Happy birthday outing and going to work outing

Blog entry posted by CedarHome, Jul 9, 2017.

So, last week was my husband's birthday. We haven't been out to eat since I got sick in February.

Against my better judgment I made reservations at his favorite (local family owned Italian) restaurant.
Early at least.... 5:30 pm...- that should help, right?

We were almost the only people in there, but there was still an uncomfortable level of background noise and activity. I had to ask to have the music turned down. They kindly did so.

I was just thinking "I'm not going to be able to sit upright this long...NO I can do it" when....

The ACCORDION guy appeared. I felt like I was in a horror movie.

AND THEN HE STARTED PLAYING...

I literally left mid-order, muttering a hasty apology and a promise to wait in a bookstore. I couldn't begin to explain myself.

The bookstore was quiet, spacious and nearly empty. Chair in back corner. Heaven. My family got food to go and I was able to manage a brief picnic in a nearby park. (yay for walkable small downtown)

That amount of walking and stress must have been the start of the mini crash. At least I'm calling it a mini crash.

Which I pushed even further by going to work on Thursday for 3.5 hours. Usually, I attempt to work from home a few hours a week and that's about it.

It was so fun! I felt like I was impersonating my former self. I was putting on the costume of an articulate, energetic, problem-solving capable person.

It was such a thrill to feel like that person again. But it felt like an act. 3.5 hours felt like 20.

Two full days of being flat on the couch later and I haven't recovered to my prior level of inactivity yet.

If I thought about it, I probably would have once said that I feel like a little boat in a river- navigating in a swift current. Sure, you get pushed around and you can't really resist the flow, but at least you're moving!

This morning I felt like I'm a sieve instead. One wedged between rocks. Mouth open wide for all the leaves and twigs coming downstream. // Jeez, and this is midsummer! Birds singing and everything. Can't wait till happy midwinter thoughts with this illness! (as she attempts and fails to insert a smiley)
hedgehog, Shoshana, Skycloud and 3 others like this.
CedarHome

About the Author

Becoming a full time bird feeder watcher
  1. Pen2
    I love bird watching! I watch out my window. I think everyday listening to their songs is so relaxing,their colors so amazing.
    The violin terror....totally get it. Going to church I get the same over stimulation..church! I do the, "I can do this" . Than the singing starts...all the way to the pastor speaking into a microphone.....yikes.
    Yup, I get it. I crash every time I go.
    I used to sing there, volunteer for lots. Not anymore.
    Loving my birds...
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  2. Shoshana
    Very good "short story" version, of how we live our lives...or how we did, at certain points in this illness. Thanks for your sharing. It all made perfect sense to me! I suggest someone brings the food home, next occasion. Thankfully, I can attest to the fact that while full time bird feeder watcher, is not the career I educated and worked for, I do enjoy it. And one can learn a lot about wild birds. They do get me through rough waters! :)
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  3. CedarHome
    Ah, art museum.... what a lovely outing!
    The plant is a nettle start in spring. You might know that nettles are powerful plants- however- I just picked the photo because it was handy and hopeful the day I signed up here. They grow everywhere around my house. I was able to go out and harvest some a few days this spring. Had some nettle soup. In years past I've been ambitious and able to harvest and blanch and freeze some for winter stews. Maybe someday again.
  4. Skycloud
    I laughed at the accordion guy's appearance - the horror! I can imagine from experiences of my own.

    "It was so fun! I felt like I was impersonating my former self. I was putting on the costume of an articulate, energetic, problem-solving capable person. "

    About 2 years ago My husband took me to an art exhibition I really wanted to see in a city about an hour away. First time in a wheelchair, first proper outing for a very long time. I remember feeling like such a 'real person' in the cafe afterwards.

    You write well, thanks :)

    p.s. what is the plant in your avatar pic?
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  5. CedarHome
    thank you! so much of what we go through (possibly projecting here) can be so tedious when not dismal... I keep trying to see the entertaining side when possible
  6. hellytheelephant
    You describe this SO brilliantly. I have so many memories of 'accordian moments' where you suddenly realize that you are not up to what you are doing. I love your similie of the sieve- please write more- you have a flare for it :)
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  7. TiredSam
    I was just thinking "I'm not going to be able to sit upright this long...NO I can do it" when....
    The ACCORDION guy appeared.

    Sorry but that's just hysterical :)

    EDIT: Just realised "hysterical" is a loaded term in the context of ME, what I meant to say was that it was very funny. Even though it wasn't. Hope that clarifies things.
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