well mannered, naive and foolish at the start of this illness - I tried to respond and ended up spitting into the cup in front of everyone as I hastened to answer him.
He was totally devoid of manners - I would tell him so now but too late.....
 

Firestormm

Senior Member
Messages
5,055
Location
Cornwall England
Now arrogance yes - the NHS doctors are up there with the best of them During my first hospital admission when I first got ill I was sitting on my bed cleaning my teeth, my husband holding a cup with some water in (I couldn't walk to the bathrooom)- halfway through this doctor comes to the bed with his entourage, instead of going on to the next bed he proceeded to start questioning me - I was well mannered, naive and foolish at the start of this illness - I tried to respond and ended up spitting into the cup in front of everyone as I hastened to answer him.
He was totally devoid of manners - I would tell him so now but too late.....

This really reminds me of one of Mum's tales, Mary - from her nursing days. This was some time ago, but anyway: whenever it was time for the doctor to 'do his rounds' the nurses would 'prepare the ward and the patients'.

This essentially meant a clean-up exercise with military precision and engineering! I tell you these people expected to have their egos stroked :)

These days I'm not sure you can depend on wards being clean or on nurses being available - let alone doctor's regularly doing the rounds.... but I dare say the attitude is still there.

I know your experience was totally out of order but I am also now imagining those 'carry-on' films - you remember? Where that bearded doctor/professor would be on his rounds and the ward would be prepared. It totally exposed this practice as a sham :)
 
Messages
10,157
I have met many doctors over the years. Some have been absolutely wonderful to work with and very kind and respectful to their patients. Others have been arrogant so and so's who believe a medical degree entitles them to be rude know-it-all's. I actually had a doctor yell and scream at me in front of staff and patients because I dared to ask him a question about a dose of morphine he had written on his orders. I was at the nursing station and I was trying to let him know as quietly as possible that he had ordered a dose that would have likely killed the patient -- he misplaced a decimal point. He totally lost it without even hearing me -- I was just a nursing student, what did I know, how dare I question his knowledge and authority blah, blah, blah. He was just as nasty to patients. He would often tell them to stop being ridiculous if they questioned their medical treatments or said they were having side-effects. He treated patients very much like naughty children who must obey authority. I don't know of one staff member or patient that actually liked this man. It would have been beneath him to shake the hand of anybody.

I don't look up to those who look down on me.

I think doctors who show respect for their patients, value them and their opinions, listen to them are the best doctors. Even if they can't do anything for us, the least they can do is be nice about it.
 

Xandoff

Michael
Messages
302
Location
Northern Vermont
Kina,

My out of State M.E. specialist always shakes my hand. My local GP who doesn't believe in my disease said to me the last time I saw her " You have thirty seconds to tell me why you are here."

This just locks up my brain and spirit. I guess I should take Will Rogers advice and find a local veterinarian. Now that would be a shaggy tale.
 
Messages
10,157
Kina,

My out of State M.E. specialist always shakes my hand. My local GP who doesn't believe in my disease said to me the last time I saw her " You have thirty seconds to tell me why you are here."

This just locks up my brain and spirit. I guess I should take Will Rogers advice and find a local veterinarian. Now that would be a shaggy tale.


I would have replied and you have thirty seconds to watch me walk out the door.
 

jeffrez

Senior Member
Messages
1,112
Location
NY
In some religions/cultures it's considered improper for men and women to touch, even handshaking. So it's important to be sensitive to the fact that not everyone wants to be touched, too. ;-)
 

golden

Senior Member
Messages
1,831
Kina,

My out of State M.E. specialist always shakes my hand. My local GP who doesn't believe in my disease said to me the last time I saw her " You have thirty seconds to tell me why you are here."

This just locks up my brain and spirit. I guess I should take Will Rogers advice and find a local veterinarian. Now that would be a shaggy tale.


Lol - i am booked in to see a holistic Vet shortly :) (lateral thinking :) )
 

ukxmrv

Senior Member
Messages
4,413
Location
London
Oh dear - are we all the offspring of nurses?

(I seem to be hearing those old comments about nurses, teachers and risk factors again)
 

LaurieL

Senior Member
Messages
447
Location
Midwest
Kina said...
[QUOTEThe worst experience I ever had with a doctor was when he told me some devastating news and then he proceeded to pat me on the head as he was leaving. I think if he had extended his hand to me after that, I would have lost it.][/QUOTE]

I realize my comment is a bit late but.....

If a doc was to pat me on the head and then extend his hand for shake, I would lob it off for him. I am not a puppy to be petted, although vets are sounding more and more appealing. :D
 

LaurieL

Senior Member
Messages
447
Location
Midwest
Kina said...
The worst experience I ever had with a doctor was when he told me some devastating news and then he proceeded to pat me on the head as he was leaving. I think if he had extended his hand to me after that, I would have lost it.

I realize my comment is a bit late but.....

If a doc was to pat me on the head and then extend his hand for shake, I would lob it off for him. I am not a puppy to be petted, although vets are sounding more and more appealing. :D

I voted sometimes yes. I have never been turned down for a shake, although when meeting anyone, my grandfather was big on initiation of the shake. It is so ingrained that I can't remember but a few whom initiated "the shake", its usually me and I am judgemental of the quality of the shake..

After my illness, and working in the hospitals for 20 odd years, a doctors shake is on different grounds. In the hospital setting, I don't shake, hands are the place to carry lots of little nasties. I don't eat in the cafeteria's either. Look at the studies of those, yuck.

In the office setting, a shake is acceptable. In the hospital, caring and time over-ride a shake, curtness, and matter-of-factness in bedside manner. A good chief of staff will set the tone for his partners. Most will not shake outside of the office or consult setting as a caution to the patient first, and then themselves.
 

rosie26

Senior Member
Messages
2,446
Location
NZ
I would rather not have to shake doctors hand, I don't think there is a need to unless meeting for the very first time.
My doctor always welcomes me with a lovely warm smile and seems interested in " what he can do for me today":)
And when I leave, as I go out the door he warmly puts his arm around my shoulder and says goodbye. :) I notice the majority of the GP's there are warm like that, so I do walk out feeling " that was nice" :)
 

valentinelynx

Senior Member
Messages
1,310
Location
Tucson
Interesting. I'm a doctor (anesthesiologist). I always shake my patients' hands when I meet them for the first time, and often, the family members' hands, as well. It seems simple common professional decency. Unfortunately, with my finger joint pain acting up, people who squeeze fingers instead of a real handshake make me think twice about this practice lately!
 

MeSci

ME/CFS since 1995; activity level 6?
Messages
8,231
Location
Cornwall, UK
I would rather not have to shake doctors hand, I don't think there is a need to unless meeting for the very first time.
My doctor always welcomes me with a lovely warm smile and seems interested in " what he can do for me today":)
And when I leave, as I go out the door he warmly puts his arm around my shoulder and says goodbye. :) I notice the majority of the GP's there are warm like that, so I do walk out feeling " that was nice" :)

That would be going too far for me and I would not like it. I would try to wriggle away from the arm. Too familiar and rather paternalistic.