Since my last entry, some people have commented trying to help me feel better about how my living conditions really aren't as bad as they seem. And while I appreciate the intention, it betrays a lack of understanding on a similar level as a healthy person saying, "it's okay, we all get tired sometimes" regarding CFS.
Because I'm not talking about a little clutter - I'm talking about the ability to walk on the floor.
And I'm not talking about a few dust bunnies - I'm talking about massive food spills that were never cleaned up. I'm talking like half the food in my fridge has gone bad, and since my fridge is tiny the counter spaces are covered in food I've removed after it went bad but have not had the energy to clean.
I'm not talking about clothes that have been worn several times before washing - I'm talking about clothes that have been worn for months, are blood-stained, and stink. There are a few clothes I'm managing to wash about once a month - 4 pieces of clothing total (including pjs and such). Not four different outfits, mind you, but four different items of clothing.
I'm talking about eating off of dirty dishes more often than not.
My life has morphed into this from requiring space from my caregiver, and not being well enough to fill in the gap myself, and having no one else able to and willing to do it for me.
And it's really, truly, fantastic that several of you are able to maintain decent living conditions - I applaud you! That's fantastic! But please don't assume that just because you're capable of it, then so am I, and that I'm just being overly particular about my standards. I strongly desire the same dignity and cleanliness the rest of you are taking for granted. Hopefully I will have it soon.
Uhm, it's bad.
Blog entry posted by Dainty, Jun 18, 2014.
About the Author
Dainty became ill as a teenager and spent 7 years mostly bedridden from ME/CFS, life-threatening MCS reactions, extreme food allergies/sensitivities, cognitive impairment, fibromyalgia, episodes of temporary paralysis and various unexplained emergencies. The past 5 years she has experienced profound improvement from various treatment approaches. With homelessness and PTSD presenting as significant obstacles, she continues to pursue healing full time and find incorrigible opportunities to enjoy life.