I have always been a positive thinker, you know the, "cup half full" person....
I believe I still am for the most part.
Some days as I wake up, feeling miserable with ME, I think of all the things I would like to do. Things that I used to get excited about and enjoy.
At the risk of sounding like I'm whining I decided, well, PR is a place I can share and possibly others would like to share too.
It's been almost 2 years since ME took over my life completely. There were lots of things that I had to give up before 2yrs ago, I just didn't know it was ME that was causing my lack of ability.
One big one, my horse....I have ridden horses all my life. English riding. Jumping, competing, working on the farm to keep board down, even teaching.
When I realized I just couldn't work and take good care of my wonderful horse...I let him go...he deserved more.
He, to me, was the perfect horse. My Poe Boy's. He sold to the first person that met him. I wasn't surprised.
I also have been singing all my life. I had to stop singing at church, couldn't stand, OI, rehearsals were too hard to make. At 8:30pm I'm done.
What led me to write this today is when I woke up this morning ( feeling miserable), it is a gorgeous day out! I thought of the front bushes that needed trimming. How my neighbor would come over and gab. I had bought a new trimmer and rake not long ago. Still haven't used them.
As I looked outside at all the overgrown trees and bushes. I started thinking about how excited I would get on such beautiful days. You know that spring fever feeling! I wondered....can I go out there and do it? Now.....there is a cost we pay when we do things with ME.
I realize I have to listen to my body, I am not well. I don't want to make myself worse! Possibly end up suffering in bed...and for how long?!
There's still that small voice inside trying to tell you to do it, you'll be fine.
Confusing isn't it?
So, how about you all out there on PR.
I am sad because I know there are many of you bedridden, those of you severely affected by ME. I am sorry and pray for you all!!
I hope there are some of you out there on PR that want to share, get it out!!
Or......maybe it's just me today. Thanks to all who took the time to read this.
My PR profile is......"Support, Good Medicine". Maybe I need it today.....but maybe someone else does too.
If I get responses/interests from this blog. I will keep going. A... "to be continued" promise.
Facing the Memories
Blog entry posted by Pen2, Aug 9, 2017.
About the Author
Former Healthcare worker, cared for patients of all ages and their families. ME has now prevented me from doing this work. What it can't take away are my memories. Memories of helping people, memories of things I've done that brought me joy. Looking back doesn't have to stay sad. Memories are a gift to smile about. Sometimes for little while, we may need to mourn them. Then smile, hold on to them, remembering the good, letting go of the bad....easy? Not really....just good.