Lost in translation
I cannot let it go, even after more than two years…..
A doctor, appointed to come and assess my medical condition said I ‘’sat comfortably on his bed for thirty minutes’’. A perfectly innocuous statement you might conclude - until you consider that he was only in my house for twelve minutes, and by his own admission, just fifteen minutes.
I spoke to someone close to me and she suggested that, given this is how the game is played, I should, shall we say, bend the rules a little in order to give myself a chance.
Is that what these assessment doctors are doing ? Shouldn’t we say they are lying; am I to lie too ? Why should I lie, am I not poorly enough ? And where would it all end ?
Claimant : The vicar will be here soon doc, just in case…..just in case I don’t quite make it through the interview…..( he didn’t flinch…)
Oh and the emergency services might be along at any moment, in case I stop breathing…..( heart of stone this bloody guy ) And the fire brigade are about to break down the front door because I have probably left the gas on ( the bugger is deaf )
Doctor : Claimant has an active and varied social life.
Claimant : Sorry doctor, I need to put another cushion under my back for support, please excuse me whilst I shove it under my back. I am so incredibly exhausted that without it I would collapse in a crumpled heap.
I might even die at any moment ( good he’s writing that bit down )
Doctor : Claimant is so full of energy that at one point the interview was halted whilst he levitated; an ascent to the heavens that was curtailed only by the bedroom ceiling.
Claimant : Can we get the bit about stretching my arms above my head over with quickly please. I can barely stand; in fact you might have to catch me. I can barely breathe, and if I put my arms above my head I might lose….. I might lose my balance, and in all probability, die. Are you lot insured for that by the way ?
Doctor : Claimant stretched his arms with such alacrity, and in all directions, in such a very short space of time that I had to dive under the bed. Such energy the like of which I have never seen.
May have discovered an alternative to fossil fuels.
Have informed the National Grid.
Claimant : Please take no notice of this twitch doc and this bandage across my head is only for medicinal purposes. My muscles short circuit and at times my head wobbles about a fixed axis, only to then render the whole of my being into a projectile, the trajectory of which is difficult to predict.
Doc : Claimant spends his hobby times break dancing and body popping. His favourite move appears to be that of spinning on his head.
At one point he appeared to bounce off the walls. So frightened was I by this effervescence of spontaneity that I almost soiled my pants.
Claimant : Thanks for coming Doc, sorry about my slurring voice, and my inability to breathe. I can barely move you see….where are you Doc, don’t leave me, it’s all gone dark….so very, very dark. Help.
Doc : The room light was only switched back on at the end of the interview.
The DWP ( and of course our politicians ) know what the game is, they have the power to control the score.
Whilst this happens, the sufferings of millions is exacerbated by a system that adds to our misery by accusing us of lying ( for that is what it is )
And whilst we are being accused of lying our Politicians are strutting the international stage condemning other Governments of human rights abuses.
Has any claimant, anywhere, ever carried out such a crime as this ?
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Lost in translation
Blog entry posted by Quilp, Jun 30, 2013.