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Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of, and finding treatments for, complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia, long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.
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We have a word to describe that feeling ... FATIGUE! You aren't "unmotivated", your body does not have the energy to expend, so brain and body are saying NO! That is completely different than if, during the healthy period of your life, you had chosen to drop out of school and not get a job and just sit around all day watching tv.Then: No motivation. I tried to get up one morning - not only did I feel I could not, I did not want to - as though I had walked 1000 miles only to get run over by a train. My motivation was not what it once was, even a few days before. I now seem to have a lack of motivation, and also never considered myself a slacker, but now feel like one.
The word DEPRESSED will jump into their heads. And you'd have a script for an antidepressant before you could blink.So, if going to a doc and I say, "I feel unmotivated," and get a blank look, maybe I can appeal that look by saying "kind of like a slacker - not myself - wonder if dopamine has anything to do with it." Maybe I will come closer to touching on their medical knowledge.
Because before you were healthy and now you are not.And yes, I avoid work or effort - like the plague, as it seems to compromise an already fragile system, even though this was not once the case.
Because before you were healthy and could do it, and now you are not, and can't! (like the runner with the broken ankle)I am not motivated to do what I once did. I feel like a slacker, that I do not recognize - and I wonder why?
Nor should you. It's good you told us you are feeling this way though. It isn't good to keep these things bottled up inside. It's very easy for us to get down on ourselves. When our brains aren't working right it is sometimes very hard to sort things out. Hope this helps.I apologize if use of the word has offended anyone, but I will never apologize for my subjective experience.
Perceived slackerdom comes last. The first thing to go, for me, was mental cognition, memory, attention to detail. At that point, I knew I was completely screwed.
Stupidity, not slackerhood, goeth before the fall.
I think that is a good question and would would likely answer it with MishMash post:After reading Aileen's very nice post, I have a question for you, AFCFS: Are the words "slacker" and "lack of motivation" more in keeping with a redefining/reinventing self process?
The illness dose require a large amount of redefining/reinventing self process. In short - I feel like "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," but without the "romance" of the lyrics.Perceived slackerdom comes last. The first thing to go, for me, was mental cognition, memory, attention to detail. At that point, I knew I was completely screwed.
The impairments in motor performance and incentive motivational processes that follow from nigrostriatal and mesolimbic DA loss can be understood in terms of a single mechanism: abnormal processing of sensorimotor and incentive motivation-related glutamate input signals to the striatum.
That's because we are an immigrant society, where only the most risk-taking, impulsive souls on distant shores had the courage to get on some rickety wooden ship, probably never to see their mother country again, and settle in a new strange, but exciting country.
The illness dose require a large amount of redefining/reinventing self process. In short - I feel like "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald," but without the "romance" of the lyrics.
Without writing a book, when I was younger, I found myself overseas for a short itme. I was on a malaria prophylaxis - Lariam (Mefloquine). At times, I was also on and a sustained antibiotic regime, flipping about various antibiotics as another prophylaxis. They later found Lariam to cause psychosis in some. Aside from the Lariam, antibiotics, and a generally unfriendly physical environment, the sky was occasionally “hazed” with chemicals dispersed into the air - not ones you want to breath, or touch your skin, although there was never any direct contact that I was aware of.
I did not feel myself, and saw a pdoc who thought I might have PTSD, depression, anxiety, some OCD, some ADHD - the Dx's mounting as I went through med trials that did not work, including: Tricyclics, Tegretol, Wellbutrin, Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin, Mirapex, Paxil, Prozac, Lexapro, Zoloft, Pristiq, Intuniv, Lamictal, Lithium, Trileptal, Topamax, Adderall, Concerta, Strattera, Vyvanse, Ambien, Lunesta, and Rozerem, and then combinations of each medicine, and re-combinations.
I functioned just as well, or better, off most meds and ended up just taking Prozac, which seemed to help with some depression, and some Klonopin. I believe the Klonopin had become a habit, rather than need. Eventually I replaced the Prozac with a low dose of lamotrigine.
During that time, I never lost my motivation and worked toward achievements; my body seemed healthy and my mind still functioned and was focused. I did not always feel well, but I knew life was not perfect, so I just kept going and I seemed to be doing OK, for about 15+ years after I got back home.
But it was after a good time of healthy diet and enjoying mountain biking when it hit. Maybe it was too much exertion just then, PTSD, depression, the herpes virus that I had since I was about two, alcohol intolerance, a boat load of immunizations, iodine deficiency, boron depletion, mercury poisoning from a tooth filling, or something else ingested - some chemical agent from oral prophylaxis or aerial ingestion, fluoride, bromine, the apparent chiari malformation that was found when looking for pituitary problems, hypothyroidism, non alcoholic fatty liver, some adrenal stress, sleep apnea, night sweats, a lingering bug from having rocky mountain spotted fever, some fecal or urinary material passed on by people I visited in the nursing home, allowing my dog to lick my face, getting hit in the head with the blade of a stealthy ceiling fan - those things are dangerous - while trying to hang a picture, or maybe even a problem with biochemistry like dopamine imbalance. Whatever it was, it hit hard and fast - it made me feel like a slacker.
But we do live and learn, and perceptions can change. I currently have The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety (Alan W. Watts) on my night stand, with the Bible not far off. Reading has been difficult for me, but I am trying to take this in bits. I had read it college and had recalled its philosophical appeal at the time, thinking now it maybe good to integrate it a little more, as I have found the need to reassess my perspectives on life. The book is kind of like a Meta-CBT for mind and soul.
I see what your saying MishMash, but dont forget alot of people early in US history arrived without having a say in it!
3. an especially educated young person who is antimaterialistic, purposeless, apathetic, and usually works in a dead-end job.
Count me in as a fan of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and Gordon Lightfoot.I thought I was the only one who still like this song. Notice that what was once "popular" music is now "classic"? Bach was once pop, but became "classical".
Count me in as a fan of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and Gordon Lightfoot.
Even after a quarter century of ME/CFS, I still want, and sometimes even plan, to do more than I am able. I would not say that I am unmotivated (just a slow learner).