1. Patients launch $1.27 million crowdfunding campaign for ME/CFS gut microbiome study.
    Check out the website, Facebook and Twitter. Join in donate and spread the word!

just so tired of it all...does it ever get better?

Blog entry posted by hurtingallthetimet, Jan 5, 2012.

i am just needing to vent....after a very long week last week...i posted a thread...taking kids to appointments while school is out like alot do..it has left me wiped out...one of my kids isnt feeling well...and that has caused me more upset and stress and worry and of course more pain and fatigue..


today my head felt like it busting open...the migrane medication didnt help but i put muscle rub on neck that was part that was hurting worse on body and put on heating pad that helped some..

im just so tired of not having a life...its hard to look at the upside when things are so painful and hard...why cant we have some good days? why cant something great happen for us? am i selfish? i talk to my extended family some and its always the same...they have busy full lives...i cant talk to them about all the stress of money we are having because its always the same..they ask why doont i find a job....they dont see me and dont see how sick i am...i struggle to do everythign..its a struggle from the minute i wake up...i want to work...i use to work all the time...had a harder job than why they do now and did alot more on the side also....so its not that im lazy...im sick...

i go to bed exhuasted and in pain wake up the same but more stiff...i dread even brushing my teeth..thats horrible that i feel that way but i do...i try to smile and pretend im ok as much as i can to my hubby and kids...but these appointments are killing me..hubby cant take off anymore work...im tired and worn down and feel useless...my head feels some better but my throat which is always sore is killing me...my stomach is upset i feel nausea and need to throw up but cant...my eyes even hurt when i went to rub them..they are actually sore to touch..

i get out of home only for appointments to to get grocerys...no energy for anythign fun anymore....living seems like a chore...im upset and im tired and i hate the pain and fatigue...i want some good things to happen i want to feel alive again...just needed to vent...just angry and tired...
  1. PNR2008
    I feel the same way and I don't have kids, I have a dog and a cat and can't get the dog walked or the cat to the vet. On a good day a small part of myself comes through and I may accomplish tasks but for about a week I can barely get to the mailbox. Actually after a few health crisis over the last three months, my regular sick self is a memory. The weather has been good in my town but another sunny day just makes me feel worse for not getting out of bed. I even question if depression has set in but the arm and leg semi truck- parked- on -them pain is ever present. What to do? What to do?
  2. hurtingallthetimet
    thank you both for replying..we do not have transportation where i live..i wish we did...cant afford taxis....i dont live near family or friends....im pretty isolated...my kids do alot for themselves and im trying to get over feeling guilty about it...the conselour has helped alot with me trying to get over them having to do more...my husband helps out alot also...i just hate that they all have to pick up more of my slack...i really feel useless..

    so much stress these last few weeks from alot of appointments as i said...it just taeks so much out of me to do anythign...i still have the busting headache...the migrane medication isnt helping with it..i guess its just from stress...i feel worse than i have felt in a very long time and i always feel bad....

    it just makes me upset that doing the very littlest of anything can make us hurt so much....my back is still killing me from wehre i fell...i dont have the money to have mri done to see if anymore damage was done than what all was already wrong...i just get so frustrated and tired of it all...thanks again for listening it does help to talk about it and i know everyone has been through the same and going through the same or similiar...these illness are so painful i just wish there was something to take the pain away
  3. kurt
    Things can get better, but the road to improvement is pretty complicated. I know how you feel, so sorry. Please do vent, this is a frustrating illness.

    Sounds like you need to change the direction of your illness, just seeing one small improvement, no matter what it is, does wonders for the mental state with CFS. Is there one thing you can work on? I find that trying to fix too much at one time never works, but focusing on one small problem at a time can improve life.
  4. Ocean
    I can relate. It can be so hard at times when the most ordinary simple parts of life become such a struggle. Do you mind if I ask how old your kids are? Are they at an age when soon they will be able to do more for themselves, like drive or take public transportation? I know it must be so hard to be so sick and have children to care for. It's hard for me and I don't have any kids. I want something good to happen for you very very soon.