Lately I've been reminiscing about the changes in my life the past 7 or 8 months or so. I felt like writing about them, and it seems this blog is a good place for it.
This entry is about my shower bench.
My shower is small, even smaller than most tiny showers, being in an RV trailer or "caravan" as some call it. I think it's about 2 1/2 by 2 1/2 feet. For the 5-ish years I've lived here I have had to use a bench in it. My "shower" consisted of sitting down, running hot water over me without getting my hair wet, and then remaining there a while afterwards to cool off enough that I didn't faint upon standing due to POTS. I'd stumble out of the shower and immediately have to lay down. Standing up while showering was completely out of the question; the mere idea was laughable, as I didn't even have the energy to change position on the bench.
About 8 or 9 months ago, soon after beginning a treatment I suddenly realized that I was halfway through a shower and had not yet sat down on the bench. (!!!) I was instead leaning my leg against the bench for mild support. I tried sitting down, and it just felt...unnecessary. As in, "whyever would I want to sit down?" So, I stood up again, and finished my shower. And it happened with the next shower, and the next and the next for weeks. And I wasn't even crashing afterwards!
Then I had to stop treatment for a while, and it wasn't long before I had to sit in the shower again. I was so disappointed. I tried to stand, and just couldn't. No amount of effort was making it doable. However, I could change to different positions, which was a small comfort. With my next treatment I was happy to find myself back on my feet again - literally - and without difficulty. So amazing.
Two days ago I took the bench out of my shower completely. After my last treatment it felt like leaning against it was affecting my posture in a bad way, and it seemed I could probably get through without it. So far, so good! I'm loving seeing that bench outside my shower instead of inside it, and I now have a lot more space to move about freely. All 2 1/2 square feet of it.
Maybe someday I'll take the bench out altogether.
And sell it.
Or throw it off a cliff.
The Shower Bench
Blog entry posted by Dainty, Jul 22, 2012.
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About the Author
Dainty became ill as a teenager and spent 7 years mostly bedridden from ME/CFS, life-threatening MCS reactions, extreme food allergies/sensitivities, cognitive impairment, fibromyalgia, episodes of temporary paralysis and various unexplained emergencies. The past 5 years she has experienced profound improvement from various treatment approaches. With homelessness and PTSD presenting as significant obstacles, she continues to pursue healing full time and find incorrigible opportunities to enjoy life.