I have a confession to make.This past month, I have been working very hard internally to try to raise my spiritual level. I have made it my #1 priority. I have prayed a lot, asking for God's guidance. I have been reading books on how to overcome adversity and how to raise your soul to be more spiritual/intuitive. The reason why i put such an effort now is simply because this is the right time of year in the Jewish calendar to do so. We are directed to do an internal accounting and to make amends wherever we can. I went as far as asking forgiveness from people who are close to me that I felt I might have wronged. I went to a spiritual healer who helped me get out a lot of negative thoughts that I was holding on to. I wanted a complete cleansing or more like purging of anything that could be damaging my soul. I felt like I progressed pretty well and I even started to eel better physically too. I had a little more strength. I was able to get out of the house for a bit. I felt a real closeness to God.
Three days ago, I started to have a vicious sinus/migraine headache and it hasn't let up since. I am at my wits end physically and emotionally I feel like all the progress I have worked so far to achieve, totally crumbled on me.
I have no more strength left to fight this. What am I supposed to do?
Holiday time or sacred time is often hard on ME/CFS patients, as there are many subtle stressors on us, even if we try to opt out of things. Anyway, sounds like you have had some PEM from spiritual over-exertion (based on your words bolded above). I don't mean to sound anti or negative towards spirituality, spiritual practices have really helped me. But took years to discover which ones would help and which would harm, and yes, some spiritual practices that I had no problem with pre-ME/CFS now can be stressful to me and I avoid them. God does not judge you in any way for being sick, and your illness is not any type of punishment. I think sometimes when we seek God out of a pre-existing spiritual orientation we had prior to illness, we take on subconscious loads that we no longer can carry. So realistically we need to make accommodations for our illness in religious holidays. Sort of like the generally accepted advice that pregnant or nursing women should not participate in religious fasting (I believe most religious systems in the world honor that one).
I can't give you any specific advice as I am not Jewish, but I had to step outside my own religious upbringing to find spiritual insights and meditations that worked within the context of my ME/CFS. Much of that was learning how to let go of the need to get well, and let things proceed in a natural way. I know that sounds strange, but to a pious person, getting well is a mandate because you can not serve God or your fellow beings while you are sick. But striving to heal oneself, or trying harder to please God so you can be healed, is exertion! Mental and even spiritual exertion must be carefully managed, we have to stay within our spiritual effort envelope just the same as if it were a physical effort envelope. The brain uses half of the body's glucose, thinking and inner striving is significant exertion for us. And I do know that God will understand if you can't do as much spiritual striving, so maybe you need to work on your own understanding of this limitation... but don't exert too hard on that thought...
Here is a suggestion, maybe it is time to let someone else strive for you for awhile, take a break. Maybe instead of fervent prayer or meditation, listen to some CDs or download some spiritual message sound-tracks that are healing for you (that's what I mean by letting someone else do the striving for you). Something to reduce the spiritual and mental stress you are experiencing. One message that really has helped me to relax and let go is talks by Eckardt Tolle, he has quite a few YouTube talks, and there are others of course. A spiritual distraction, so to speak, and one that gives you a little rest from your personal spiritual burden, in an unconditionally loving way.
