The weight has started to fall off again. I try to sustain myself...Complan, nut milks blended with fruit, mango blended with coconut water, rice cakes to line...and a potent multivitamin. But the scales disappoint me in spite of my efforts.
I stand in the bath facing the mirror and I see only a diminished self staring back, the rest lost to my gastric issues. The stomach curves I once was so desperate to crunch away, the little womanly fat which sat unwelcome on my hips..absent and missed. My shoulders are all angles, my arms sticklike with no hint of strength.
I am still a few pounds from looking gaunt but I saw my reflection and wanted to shout "stop! This is OK; but this is enough now."
I distract myself-I continue reading The Room, I work on my hydrangea cross stitch, I talk to people online, often kind strangers who offer support. I daydream, drink coconut water and watch as the lid of clouds temporarily shuts out the English summer. But always, whether I am looking or not, the stomach pain and discomfort provide the background to my days.
I try to not panic. This is a problem and problems have solutions.
Light Body, Heavy Soul
Blog entry posted by Booksellercate, Jul 8, 2017.