The Menopause before Menopause -- Sucks.

Blog entry posted by Runner5, Mar 8, 2018.

I'll tell you what I told my kids.

Why? WHY! Seriously. C'MON DNA - there is no reason to put me through this. You could just leave my body alone and then make me drop dead at an appropriate time. This is UNCALLED FOR.

My bony little hands without any fat left in them that burn easily (steam, a bit of grease - I've burned myself 3 times this last month!), and they scratch so easily I have to be continuously careful now ... WTF. From a strangers perspective seeing me for the first time one word would jump to mind: FRAIL.

Okay, okay, I'm out. I want a sit-down talk with my DNA about radically altering how my body fat is suddenly re-distributed. Pulling it from my limbs, my hands, my face (doing the frail number) and then plunking it back down with little to no thought on my jelly belly, my 24-7 food baby. My muffin top: a crudely made thoughtless muffin crafted by DNA with no baking experience.

For a lark, I tried on my son's glasses over the top of my contacts. I expected the world to be a blurry funny mess. Instead, it snapped into bright focus and relief. HOLY COW. Are you serious? I just had my eyes checked last year and a new much stronger prescription.

I'm on a rant about how unfair life is and a beautiful silver-haired lady glides over to me and says, "dear, when I turned 40 I had to get a new prescription every six months for awhile as my eyes changed."

OMG - WHY WASN'T I TOLD it would be this bad?!

Oh, the things hormones can cause. I'm either too cold. Too hot. I'm sweating at night or otherwise completely uncomfortable. I get up every hour all night long and toss and turn.

I'm either constipated or running to the loo. My hair has thinned, my eyebrows mostly fell out. I'm out to pasture and I'm 43. I wish I had some female relatives to call up and interrogate -- "did you go through this crap?" I would ask.

I've changed my diet up - and my activity up - and that's not easy because I get sugar cravings from you know where. I NEED ME SOME CHOCOLATE. Just drop the barrel in the kitchen, please.

I sound like one of those daytime television commercials, "along with a diet high in fiber and low in sugar and fat" -- HA! Yeah that's the train I'm on I tell ya. None of them fiber bars though - those kill me. No wheat or refined grains either, bah' my food consumption is lame. I had a dream I ate a pizza earlier.

My gallbladder retired at some point last year. It left me a note, "YOU SUCK, I'VE HAD ENOUGH, YOU WANT THIS MEAT DIGESTED DO IT YOURSELF." Gosh, it had been so quiet for years I didn't know it had that kind of pent of emotional rage that would suddenly lash out.


So I got the big old bottle of digestive enzymes. I quit eating meat. I quit the high levels of saturated fat in my diet. Now - it bares to mention that a good friend of mine is a.) younger than me and b.) VERY MUCH A MALE. The entire time, he's like, NO NO KETO!!!! EAT THE BUTTER! EAT THE BUTTTTTTER!!

Nothing makes me sicker faster than having butter. :( ...bummer. Milk chocolate - yeah that too. You have to have your gallbladder on board for that kind of action. He's never even suffered a cold, him understanding gallbladder issues is like me being able to do math.

I tried that Keto BS diet though - and it nearly killed me. I tell you what - that is not the diet for me.

It took my hormones to a whole other planet of screwed up and left them there to find their own way home and I will testify that my half an apple per day wasn't the cause of me descending downhill on a bobsled.

So I have been actively avoiding him because I can't look him in the eye and say, "hey, I am eating 6 servings of mostly veggies per day and some faux meat and some protein shakes." His head spins around on his shoulders at even the barest mention of Soy and how he always hated the fact I eat apples.

But I feel better.

I've had some normal bathroom visits -- throwing a party for that I tell ya.

My energy really improved and I could exercise a few days a week. That's good and bad. I go back to things I used to do and have zilch in the way of muscles now ("do a plank" -- HA! PLANKS? Yeah maybe never). Any training plan I even glance at is loaded with items I can't possibly do. First thing that happens is my tendons and joints ache and complain. Being either in a chair or in bed for the past 3 months? (probably longer, I refuse to think about it) has left what little I had in the way of fitness diminished and the inflammation I still have makes exercising perilous. Inflammation makes it super easy to hurt yourself and tare up things that don't like to heal - like tendons. (FYI -- knowledge from my running days, tendons require blood flow to heal up and it's very difficult to get blood flowing to tendons particularly if you're as sedate as I am.)

Over all I'm doing better though, I'm back to my 6 hour window of operation again but some things have slid downhill and I'm not sure I'll get those back. A few years ago I was driving more, going out a few times a week and I can't and haven't done that. I can't commit to being places or doing things and my schedule pretty much has to always be, "out to lunch."

Well, that's my update. I'm slowly working on putting out a birdhouse to watch this spring / summer and I bought some gladiola bulbs which -- with any luck -- I'll actually plant. Who knows. I start a project and the completion time for me is usually between 6 months and never.

All the best Y'all -- Big Up from the Oregon Coast ((hugs))

  1. perchance dreamer
    I'm glad you are doing better now. As awful as your experience was, I did enjoy reading about it because you are such a good writer.

    I was completely through menopause at the age of 44. Earlier, I had an ovary removed because of a benign tumor, and that made me go through menopause at a young age. I got on bioidentical hormones immediately and was able to bypass most of the sucky symptoms of going through menopause.