Light Body, Heavy Soul

Blog entry posted by Booksellercate, Jul 8, 2017.

The weight has started to fall off again. I try to sustain myself...Complan, nut milks blended with fruit, mango blended with coconut water, rice cakes to line...and a potent multivitamin. But the scales disappoint me in spite of my efforts.

I stand in the bath facing the mirror and I see only a diminished self staring back, the rest lost to my gastric issues. The stomach curves I once was so desperate to crunch away, the little womanly fat which sat unwelcome on my hips..absent and missed. My shoulders are all angles, my arms sticklike with no hint of strength.

I am still a few pounds from looking gaunt but I saw my reflection and wanted to shout "stop! This is OK; but this is enough now."

I distract myself-I continue reading The Room, I work on my hydrangea cross stitch, I talk to people online, often kind strangers who offer support. I daydream, drink coconut water and watch as the lid of clouds temporarily shuts out the English summer. But always, whether I am looking or not, the stomach pain and discomfort provide the background to my days.

I try to not panic. This is a problem and problems have solutions.
  1. perchance dreamer
    I see from your profile that you live in Kent. My mother-in-law grew up in Whistable, and I hope DH and I can go there someday.

    I remember a character in a novel referred to Whistable as posh. My MIL said it certainly wasn't when she lived there, but that was a long time ago.
  2. Booksellercate
    @perchance dreamer I am rather baffled by the issues-particularly as I've had no response to anything I've tried aloe vera juice and didn't notice any difference. It's frustrating to say the least. CBD oil though-that one I haven't tried. I am slightly concerned about being written off with IBS-which one GP tried-even after I pointed out that my bowels were fine and my symptoms had lasted for months without a break. I've always thought IBS was episodic and usually involving bowel issues.

    I hadn't realised that the boy narrated either. Their time in Room was extraordinary, their lives described (pardoxically) beautifully. I'm looking forward to hearing the backstory..and how they move on with their lives. It's a very original novel.
  3. perchance dreamer
    All your gastric issues sound really difficult, Booksellercate. I used to have IBS, but got rid of almost all of it with a couple of supplements. I also realized I had developed a dairy intolerance, so stopping it helped my symptoms a lot. But IBS might be quite different from what you have. Anyway, here are the supplements that helped.

    Have you tried aloe vera juice? It's supposed to help with the stomach lining. George's Aloe Vera Juice works really well for me and is inexpensive. I order it from Amazon.

    Also, have you tried CBD oil? My doctor told me about Plus CBD Oil in the 10 MG dosage. It's really helped.

    I loved Room! When I got it, I hadn't realized it was narrated from the young boy's point of view. I'm glad I didn't know that because I probably wouldn't have ordered it. Room is a beautiful portrayal of love and resilience.
    Booksellercate likes this.
  4. Booksellercate
    @perchance dreamer. The million dollar question -what are my gastric issues? To be honest, I don't yet know. I was diagnosed with gastritis last December and put on various PPIs and H2 blockers but was unresponsive. I changed my diet, went gluten-free...and tried every gastric friendly supplement known-and still I battle loss of appetite, nausea, pain and bloating daily. Back to the gastro doctor tomorrow to hopefully start getting answers to my question.

    And yes, it is Room-I realised after I wrote the blog that the 'The' was superfluous. Just over half way through and enjoying it. Thank you for your comment. Not sure how to reply directly to tag you...
  5. perchance dreamer
    What are your gastric issues, Booksellercate? Also, just out of curiosity, is the book you are reading Room by Emma Donoghue?
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