• Welcome to Phoenix Rising!

    Created in 2008, Phoenix Rising is the largest and oldest forum dedicated to furthering the understanding of, and finding treatments for, complex chronic illnesses such as chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS), fibromyalgia, long COVID, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), mast cell activation syndrome (MCAS), and allied diseases.

    To become a member, simply click the Register button at the top right.

Bras!

SOC

Senior Member
Messages
7,849
I find that the problem with living in PJs is that it's depressing to feel that you're never actually dressed. I did this for years and it really wasn't good for my mood. It's not good now that I'm in a relationship either, come to that. The other thing is that it simply gets too cold in the winter. So I live in comfortable trousers, generally cords in the winter and linen blend in the summer (which isn't so much about the fabric as it is about finding something that fits), and cotton tops. I'm a big fan of big warm cardis which are easy to shrug off when my temperature is hopping up and down, although the ones I use at the moment are so long that I have to tie them around my waist when I go to the loo.

I would love to be able to go braless comfortably! I'm unlikely to get smaller than a D cup unless I end up significantly underweight, and a DD is more likely, so not much chance of that happening. Hurt, are you finding that you're in pain specifically from wearing a bra? If so, what sort?

I can't go braless comfortably, either. I'm not sure most D-cup and above can. I do go braless fairly often, though, because it's less uncomfortable than wearing a bra. :(

I have had some luck with bra liners from Pambra's http://pambras.com/ They do help quite a bit with the skin sensitivity to bra bands. They make non-underwire bras a lot more comfortable because they're softer than elasticized bands and eliminate some of the elastic pinching and grabbing. I haven't found a way to make underwire bras bearable, although bra liners make them better.

If women aren't wearing pantyhose anymore, what are they wearing under skirts? Bare legs with a suit? Surely not. Gosh, I've been cut off from the rest of the world for too long.
 

Hope123

Senior Member
Messages
1,266
I agree with Dainty about fit. Here in the US at least, if one is able to go out, some of the fancier department stores occasionally have free bra fittings and you can get free advice from people without buying anything. Of course, going out is a factor for many people so that might not be an option for you.

One thing I've tried with clothes in general in the US is ordering online from companies with free shipping both ways -- e.g. no fee shipping to you, no fee if you need to return something. Postmen can pick up packages from houses directly here so no need to go to the post office either. Then, you can order clothes online in more than one size, see what fits you, and return what doesn't. I don't buy stuff much but this is what I do if I need to. This seems expensive but you can actually get some great deals and more variety online sometimes than brick-and-mortar stores.

Another tip I learned in my pre-ME/CFS days was to buy what looks good and/or fits well rather than going by size or even measurements for that matter unless I was already familiar with a company's cut and that company was consistent. Final tip: if it fits well and you are hard to fit (I'm shorter than average for example so pants are hard for me sometimes) and it is a reasonable price, buy more than one as it will save you time and sometimes money in the long run.
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
I've done very well with online bra shopping too. The bras are often between 1/3 and 1/2 of their RRP, so even if you have to pay a certain amount for sending stuff back now and then, you still save a fortune. I generally stuck to the same brand, Panache, when I was using underwired bras, and while their sizing is generally very consistent, it does have the odd blip, so I'd ring up the bra shops and ask whether a certain model was running large or small.

Tell you one nice thing about those maternity sleep bras I mentioned: because each size of stretchy bra covers several standard bra sizes, you don't need nearly as much accuracy with the sizing. Of the ones I have, the Fertile Mind Superbra only comes in small and large, so there's very little to worry about there, although I presume that once you get past a certain size, you can't wear this. I wore the small when I was overweight and it still fits now, with the exception of the one bra which someone accidentally threw in a cotton wash which is now too small. The Bravado Body Silk comes in four sizes, and incidentally do look carefully at the size chart if you buy one of these, because it's incorrect for UK sizes (goes A B C D E F, which means that its E is really a DD). When I first bought them, the medium was a good fit over the back but too small over the cups, and a large was fine over the cups but too big over the back. I ended up getting a couple of mediums, wore them occasionally on non-premenstrual days, and once I started to lose weight it fitted beautifully and will probably keep on fitting me from now on. I tend to wear moderately low-cut tops, I feel strangled in anything with a high neck, so I spent quite a while hunting for stretchy bras which weren't too high cut for me. The Fertile Mind one is higher cut, it's a crop top style, but I can still wear most of my tops with it, and the Bravado works for pretty much everything except spaghetti strap tops, as the part where the cups turn into the straps is relatively high, if that makes sense.

The bra liners do look nifty, although I find that the bra band is uncomfortable all the way around these days, not just at the front. I think it's a skin pain thing, it's mostly an itchy sensation, and it doesn't help that my stretchy bras are either crop tops or have three hooks at the back, while my underwired bras only have two hooks and it just doesn't seem like nicely spread out support any more. Plus don't you still get the problem that the bra feels too tight around your ribs when you lie down? Mostly the only thing that solves that for me is one of those stretchy bras, although I went through a patch when a certain softcup bra in a certain size (bit too big for me on both back and cups) was OK for that (it's since become uncomfortable again, though).

Jogging bottoms: does anyone have recommendations on fabrics? I was thinking mostly cotton, I generally do well with cotton against my skin. On the other hand, my partner proudly came home with a hoodie the other night, 60% polyester to 40% cotton witha fleecy feel on the inside, and it is seriously warm and snuggly. (In fact, I have just unearthed it from his desk chair and snaffled it for today, though it smells like he's been around both aftershave and smokers so this may not last long.) One problem I'd forgotten about is that before I lost weight, the jeans I had were pretty tight on me and there were a lot of days when they would set my skin itching like crazy and I just couldn't wear them. Being 4'11 and sticking to a brand of trousers which I reckon runs rather large, everything I now have is a little on the loose side, though mostly still at a level which looks good, so that problem seems to have gone. But I'm aware that it could resurface if I pick the wrong style or fabric.
 

Athene

ihateticks.me
Messages
1,143
Location
Italy
That's a great bra top, thanks for that Calathea! I'm going to look for those, as i have exactly the same bra problem.

I solved the pyjama problem by getting several of those soft velour tracksuits (the type Britney spears used to wear before she went weird.) My son calls them my "daytime pyjamas". I look dressed enough to be seen by the public, but they are basically like pyjamas and perfectly comfortable to wear in bed during my frequent daytime naps.
 

Min

Messages
1,387
Location
UK
That Bravado Body Silk looks good Calalthea - are the straps padded please?

I have found that cushioned or padded straps help a lot with the pain, but that under band pain is a real nightmare. Has anyone found a Pambra's bra liner stockist who will deliver to the UK please?
 

Sallysblooms

P.O.T.S. now SO MUCH BETTER!
Messages
1,768
Location
Southern USA
I solved the pyjama problem by getting several of those soft velour tracksuits (the type Britney spears used to wear before she went weird.) My son calls them my "daytime pyjamas". I look dressed enough to be seen by the public, but they are basically like pyjamas and perfectly comfortable to wear in bed during my frequent daytime naps.

When I was sicker, I would wear jammmies all day. Then, my POTS was better and I wore maxi dresses that looked so pretty and were comfy too. Now, I can dress in reg clothes or my dresses.

I love to wear my Ugg slippers so that is funny with my maxi's, ha. I have three pair, they are heavenly.

I love to order from Zappo's! Shipping is free both ways. I just ordered more jeans and a darling purse this week. I am always getting things there. Order one day, get the item the next day. One day, I ordered and got it the SAME DAY! They are amazing. I love Amazon too!
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
If it's not daft, what do padded bra straps look like? They're adjustable, certainly, and I find the overall weight distribution to be good which places less strain on the straps, but I think they're probably fairly ordinary bra straps, about 1.5cm wide, sturdier than a lot of bra straps I've seen if that helps. The Fertile Mind bra has much wider, non-adjustable straps which are about 2.7cm wide, and the whole crop top design generally spreads the weight out more. I should mention that the Bravado bra, at least the Body Silk, has these drop-down cups intended for breastfeeding, which means that there's a little plastic fastening at the top of each cup and then a strip that's rather like a lightweight conventional bra strap that runs down on the inside, from that clip to the bottom of the cup. I just cut the strips off once I'd decided to keep the bras, and I can't feel the clips as far as I recall. Maybe ring a stockist or two and ask what they're like with regard to this sort of thing? I've found them all to be very helpful, and they don't remotely mind that you're not a nursing mother!
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
Sally - I have fake fur-lined boots, the sort so cheap they probably don't even count as an Ugg knock-off, and they make FANTASTIC slippers! They do a really good job of warming me up all over, as getting your extremities warm can be half the battle. If I am snooping about the flat in my nightie, I will be wearing a knee-length dark red cotton nightie and black furry calf boots. It's a certain look, eh.
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
It does look nicely constructed, and Anita bras are meant to be good. Have you tried any of the bras with stretchy underbust bands? It looks as if Anita does a couple of those too, and the crop top/bustier one is higher-cut than my Fertile Mind one which would probably mean that the weight would be spread out even better. (And if you think that Fertile Mind is a daft name for a bra, there's a range out there called Hot Milk! They do look like beautiful bras, mind you.) I think one of the main problems for me these days is the business with the diaphragm expanding as you lie down. Any kind of bra which has a set band size that fits when I'm upright feels as if someone's tied a wire around my ribs and pulled when I get into bed. I don't know how it works with sports bras, I haven't actually tried those yet.
 

Min

Messages
1,387
Location
UK
O bought three genie bras with the removable pads in BHS (UK) today - they seemed very very comfortable & a nice shape when I tried them on in the shop, although there's too much bounce with them, but now I'm home the underband is hurting right under the bust. I bought the ones for my dress size & wonder if I should have gone up a size.
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
If you've just bought them and they're uncomfortable, I'd take them straight back. M&S are always good about returns or exchanges. The bras do look good in the pictures, and the underbust band looks nice and stretchy, but since they come in one size per dress size, I'm guessing they're not? And oh wow, do I hate it when people tell me you can guess my bra size from my dress size (Mothercare do this too for their sleep bras) - they've evidently never experienced anything higher than a C cup! Anyway, naturally you don't get the same level of support from a stretchy unwired bra, but there's never been all that much bounce in the ones I've had. Odd. Are the Genie bras the same ones you can get in the US, where they tend to get very bad reviews (although half of that is about the hidden costs and bad customer service rather than the bras themselves)?
 

Min

Messages
1,387
Location
UK
Yes, they are made in the US.

Update on the Genie bras - there are three in the pack & they are nearly 40 altogether. The white one was tight, the beige one was very small and the black one so small it wouldn't go over my head - the larger white one was on the top and the one I tried on in the shop. These are going straight back to BHS for a refund.
 

Googsta

Doing Well
Messages
390
Location
Australia
I find cotton crop tops the best for around home. They don't offer much support but keep things in place & are great for unexpected visitors at the door. I buy mine from Big W (Oz), a two pack costs about $14.
My Mum bought the Ahh Bra which sle loved at first, but they lost all their support after they were washed.
 

Min

Messages
1,387
Location
UK
Have taken the Genie bras back and ordered some Pambra's Bra Liners from the US. I'm hoping these will make my ordinary supportive bras comfortable; I already use the cushions that attach under straps
 

ahimsa

ahimsa_pdx on twitter
Messages
1,921
I don't have a personal recommendation to share. Some days I don't even notice my bra and other days I find it very uncomfortable. Since I don't think my bras are magically morphing into different shapes and sizes in between wearings (i.e., it has nothing to do with them being laundered) I guess it's my own sensitivity that is going up and down.

I did see a couple messages about bras recently (from one of the blogs that I read) so I'll pass on those links in case they might be helpful.

post #1 - about a brand of bra that one of the authors found very comfortable:

http://www.harpyness.com/2011/12/30/friday-fun-thread-the-thrill-of-the-shill/

post #2 - donate your old bras to a good cause:

http://www.harpyness.com/2012/01/16/retiring-your-old-bras-for-a-good-cause/
 
Messages
1,082
Location
UK
Bra's are a total pain in the bum, or should I say ribs? I've completely lost my chest from the years when I was bedridden and went down to 5 and a half stone, even though i'm now back to my normal weight, i never really got my pre-ME chest back :(
so luckily when in the house i don't need to wear one but when out in public I have to wear one just to give me some shape! so underwired ones are the only ones I can wear as sports bra's don't give any shape at all. I find them excruciatingly painful, they leave my ribs feeling bruised for days.
Does anyone know of a way to have a bra with shape, without the underwire bit?
 

Calathea

Senior Member
Messages
1,261
I've done well with the two I mentioned at the start of the thread, while being anything from an F cup down to a DD. You're not going to get the same shape as with an underwired bra, there's a bit less uplift and less breast separation, but you definitely get a noticeable improvement in shape, firmness and position. They're definitely more than enough to satisfy the demands of looking decent in public. I'm surprised you found sports bras to be completely useless, I hear they're fairly good. Maybe it wasn't a good brand or size for you?

5 1/2 stone? Dear lord. How tall are you? I'm a shortarse of 4'11 and that would be a worrying weight on me.