I've been a member of an online disabled dating site for several years. And all I've met are losers, abusers, and incompatibles.
I've also met alot of disabled men who said they cannot handle my disability. As soon as they learn about it or watch my videos about it, it's totally forget it. I've had men with cerebral palsy tell me that they don't go through a fraction of the suffering that a CFIDS/ME patient goes through and that they could never handle being with someone like me. You'd be surprised how often I hear that from men with other disabilities. No one can handle the level of disability a CFIDS/ME patient goes through.
I've met phishers, alot of phishers. Phishers are the ones who are just checking to see if someone will actually be interested in them. They have no intention of ever having a relationship with you, although they will lead you on for awhile. They just want someone to tell them they are attractive and that you are interested in them. Then, after a few weeks, they will drop you and move on to the next one.
I've met men who have led me on for a few weeks and then decided to attack my religion or my disability. Abusers. They were well aware from the start what my religion is and my disability and I'm very open with explaining both. But after a few weeks, it's suddenly, "I'm a devout whatever and would never date someone who is Wiccan." Or "I will never understand your religion no matter how many times you explain it. I don't want someone like you."
I've met men who will just plain drop you for no reason at all. They act like you're kewl and interesting and they really want to have a relationship with you. And then, nothing. No letters, no response to you asking if something is wrong. Just nothing. And yet, you will still see them showing up on the dating site. So, yes, you are being dropped and ignored for no reason at all. These are the ones that make me mad. They just leave you hanging, wondering if you should kick them off your Facebook or MSN or whatever. No explanation on if you said something they didn't like, if they met someone else, if they just don't think it will work out. Nothing. Not even a note to say, I don't think we'll workout, Just nothing. I usually give them a few days, and if there's still no response, I kick them off anything I added them to.
I've met alot of men who were too disabled for me. I'm not well enough to care for someone who is mostly paralyzed in a wheelchair. I can't care for someone with seizures or mental illness.
I've also met alot of men who really aren't that disabled at all. They can travel the world and work and all kinds of stuff and they want someone who can also travel and do stuff. They always say that they don't let their disability stop them from doing anything they want to do. Well, I'm sorry, but severe CFIDS/ME does stop me from doing those things.
I've met a few who wanted to change me or fix me. That doesn't work either. Accept me as is, or forget it.
I've met tons of scammers. The foreign ones want an American mealticket or greencard. They will do or say anything to get out of their home country. And then there are the ones that just want your SS check. They all have an ulterior motive.
I've met alot of disrespectful ones that don't respect a thing in my profile or even bother to read it. I've clearly stated that I cannot have kids and do not want someone with kids. So what do I get? Tons of men with kids looking for me to be the new mom. Or looking for a breeder.
The list is long of what I've met. Alot of them lie. They just want cyber and when they see you won't go for it, they drop you.
So basically, I haven't met anyone in years online. Online dating sux.
Online Disabled Dating Sux
Blog entry posted by Carrigon, Jun 18, 2010.