Does your heart fill with fear at the thought of arranging such a huge, expensive event that you might not physically be able to get through? I feel like mine should have when I started planning my wedding, but honestly I was so naiive, so optimistic. And to be honest, the actual wedding planning has been fine. Enjoyable, even. My relationship with my partner is great. But here is the thing about weddings: everyone else will try to make it their wedding, even though they aren't paying for the thing.
So here are my tips, my "if I could do it all over again" knowledge for all of you that may be thinking of getting married.
First, ELOPE. Don't have a wedding. They're overrated. If you truly want it to be about you and your partner, elope and go to a really nice restaurant. Get dessert even. No, but seriously, consider eloping. With a condition like CFS, you aren't being selfish if you choose not to include others.
OR have a small ceremony with just the people you want there. Then have a reception party with all the people you feel obligated to invite but don't really want to see. Don't tell them it's a wedding until they get there, a surprise reception, if you will. That way they won't impose their will on your wedding, forcing you to spend your precious energy forcing yourself to be assertive while trying not to hurt their feelings.
Lastly, be assertive. It's your wedding, let people know what you want and that's it's not ok for them to walk all over you.
I know that if you're lucky enough to find someone you love and want to marry, a wedding is pretty inconsequential. But I hope that you can still find a way to make it stress-free and enjoyable. ^^ My wedding is next month and my health is so bad now that I'm honestly worried about getting through the day. Also, I've had incredibly bad relations with my family and don't really want to see half of the people that are invited anymore. I have friends attending from overseas, so cancelling or eloping is pretty much no longer an option. But again, while the wedding might not be what we imagined, and while I wish people would stop trying to control it, I am at least happy with the groom!
CFS Wedding Advice
Blog entry posted by Nightingale, Jan 9, 2017.