i am just needing to vent....after a very long week last week...i posted a thread...taking kids to appointments while school is out like alot do..it has left me wiped out...one of my kids isnt feeling well...and that has caused me more upset and stress and worry and of course more pain and fatigue..
today my head felt like it busting open...the migrane medication didnt help but i put muscle rub on neck that was part that was hurting worse on body and put on heating pad that helped some..
im just so tired of not having a life...its hard to look at the upside when things are so painful and hard...why cant we have some good days? why cant something great happen for us? am i selfish? i talk to my extended family some and its always the same...they have busy full lives...i cant talk to them about all the stress of money we are having because its always the same..they ask why doont i find a job....they dont see me and dont see how sick i am...i struggle to do everythign..its a struggle from the minute i wake up...i want to work...i use to work all the time...had a harder job than why they do now and did alot more on the side also....so its not that im lazy...im sick...
i go to bed exhuasted and in pain wake up the same but more stiff...i dread even brushing my teeth..thats horrible that i feel that way but i do...i try to smile and pretend im ok as much as i can to my hubby and kids...but these appointments are killing me..hubby cant take off anymore work...im tired and worn down and feel useless...my head feels some better but my throat which is always sore is killing me...my stomach is upset i feel nausea and need to throw up but cant...my eyes even hurt when i went to rub them..they are actually sore to touch..
i get out of home only for appointments to to get grocerys...no energy for anythign fun anymore....living seems like a chore...im upset and im tired and i hate the pain and fatigue...i want some good things to happen i want to feel alive again...just needed to vent...just angry and tired...
just so tired of it all...does it ever get better?
Blog entry posted by hurtingallthetimet, Jan 5, 2012.