Thank you all for the kind encouragement and for reading my blog. When you all let me know I am not the only one struggling with these things, it just makes CFS mentally more manageable overall.
Update: Brain fog keep increasing, I cannot even watch movies, I think is the walks. Minor crash after therapy: 2 hours in bed. Exercise is on hold until further notice or maybe I will just change the type.
Physically and Emotionally in a very good place.
So today I had the second session with therapist (T) and it was very much of the same: I am struggling with acceptance and management of the illness (No $hit ?!?!).
She tells me to give myself permission to be sick, learn to communicate to husband what I can and cannot do, and communicate it several times a day if needed: Where I am and how I am doing.
Like many others, I am type A personality, all about the planning, control and over achievement. It has been hard for me to let go. How can you go from being a planner to be a free spirit?? How to let go of my conceived sense of control?
How do you redefine your whole personality just to survive this thing?
T told me to adapt to the difference in personality with husband, if he doesn't plan in advance is not the end of the world. There is not a right way or a wrong way, just different approaches to situations. That I am stressing over things that are not really important and making the situation more difficult on myself.
So I am going to work on being more adaptive, and accepting that I am sick and this can be a permanent situation, and more communication to husband of how I am doing.
Blog entry posted by lnester7, Jul 19, 2012.