Twilight Boredom

[Carrigon]

Don't you hate it when you feel well enough to be bored, but you're not well enough to really do much of anything. So you're just plain stuck bored. That was my day today. I hate that so much cause there are things I would love to be doing, but can't. So I end up just being really bored.

 

[PNR2008]

Yes I understand completely. Even with little energy I try to do a household task just so I don't live like a slob. It could be picking up 1-5 things or putting away some clothes or cleaning a sink. When I'm sick my place gets trashed so fast. If I'm well enough I'll bike with my dog (she does most of the work) if not I sit on the porch swing with a book. What I find is the hardest to do is shopping for anything or even going out to a coffee place because of the make-up and the effort to look like I'm not homeless. It's becoming more difficult to actually go out some place nice, the preparation, conversation and pay back the next day zapps the joy right out of it. What you're talking about is bad, the seesaw of wanting to do something different but not enough energy to do or even think of what to do is annoying.

 

[Carrigon]

I can't do the whole makeup thing anymore. Before I got sick, I was always buying the latest colors and would die before leaving my house without my makeup on. Now, it's like forget it. I don't have the energy. If I need to, I will use alittle concealer, sometimes lipstick. But that's it. When I come home, I'm in too much pain and fatigue to take off a whole face full of makeup. I kind of look at it as, most people don't really look at you much anyway when you're over forty like I am now. And I live in an area where most women don't wear much or any makeup now. So I don't really stand out.

I'm not doing well lately, so it's kind of this twilight thing where I can do a few small things around my apartment if I make an effort, but I'm not well enough to do anything else. And I'm bored. Not well enough to go anywhere, don't have the money to anyway. Nothing good to watch on tv or the net. Bored with my games. Just plain bored. Basically, I want to go out and do stuff, but I can't. And I feel stir crazy sitting home on nice days. I feel caged.

 

[Esther12]

I find that really concentrating on things helps relieve boredom. A sort of meditation maybe?

eg: Put some music on, close your eyes, and really listen to it.

It's still frustrating being ill, and not being able to do more, so resentment about that is harder to over-come, but I've found focusing on things to be a good way to avoid just the 'boredom'. Good luck.

 

[Nielk]

I find that really concentrating on things helps relieve boredom. A sort of meditation maybe?

eg: Put some music on, close your eyes, and really listen to it.

It's still frustrating being ill, and not being able to do more, so resentment about that is harder to over-come, but I've found focusing on things to be a good way to avoid just the 'boredom'. Good luck.

Esther,
It's a great idea, but not something that can occupy you most of the day.
Carrigon,
Maybe there is a subject that you are interested in and can take out books from the library. It's free and you can even call it a research project. Take notes of things you want to remember or reread.
Another idea, especially if it's a nice day is to go to a local park. You can sit on a bench and observe. You can enjoy the nature or observe other people. If you have an MP3 you can listen to music while doing this.
I know from reading your posts that you have recently moved to a mew housing project. Is there anyone there that you might be interested to befriend? Maybe you can invite them over for some coffee/tea? Or, if there is an elderly person there who lives alone you can bring them some cookies and chat with them a bit. Maybe you can find someone to play scrabble with? At least it will be more interesting then playing by yourself.
Hope any of these can apply.
Thinking of you,
Nielk

 

[taniaaust1]

Nothing good to watch on tv or the net.

Yeah, nothing hardly ever on TV, I rarely watch it.
I dont know what your local library is like but mine delivers books, DVDs etc to the home of those disabled. I currently watch 15 DVDS from library a week so rarely get bored... that's a lot of hrs and I watch them while laying in bed so my orthostatic intollerance isnt coming in. (If im not well enough to watch a DVD Im usually sleeping if I arent here).

When Ive run out of movies I know I want to watch (right now I have about 100 on my "watchlist" there) .. I'll be using http://www.imdb.com/chart/top to find others to get my library to get in for me, I'll probably work my way down the movie chart. (if you click on the titles of the movies on the chart, you can see what they are about).

Have you thought about joining second life (its a virtual reality thing you can explore). I know Alex and a few others from this site love it there and they apparently also have ME/CFS meetings there at times.

Yesterday (as I have run out of DVDS as I had doctors appointment when I usually get them) Ive started to make myself a cook book as there are no suitable ones about the place with all my food issues out there for me, so I figure I'll collect suitable recipes and make my own.
(when Im weller and cooking more.. I'll play about with the recipes, changing them and make them the best I can.. maybe in 20 years my cook book will be finished and I could try to publish it for ones on certain kinds of diets).

When I was much sicker... I used to kill time in the bath. Just spend hrs laying in it.. enjoying it. Set an oil burner up in bathroom with favourite scents.

Over the past couple of months, I have set up a garden on my house porch just outside the door. It looks beautiful .. I planted some vegatables in big pots (little baby spinach and Italian parsely and some other herbs so will became very useful) and also planted flowers in other big pots. So right now that is my pride and joy . Ive been doing a new pot there every week and just buying a couple of plants when I go shopping.

Another thing I have which I can work on if I get bored... Im making calenders for family members for christmas. They are emailing me the photos. (making the photo calenders appeal to my creativity and I know that makes things easier for me too as I wont be having to go out christmas shopping. Having all year to work on those too, ensures Im not pushing myself too hard).

Its still possible to have hobbies and interests with ME. One just have to work out things you can still do and would like to do. (having ME has really changed me, without all the food issues I have, I would of never previously wanted to make a cook book)

 

[alice1]

I so relate to this thread.Thanks for starting it!!

 

[Carrigon]

Well, tonight, I learned to say bad words in Japanese:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr11fI0HN4g&feature=autoshare
And I read the best article ever on why you shouldn't kill yourself:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html
I'm still incredibly bored, though.

 

[Nielk]

Well, tonight, I learned to say bad words in Japanese:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr11fI0HN4g&feature=autoshare
And I read the best article ever on why you shouldn't kill yourself:
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658_the-ten-minute-suicide-guide.html
I'm still incredibly bored, though.

Carrigon,
I hear your pain. It seems to go byond boredom. It's more of a cry of desperation anf it must feel very frutrating.
When you are alone all day, without specific things to go or maybe no motivation yo do them, it can really drive you crazy.
You need some interaction with other humans. It's a basic need that without it, we cannot thrive.

http://fmscommunity.org/cfidssupport.htm#pa

This is a list of support groups for cfs in PA. I don't know if any of them are near you but, if you can get to one, it should be helpful for you.

Best of luck.
Nielk

 

[Carrigon]

There aren't any support groups for our illness in my area. They had one years ago, but everyone was too sick to go so they stopped doing it. Most of the people here are misdiagnosed and still don't understand what they have, but alot of people have it. Like anyone you talk to knows someone with the symptoms.

I'm bored for alot of reasons. I knew moving to this place was going to do that to me. That's why I didn't want to move. Sometimes, dead quiet can be too quiet. It's a nice peaceful place, as in, might as well put a tombstone on it. I think I'm a city person at heart. I need that life going on in the city. Even though I wasn't safe there and was going through bad stuff, I felt better in the city than I do away from it.

And I'm bored because the move killed me physically and financially, so I'm now stuck in here with no money to go anywhere on top of being too sick to go anywhere. It totally sux. I usually go out with a friend at least once or twice a month, but we both ran out of money. So it's looking like I'm not going anywhere, except a trip to the store for cat litter till Sept.

And my usual hobby work that I do, it's gotten boring for now. That won't pick up till October.

Things are boring.

 

[edwards.kevin41]

MF and CFS is hard to diagnose. I know a lot of people around who are diagnosed recently and throughout their life, they were said to be lazy by their family and friends. Its sad to see such to happen. Its like dyslexia going unnoticed. It sucks to be in such a condition. But there nothing I can do about it.

 

[Sushi]

I just got desperate and enrolled in course in a community college--2 afternoons a week. Don't know if I'll be able to do it, but there are other humans there, so heh!

I used to care a lot about doing well in school. Don't anymore, just hope to be able to muddle through, meet some people and maybe, just maybe, learn something.

Sushi

 

[November Girl]

I've been there on the boredom. Yes, it really sucks! i have found a hobby I love, and can do for a few hours a day. And when I'm not actually beading, I'm often online looking at beadwork & learning more about techniques, materials, etc. Oh, and saving a million free tutorials, knowing that I'll only get around to making a few of them. This is the first hobby I've found that doesn't involve a lot of physical effort. I can get too tired to sit and sew beads together, but most days I can do at least some. The hard part is stopping after an hour or two, when I start feeling the negative effects.