Hi Hensue, so sorry to hear that your son may have this illness too. I can understand how you feel as my daughter has now been told after 3 years of illness that she may also have M.E.
I agree entirely with the other poster who suggests a good therapist as well for dealing with the suicidal issues. Your son is so lucky that he has you to be able to help and guide him with getting to see a good M.E doc straight away. I dont know about the different docs as i live in the U.K, but i like the sound of Nancy Klimas, also if you say it is nearer to you then perhaps he could stay with you while he sees her? Whatever you decide the number one priority is to get him help for diagnosis/managment/treatment and support as soon as possible.
Yes its true that there may not be a cure but its also true that many people improve, have remissions or recover. I have had a very long remission in the past to near normal functioning, and although it has been a hard slog from my last relapse 3 years ago i am gradually getting better again. My daughter is the same in that her functioning has gradually improved from bedbound to now able to study full time and have some life. I was able to live abroad, work part time and raise a family during my remmission and although it has come back again with a vengeance i still have hope that i may have more good functioning years ahead.
You dont say how old your son is (obviously an adult as he doesnt live with you) but its worth bearing in mind that the younger the person is and the shorter they have been ill for the better the chances of a full recovery or remmission.
Take care, Justy x