Overly Sensitive or Just Plain Can't Take Mean People

[Carrigon]

Does anyone else have a real problem with someone yelling at them or being nasty. Like way more so than before you got sick? If someone is mean on the phone or yells at me for some reason, I feel like I feel it a hundred times more than before I got sick. It's like, Don't Yell At Me! I think I'm much more sensitive and some of that is the sound sensitivity, but alot of it seems to be emotional. If someone has a bad day and they take it out on me, or they are just plain mean, I can't be around it and it will effect my entire week and often flare me up.

I often wish there was a town for only people like us, quiet and calm and safe. Free of most allergens and pollutants and noise. Just quiet and calm. I know I'll never get my wish. That's the curse of the modern world. We lost that peace long ago.

 

[caledonia]

Yes, this is a sign of adrenal fatigue. Once you have successfully treated your adrenals, this will go away and you'll be able to tolerate stress like a normal person.

 

[maddietod]

Yeah, I've got this. I don't even watch TV, because people are so mean to each other. Is there any agreement on how to best treat the adrenals, or is it another area where treatment has to be personalized?

 

[Mya Symons]

Actually, I find I am just the opposite. When someone is a jerk I think to myself that I have other more serious things to worry about, like being sick. I find I worry less about everything now, because it just does not seem like a big deal anymore. I also do not feel guilty for defending myself anymore like I used to. I do, however, get that annoying fight or flight type reaction still for no reason. But, I have learned to recognize it and know that it is not real. I just wait now for it to be over and tell myself over and over again that it is not real.

 

[PNR2008]

I understand the aversion to mean people, the obvious one's are easy to pick out but it's the subtle zings with a smile -on -your -face that get me because mostly I need time to retort to them in an efficient, protective way and of course I'm not always on and usually just trying to survive. Cruel people seem to pick-up on my vulnerability and go for the kill. My family is very critical and easy to avoid but what about the doctor's receptionists, pharmacy employees, etc. They are geared-up and talk so fast and I'm in slow motion not realizing I've been insulted until I'm out the door. I used to be able to blow alot off but now things bother me for days.

 

[caledonia]

Ditto on cruelty on TV. Main offenders are Simon Cowell, Judge Judy, Gordon Ramsay, right wing talk shows, etc. etc. Bullying is allowed, celebrated and rewarded as entertainment, and then we wonder why our kids turn out to be bullies. And then we wonder why the victims of bullying end up shooting all the kids in the school...

As far as adrenal treatment, there is a generally accepted method, but if you're adrenals are too far shot, that method won't work and you have to individualize it. That's where I'm at right now. To start with you need a 4 point saliva cortisol test (measures cortisol levels over 24 hours so you get an idea what your cortisol is doing over the course of the day and night).

Google Dr. Lam, there is some really good info on his website.

 

[*GG*]

Actually, I find I am just the opposite. When someone is a jerk I think to myself that I have other more serious things to worry about, like being sick. I find I worry less about everything now, because it just does not seem like a big deal anymore. I also do not feel guilty for defending myself anymore like I used to. I do, however, get that annoying fight or flight type reaction still for no reason. But, I have learned to recognize it and know that it is not real. I just wait now for it to be over and tell myself over and over again that it is not real.

this is the way I react, usually anyways, this illness puts lots of things into perspective! We have bigger fish to fry!

GG

 

[*GG*]

Ditto on cruelty on TV. Main offenders are Simon Cowell, Judge Judy, Gordon Ramsay, right wing talk shows, etc. etc. Bullying is allowed, celebrated and rewarded as entertainment, and then we wonder why our kids turn out to be bullies. And then we wonder why the victims of bullying end up shooting all the kids in the school...

Ah some of my favorites! I don't see it as cruelty, just reality for some people, if people tell you, you are awesome all your life, and you are not really, than how will that person learn/grow! I love being a right winger!

GG

 

[Live And Let Die]

One of the things that cleared up quickly once I started Famvir was the oversensitivity to these kinds of things. Carrigon, I fully understand what you are talking about. Being around someone who has "lost their mind angry" would send my heart through the roof and I would crash terribly. I learned over the years to block it out to some degree but it was always there.

Simon Cowell and Judge Judy are in the same boat in my opinion. They strike me as people that probably don't have many real friends. Gordon Ramsay on the other hand is extremely constructive in his critisism and I think he genuinely wants to help people, if you look past the aggression. I've worked off and on in the restaurant industry for years and he KNOWS how to get things done properly. It's one of the few real reality shows out there. Yes, he's over the top, disrespectful needs to tone it down a bit but thats his style. Restaurant work is flat out hard, fast, stressful and something like organised chaos and so are a lot of the people that work them. It's a very "get it done NOW" atmosphere. Owning AND running a restaurant is asking for an early death. Ugh, just the thought of going back into a kitchen makes me wanna crash. . .

gginues - I agree 100%

 

[Live And Let Die]

PNR2008- I went through that to some extent as well but now, looking back, I was misinterpreting things due to the general sense of anxiety I had. You won't realize it until you find a treatment that offers some relief.

 

[leela]

I often wish there was a town for only people like us, quiet and calm and safe. Free of most allergens and pollutants and noise. Just quiet and calm.

I love this. Let's keep it as a wish.

 

[maddietod]

Thanks to this thread I've given up caffeine, chocolate, and sugar. I don't think anybody will be surprised if I stop feeling so sensitive about everything, once I get past the lethargy.

 

[PNR2008]

PNR2008- I went through that to some extent as well but now, looking back, I was misinterpreting things due to the general sense of anxiety I had. You won't realize it until you find a treatment that offers some relief.

I rest my case

 

[taniaaust1]

I think its due to not just the adrenals and not just the fact we dont have the energy to be argueing with others but the fact our brains lack of good working order so have us vulerable and we know this and feel vulerable which just adds to this.

We cant think well or fast .. we cant think of good come backs or good replies to unfair comments etc. It makes it real mean and unfair when someone is being mean to us as our capability to argue back and stick up for ourselves is just not there.

It's a reason why I like online forums.. if someone is mean I have some chance of defending myself rather then being utterly vulerable like I are in real life to such a situation (its otherwise like my brain is at a 3 year old level.. trying to sort an issue out with an adult).. or I can just leave the situation. Something which is real hard to do in real life.

So add our lack of brain funtion to the list of why we cant deal well with mean people.

 

[maddietod]

We cant think well or fast .. we cant think of good come backs or good replies to unfair comments etc. It makes it real mean and unfair when someone is being mean to us as our capability to argue back and stick up for ourselves is just not there.
So add our lack of brain funtion to the list of why we cant deal well with mean people.

Yes, absolutely. I gave up the stimulants, and that helped some. But I've been a bit crashy lately, and my brain is very slow, and the filters between thoughts and speech are broken. So I never know what will fall out of my mouth - even sometimes in chat. I'm going out as little as possible because it's just too hard to be around people.

 

[November Girl]

I seem to have periods of both - when I can not worry about other's stupidity/meanness and the unfairness of life - and when the slightest insult is crushing. At least some of it is based on just how well my body is doing at the time. When your body is really beaten down, your emotions get messed up as well. I'm probably the most sensitive when I've been pushing myself a lot, which I guess would go along with adrenal fatigue.

 

[Sallysblooms]

Adrenals and Neurotransmitters, seratonin can make any noise or light hard. I used to have a hard time with it all. When I was low, VERY low in B12, same thing. It helps to address all of the reasons this might happen.

 

[SickOfSickness]

I agree with most of what has been said.

And I wish for a community like that. It could be possible somewhere someday.

I tend to get in these extra sensitive states, I consider it to be a "pre migraine" state. Often it progresses onto a full migraine if I am not careful, I have learned to avoid it more. Anyway, so I am more sensitive to noise in general especially high pitched, motion around me, moving myself, light.

 

[Valentijn]

Adrenals and Neurotransmitters, seratonin can make any noise or light hard. I used to have a hard time with it all. When I was low, VERY low in B12, same thing. It helps to address all of the reasons this might happen.

Glutamate (a neurotransmitter) is also likely to be high for us, and is involved in sensory input. I'm not sure if having too much of it can exaggerate our perception of smells, etc, but it seems reasonable that it would.

 

[rydra_wong]

I understand the aversion to mean people, the obvious one's are easy to pick out but it's the subtle zings with a smile -on -your -face that get me because mostly I need time to retort to them in an efficient, protective way and of course I'm not always on and usually just trying to survive. Cruel people seem to pick-up on my vulnerability and go for the kill. My family is very critical and easy to avoid but what about the doctor's receptionists, pharmacy employees, etc. They are geared-up and talk so fast and I'm in slow motion not realizing I've been insulted until I'm out the door. I used to be able to blow alot off but now things bother me for days.

I have always been overly sensitive...never knew it had anything to do with adrenals! Your "doctor's receptionist" comment really struck a chord-!

I had lifelong problems with fibroid tumors (3 operations for it, used to pass out from blood loss and the amount of blood loss was very messy - it was very hard to work as I had to hit the rest room EVERY TEN MINUTES). I used to eat an entire bubble pack of iron pills each and every day just to stay alive. When fibroid tumors were finally diagnosed and I arranged to have them removed at 30 years of age, the NURSE told me I was a wimp because women in her family have much lower hemogobin than me and THEY weren't getting an operation! (But SHE had no idea how much iron I had to take to keep my hemoglobin at 8 or that I was passing out or anything). It was just as you said - she delivered her little snide comment and left before my brain was in gear with a retort. It is over 20 years later and I am STILL burned about it!