Don't forget the human.

Blog entry posted by Dainty, Sep 16, 2017.

I was participating in one of the fiery threads when I got this thrown at me:

What a weird and inflammatory thing to say.

We'll need to put aside the fact that I'm not interested in moderating. Been there, done that, didn't even get the T-shirt. I've moderated on a lot of forums in the past. I can do it, but it's not fun. I just like helping people. Conflict is stressful. I need less stress in my life, not more.

Aside from that, this person felt like saying that knowing nothing about my life.

They don't know that I just started working part time as an employee for the first time in my adult life 4 months ago, as I've been too ill to work previously for my entire adult life.

They don't know that I also freelance to make ends meet, scrambling for anything that will earn additional income on a daily basis.

They don't know that my fiance walked out on a good job because they treated him badly. He had, and has, my full support on that.

They don't know that I'm TERRIFIED I am working myself too hard, causing my health to collapse again. These days I often don't have a single day I'm not working. The bills are barely paid.

They don't know that this week I worked nearly 6 hours straight the day after I was wheelchairbound with a 101 degree fever and severe chills due to a viral infection. Or that today I worked 6 hours on my feet, only to drive half an hour and work another 3 hours on my feet, to drive home and collapse.

I'll do it again tomorrow.

And I am scared. And I am doing my best. And I'm hoping and praying that everything works out.

Tonight I arrived home to learn that my fiance's latest job wasn't going to work out, because the fumes made him physically ill.

BUT GUYS.

I got on PR and I read and posted because I care about this place.

And someone just wants to accuse me of taking a certain "side" because I want a certain volunteer position?

Let it go on public record: I DON'T WANT TO BE A MODERATOR.

I just want to help where I can. Sometimes it can be that simple.

Remember the human.

That's all.
MandM, realturbo, CJB and 8 others like this.
Dainty

About the Author

Dainty became ill as a teenager and spent 7 years mostly bedridden from ME/CFS, life-threatening MCS reactions, extreme food allergies/sensitivities, cognitive impairment, fibromyalgia, episodes of temporary paralysis and various unexplained emergencies. The past 5 years she has experienced profound improvement from various treatment approaches. With homelessness and PTSD presenting as significant obstacles, she continues to pursue healing full time and find incorrigible opportunities to enjoy life.
  1. Molly98
    Bless you Dainty, I can't begin to imagine how hard it is to struggle to manage 2 jobs and all that driving while having this illness, it's obvious you wouldn't do it and risk your health unless you had to to make ends meet. From your photo you look still young but you have a wisdom beyond your age. you take care of yourself, sending you a big hug. you are a brave woman Dainty
    MandM and Dainty like this.
  2. Dainty
    Thanks so much for your thoughtful words, Shoshana, they are like balm to my soul.
    Molly98 likes this.
  3. Shoshana
    I thought of you, and of your moving piece here, overnight, Dainty. I have felt much sadness over how negative and critical, many comments from people have been, toward you, and toward others, with some posters also assuming bad motives and bad actions, even when those are so very unlikely. I am sorry you were among those treated this way. I also hope that you willnot way overdo and have a difficult relapse.
    MandM, Molly98 and Dainty like this.
  4. wonderoushope
    I thought your replies were fair and articulate in those threads. Those that quick to find the negative in someone else, probably are projecting their own issues on to you. Look after yourself :)
    Dainty likes this.
  5. Shoshana
    You definitely are doing your best. Thank you for your efforts to help the forum. Take good care of yourself. Thank you for your sharing, here, too. I am hoping and praying things will work out for you both, as well.
    Molly98 and Dainty like this.
  6. hedgehog
    I'm sorry you weren't treated with the same courteousness and compassion you treat others with. It's very saddening. Best wishes to your fiance finding a job that lets him maintain his health, and to you managing rest time.
    Molly98 and Dainty like this.
  7. Snow Leopard
    Thanks for letting us know your side of the story Dainty. I'm sorry that all of this has blown up and dragged many people into the imbroglio. Sorry to hear about the issues you and your partner have with jobs too. It must be hard to deal with all of this at once!

    Accusing someone of sucking up to be a moderator is indeed ridiculous as that job is difficult and stressful. I cannot think of any real motivation to do it, except volunteering time help others.
    MandM, Molly98 and Dainty like this.