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just wondering...have you wondered?

Blog entry posted by RestingInHim, Mar 30, 2010.

lately i've been wondering if i have alzheimer's. not to take away from those who have this horrendously debilitating illness. but...i'm wondering, do you ever wonder this...

when you can't remember ANYone's name?...
when you stop remembering how to spell?...
when you don't remember what day of the week it is, much less the date?...
when you never remember more than one thing on your shopping list...and that's iffy?...
when you fail to remember the last paragraph you read?...

do you wonder when...
you can't track in a conversation with one person?...
you discover you didn't register the last 4 blocks you drove?...
you find multitasking is impossible? (which isn't so bad, come to think of it!)...
you had no idea it was Palm Sunday and you haven't even thought about planning Easter dinner for your family?...
you have to ask your 81-year-old mother which of your kids did what in their childhood?...
you attempt to follow a thread in the only forum you participate in, and your head feels like it's spinning off?

or have you wondered, "maybe it's the medication"...or "maybe it's not the medication, nor alzheimer's (thank God!)...maybe this is just the way i am."?

have you wondered..."for how long?"..."for always?"?

today i was able to visit with a friend. today i got from one place to the other. tonight i got to see my granddaugher receive her first Principle's Honor Roll, High Honor's award (she's 5). tonight..i can read...and write a bit. i am grateful. and i sorrow over those who weren't able today.

but i'm wondering...have you wondered about these things?

resting...yet wondering.
  1. Julia Rachel
    Brain Fog. I remember one day sitting at the end of our ranch road...and wondering "which side of the road am I supposed to drive on?" I was calculating that I was in a left hand drive car....thus...I figured out I was in the US and I was to drive on the "right" side of the road. HHV-6A causes Brain Fog, as well as low thyroid and low Dhea....all associated with our illness. You are not alone.....My brain fog is getting better with treatment.....and a change in diet helps about 10% for me as well.....
  2. Victoria
    OR, Maybe we ARE all getting Alzheimers :eek:.

    Maybe there's a subset of ME/CFS/FM who get Alzheimers or Dementia.

    But, I am taking it one day at a time. I try not to do too much that requires memory or serious brain power, but they say to improve memory/brain as we age, we should do the opposite.

    We SHOULD be doing challenging brain tasks or giving ourselves things to memorise.

    Which reminds me, I was going to do a crossword every day (as I said in another post), I still haven't remembered to do one since I wrote that a few weeks ago.

    Oh well, back to cleaning the bookshelves, at least that doesn't take any thinking.
  3. MEG
    We MUST keep laughing at ourselves or we'll go crazy
  4. jimbob
    sorry, I was going to reply to your post, but I forgot what you said!
  5. MEG
    I am glad I am not the only one...

    my husband recently commented that my...oh I can't remember the word, but he said it was getting difficult to carry on a conversation with me because of, now I remember,my dementia. He has made a neuro appointment...he too thinks this is Alzheimers. Who understands?
  6. Victoria
    Valia,

    I haven't forgotten so much, how to do things.

    When I'm having a bad day, I have to sit/stand very still & mentally shift my brain into gear (which is the only way I can explain it). Sometimes it takes seconds, sometimes minutes & then I remember , or my brain pathway clears.

    I usually forget what someone has told me within about 30 seconds (of their telling me). I can rarely hold a lengthy conversation with anyone.

    Alarming.

    It was getting that way at work, where I had to write down what my Boss asked me to do. I would then keep referring back to the written instructions to complete the task.

    My older brother says it's just AGE.

    Bullsh*t I said to him. A normal healthy person who is fit & active (both mentally & physically) should not suddenly lose their cognitive skills. Some of the older members may remember some long posts I wrote. I do not think I could do this now.

    Every morning when I log onto the computer I have to look & see which day of the week it is.

    It's definitely scary. It gives you a sense of what it must be like to gradually succumb to Alzheimers.

    It's incredibly frustrating too. This Easter weekend I have 2 family functions to attend. The first one is just family, but the second one is extended family & friends. :eek: Will I be able to converse sensibly on the 2nd one?
  7. valia
    I suffer from severe cognitive impairment/dysfunction, I am assured it is not permanent but I dont know?

    I have forgotten how to drive, how to use my sewing machine that I have had for 20 years, how to set the clock on my cooker, programme the TV, use my camera, the list goes on..............Sometimes I can manage by following instructions, but never retain the information, so the next time Im back to square one and to think I used to love gadgets and learning new skills

    On really bad days I dont understand written or spoken words, its like I am hearing a foreign language for the first time.
    One day my friend asked, would I like a cup of coffee, I was completely blank, he repeated it 3 times and was getting annoyed before I said, Im sorry I dont know what you mean.

    It sounds funny and I laugh a lot at myself when I do or say stupid things but at the same time it's more than a little scary :eek:
  8. starryeyes
    I have this problem too. I have no doubt that CFS is causing me to be cognitively impaired. I don't think it's exactly like Alzheimers but I do agree that it's scary and alarming.
  9. RestingInHim
    too funny! guess we ought to be grateful that we CAN wonder. and i am.

    and thank God we have a sense of humor!! what a blessing!!
  10. Victoria
    ALL THE TIME. lol

    I have been wondering for over a year now & it's getting worse.

    Goodness only knows how I worked full-time up until 6 weeks ago. I haven't been back to my old office. I dread to think how many errors they've uncovered.

    It's getting to the stage where I'm almost scared to write a post or Blog (in case I can't get my head into gear).

    I've set myself some computer related tasks to try & keep up my computer skills, which apart from being a fast typist, were minimal in the first place.

    Yes, I wonder all the time. In fact I have been wondering for over a year now...............and it's getting worse.......................

    Yes, LOL, I wonder all the time now, & it's..............
    ........................

    What was I saying?